AIBU over my mother and a standing arrangement?

[BombayBadonkadonks]

Good Evening!

I have a standing arrangement with my mum and my ILs regarding footy matches. They take it in turns in looking after my boys whilst DH and I go to watch the local football team. This arrangement has been going for a good few years and includes feeding the boys their tea so they are ready for bed when we pick them up.

Tonight when I collected the boys (DH away at today), mother informed me that the lads hadn't had their tea (it was 6.30pm at this point) as she didn't know what the plans were as I hadn't said anything when I dropped them off.

I was quite when she said this - I didn't say anything we just left and came home. I then had two tired hungry boys (2&5) to deal with which was awful!

I think that she is doing this to spite me as I forgot that I was supposed to watch the wedding at hers and I forgot and made other plans.

Writing this out, makes it sound petty but I am quite upset by her reaction and the lack of consideration for the kids as she knows that they have their tea at about 5.30pm. She knew where I was, what time I would be back and she could have texted if she was unsure.

This arrangement has worked on the other 18 or so occasions since last Aug!

Sorry about the long post and please be gentle!

Am off to have a glass of

theSecondComing
They weren't picked up until an hour after they would normally have tea, and then had to wait until they got home and their mother had made them something to eat. One of them is just 2 years old.
They might not turn into pumpkins, but they would be very hungry and upset.

Their grandmother shouldn't take out her frustration on them.

Upset? I don't thik waiting an hour makes kids upset!

OP I think you are getting a hard time over this and you don't entirely deserve it.

We have no idea how your mother feels about babysitting for your boys or if she feels taken for granted by you or not.

We have no idea if she felt hurt that you forgot the arrangement you had made with her to watch the Royal wedding together (although we would probably be right in guessing that she was).

And we have no idea if she was confused about the usual arrangement because you forgot to mention feeding them this one time.

But what is clear is thet she let two young children go hungry, possibly to prove some kind of point to you, and that's not on.

If she was punishing you for something she shouldn't do it by letting her grandchildren go without their meal. That's a very passive-aggressive way to get at you and it seems downright spiteful.

Perhaps you are guilty of taking her for granted and yes, you let her down, but what a mean way to get back at you or prove a point.