to want to become a hermit forever

[stiglet1980]

I am so tired of trying not to be single and to get a good social life, and I don't know what I am doing wrong, I am nice, laid back, fun, fairly intelligent and yet my birthday weekend AND BH holiday weekend I will be spending it entirely alone despite varying efforts on my part, so I can only conclude there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a person that I don't understand and therefore cannot correct and should go and live in a cave for the rest of my life. I chose the cave as I have a son to raise and am to chicken to actually end it.

we brighton mumsnetters are getting pissed - in a posh way - next weekend - come along and stop whinging

Sure you want me to? lol no one else seems to want me to :(

oh stop it. pull yourself together and come and have a drink

Oh, Oh, over here

I'm exactly the same although not yet tired of being single but struggling to get a social life and very alone.

Was v. tempted to start a thread on it myself earlier but wasn't brave enough.

I'm near enough to Brighton - can I come too??

Can't believe I just said that btw :)

Definately don't choose the cave if you'd not be happy there.

Choose the 'What The Fuck Do I Have To Lose' route and get yourself out there

Looks like I need to move to Brighton :D

and well I have put myself out there a zillion times, there is only so many times you get dust yaself off and try again.

How do I found out what it is that puts people off me without sounding (even more than right now) like a desperate pathetic twat.

yes yes message me - and i;ll make sure the table is booked to include you - just come along ffs, we drink wine and eat good food, talk bollocks and then usually two or three stagger on longer than is acceptable.

and the great thing is as its in the afternoon - no hangover the next day

Stiglet - if you seriously think something about you is putting people off, I can recommend getting a book on body language, and watching people's reactions to you as you interact with them.

I used to be totally socially inept - I suspect I'm borderline AS - and would say/do totally inappropriate things. It took years of watching myself and others like a hawk to spot that moment when I'd cross the line and see people getting turned off by me.

But, while I'll never be a social butterfly or hugely popular, I can hold my own in company now, and have some good friends.

Sorry if I missed your point totally and that wasn't remotely helpful.....

"How do I found out what it is that puts people off me without sounding (even more than right now) like a desperate pathetic twat"

Butting in again, apologies but I swear I could have written your posts. Please do feel free to PM me whenever you feel like that - (since I have a lot of experience in feeling like that I though I may be of some use that's all)

:)

Well I never thought myself as socially inept, but am starting to wonder if its a possibility. Just cant believe how lonely I am.

Thanks Bibiblocksberg, I have worked out how to PM people yet lol but thats very kind.

I mean havent

Go to the very top of this page/screen, click on Inbox and Private Messaging and you're away stiglet1980, hopefully should be simples :)

"and been told i come over as not wanting a relationship, stand offish as far as flirting/romance is concerned"

Ignore them, textfan - who are THEY telling you this anyway? Stand offish more than likely means 'not happy to put up with boring talk/crappy chat-up lines anyway I reckon.

to he right of every message there is message poster if you want to ram one in someones inbox

Cheers for the PMs, still feeling very low and can't get out of bed, I did join a dating site last night though

yes, please come down to Brighton for our meet!