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where the hell am i going wrong? HELP PLEASE?

16 replies

boilingpoint · 29/04/2011 22:29

I am really hoping someone can help me on this! i have posted in behaviour/development aswell but need as much response as possible! (sorry if i offend anyone by doing so)

My DD is 13 months (just) she has always seemed very bright and alert from birth, just lately things have been getting really really difficult with her;

  • she is throwing the most awful paddys - holding her breath going blue and passing out, this happens about 3 times in an hour over the smallest of things like if i take something off her she is not supposed to have she goes into total meltdown! i try to ignore them but she gets so worked up

-when given food she will have about 5 mouthfulls and decide she doesnt want any more - i have tried finger foods, and feeding her myself have tried all different variations of food but she just wont have it!
  • all she seems to do is whine, and make this horrible whingy noise for no reason!
  • she has always been a good sleeper but just lately she is waking up at all hours and then is tired all day so i try to give her naps as much as possible but she still seems to be tired!

-we cant seem to go out for the day anymore as she just crys and throws paddies no matter what.

I have spoken to my health visitor who says this is the behaviour of a 2/3 year old and there is not much i can do as she doesnt under stand things like the naughty step etc etc; surely someone else has experience with this?
OP posts:

LoopyLoopsNincompoop · 29/04/2011 22:31

Firstly, you are doing nothing wrong. This may just be a developmental stage, or it may be something physical. Have you had her hearing and sight checked? How long has this been going on for? Have you consulted your GP?


boilingpoint · 29/04/2011 22:36

well she was checked at birth, i wasnt to sure when i had to do that next and had a feeling they do that at school? is this something i should do?

she had a hernia when she was 8 weeks old and had surgery for it, i have checked her over and there are no signs of anything visably wrong

It started just after her 1st birthday (10th march)

I am going to try get in the docs next week but usually fail to get an appt with them they are pretty useless!

OP posts:

textfan · 29/04/2011 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

haudyerwheesht · 29/04/2011 22:39

I think I'd take her to the gp for a check first of all.

If everything is ok then I'm sorry but you just have to ride it out. It is hell though, ds was the same and held his breath until he passed out and he used to bang his head too.

The way I thought of it was that I couldn't change his behaviour as he was too little but I could change my attitude, I just decided to live each day as it came and didn't give attention for unwated behaviour. Go on days out just try and explain you understand she is angry / sad etc but you're just going to do something else until she is ready for a cuddle - just look at anything vaguely interesting (to a 13m old) - distraction often worked for ds.


Valpollicella · 29/04/2011 22:41

Interesting Textfan. Could be!

Although could just be the start of toddler style tantrums. Re the food issue, remember they can have far less of an appetite than we can imagine...

Sorry OP, but 'this too shall pass' might be worth remembering here :)

Please do get her checked for glue ear etc, and if it continues, do continue to speak to people here/HV, but DS was the same at that age...Confused


textfan · 29/04/2011 22:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

naturalbaby · 29/04/2011 22:54

my 20month old is going through a similar phase and is driving me up the wall. am going to look up glue ear now!
if it is terrible 2's, ds1 started early so i just assumed ds2 is starting early too, but 13months sounds a bit too early developmentally. the only think i do that helps them and me is lots of understanding, talking and cuddles.


hairfullofsnakes · 29/04/2011 22:56

I agree about get her checked by doc

Otherwise if all is well - welcome to the 'nightmare' age! Between 12 mths and 24 mths ish I find is pretty hard. They can't communicate what they want very well and want to test boundaries etc

Try reading some books like toddler taming and the baby whisperer for toddlers



sleeplessinderbyshire · 29/04/2011 22:59

sounds much like my dd and in fact every one of my friends DCs at that age. It is vile but iot will get better, ignore, laugh, have a large glass of vino and bedtime and repeat after me "this too shall pass"


SmethwickBelle · 29/04/2011 23:05

OK holding breath needs a GP or HV's advice - but I know it is not uncommon as a stress reaction.

I'd suggest she may be teething? Especially molars are a nightmare. It turns them off food, interrupts their sleep and makes them bloody miserable.

If you want to test the theory get some teething gel and try some calpol when she's truly miserable.


springydaffs · 30/04/2011 01:00

Bit horrified that the HV didn't suggest you get her checked out physically as a first step! GPs are usually good with giving LOs a quick appt - if not, change your GP. In fact, as the HV probably comes from that practice, then change GP practice anyway.

Hope it gets sorted soon OP - sounds very draining for you and her


Tortington · 30/04/2011 01:04

food - unless your kid had a medical disorder - kids will not starve themselves . if they dont eat - then leave them, chuck food in bin and wait til next meal

BUT BUIT BUT - ALL the mums i know who say they do that feed their kids shit inbetween meals and then complain that their kid wont eat]]WELL OFCOURSE the fucking kid wont eat at dinner if you have been giving them shit inbetween times - and you only feed them what they want - like yoghurt and biscuits or sommat - i mean why should they give into you mum? when they clearly have all the power


boilingpoint · 30/04/2011 09:52

thank you all for your replies.

Custardo, i think i may be guilty of this. when she doesnt eat at meal times i give her fruit/healthy biscuits inbetween meals as i worry she is still hungry!

Thanks for the glue ear info i will look it up and have a word with gp. and will get bully them into giving me an appt!

OP posts:

Royalcucumberchopper · 30/04/2011 09:57

My dd2, third dc is 14 months and you describe her to a t!! Huge paddies, rage and aggression for her own way.

She Makes me laugh!


gkys · 30/04/2011 10:02

get yourselves to baby signing or tiny talk, it reduces temper tantrums as she can learn to communicate with eachother,


ohnoshedittant · 30/04/2011 10:05

I'd go along with everyone else on the take her to the gp thing.

Food - five mouthfulls is better than nothing, maybe this is all she wants/needs. Most babies will need to snack in between meals. A piece of fruit mid-morning and mid-afternoon is fine, just stay away from filling her up with choc/sweets/bics. If she's a healthy weight I wouldn't worry too much.

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