to 'suggest' that my brother changes his wedding plans?

[Chulita]

I'm one of 5, older sister and brother are married, both younger brothers have recently got engaged. C got engaged about 4 months ago and announced his date a couple of weeks ago, D got engaged about 3 days after C announced the day and then said that he was planning on getting married 2 weeks before C.
D has always felt a bit in the shadows of his two older brothers, he's been going out with his fiancee for longer than DH and I have been together (and longer than C and his fiancee).
I just feel that it's very unfair on C and his lady in that the build-up will be far more for the 1st wedding than theirs and their day will have lost some of the special-ness in that we'll have all just got together for a big wedding 2 weeks previously. Cost-wise as well it'll cost us around £400-£450 for hotels/travel/food/present and then have to double that for the next wedding making an expensive month.
D has to fit wedding in during school holidays whereas C doesn't but C's already booked the venue.
AIBU to tell suggest D has a rethink? He's been with his fiancee for about 7 years, what's another couple of months?

I suggested it but D says that people already see them as Tweedledum and Tweedledee and he wants to break that (not that I think 2 weeks really accomplishes that but hey ho)

Joint weddings have implications of the Moonies etc. I think if D and C had wanted a joint wedding then it was up to them to arrange this, not for other family members to suggest it.
You sound a bit overbearing Chulita. Do you think being the only sister allows you to tell your brothers how to run their lives or something?
This really is something for C and D and their partners and possibly your parents to discuss. Not you, not other family members.

I'm not the only sister 2rebecca but yes, I am horrendously overbearing. Point taken but none of you really understand

I announced my wedding date a year before the wedding. I was upset by my brother announcing his wedding date 8 weeks before my wedding that he was getting married 3 weeks later.

My mum told me to be happy for them but I found that really hard. Then to hear my brother telling people at my wedding that he was fed up of the fuss going on about my wedding and that I was such a spoiled brat that Dh would leave me by Christmas.

My sister in oz was really annoyed as it meant she couldn't be at his wedding as she was flying in 2 days before my wedding (my dad had paid for them to fly over)

Weddings just cause issues in our family :p

Alright, alright I get it

I should imagine that ifyou are family, then you discuss dates with each other.
dsis got married when she did and amongst the considerations were my kids school holidays. My dc1's eleven plus exam. My other sisters work and holiday schedules. etc etc etc. Telling you to butt out is counterproductive to a good family feeling.

www.mydaily.co.uk/2011/05/01/pippa-middleton-set-to-marry/?icid=main|uk-ws-bb|dl10|link4|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mydaily.co.uk%2F2011%2F05%2F01%2Fpippa-middleton-set-to-marry%2F

imagine MOH pippa feels, her sister had a nation on the run up to her wedding it wont be the same for her

If you have to say something and I don't think you you should by the way then I suggest it is to D not C. C may have no issue with it and you could be seen as stirring up trouble and planting the idea that he should be upset about it. I'm sure your intentions are genuine but you could cause big problems here and not come our of it looking very nicE

ladysybil there was a bit of discussion for C's wedding and we'd all agreed on the date but there wasn't any for D's.

It might be compounded by the fact that I offered to make Chris's wedding cake and Dan's actually asked me. I don't want to make one for one brother and not for the other but 2 cakes so close together But that's a different story all together, thanks for your input ladies, maybe this time I'll be swayed by numbers!

My sister did this to me - I was die to be married in the November and she suddenly announced she was getting married in the September.

2 months - not a bad gap? Not really - wouldn't be a problem for a lot of people

For ME it was - my mum & step dad lived overseas, my dad & step mum in Scotland with a guesthouse, my uncle also overseas. NO ONE could afford to come to both weddings.

As mine was "only" a registry office and not actually book yet (you can/could only book x amount of weeks before hand) then I was expected to

1. not get married?
2. have no one there?
3. change my date?

I did eventually give in and get married the same day as her - yes in the end it was a good day but I won't ever forgive & forget. I got SO pissed off with people who thought I was upset as she would get married before me, it wasn't that - I just wanted some frickin family to be able to come!!

I got married 10.30am - luch reception = she got married 2.30 - afternoon reception - shared evening!

I would just keep my head down if I were you and bake both cakes together! You don't know what's gone on behind the scenes in your future SIL's families!

My cousins did this - the weddings were 2 weeks apart. It was great for us cause we only had to fly over for one holiday - a BOGOF wedding trip.

I was a bit worried that the second wedding would not be as good (as it was much less posh and expensive) but it was even better than the first.

Don't get involved. Let your brothers sort it out.

You used their real names in your last post, btw.

I can see your point, I got engaged a month after my older sister, she got married in the summer and I waited until early the following year as I thought it was the right thing to do.
If D doesn't get it he probably still won't even after it's been pointed out to him.

If C announced the date first, then D has been deliberately mean, and knows it, and doesn't care.

Everybody else knows it too.

You could mention it to the fiancee if you want and say you were a bit surprised.