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Moving out of London for a (hopefully better life for the dcs) and us?

50 replies

womanwholivedinashoe · 29/04/2011 21:43

hello Ladies,

I've already posted this once but now dh has stated that much as he would move to Norfolk with me for said better life he would prefer the South West of England. Any suggestions where is a nice place in the South West to bring up children and still be within 3 hours travelling time to get back to see family on a regular enough basis?? Were down in Cornwall recently looking back most rentals in nice areas are all holiday lets so renting seems to be really hard and much easier in Norfolk. Jobs also seem to be in better supply in Norfolk compared to the SW but please correct me if I'm wrong??

I have started a blog as I felt it more therapeutic to vent on there lol.

DH has said he will move with me wherever but if he likes one area and me another surely if will cause waves eventually??

Original post attached - need pros and cons really of both areas.

My husband was recently made redundant and we saw this as the ideal opportunity to search for the lifestyle that we've always wanted. We are seriously looking into Norfolk and I have 4 ds's 19 (& Autistic), 14, 8 and baby 6 months and need to know where might be best to bring up kids.
I'm a nurse so will be looking for work and hubby said he would do almost (lol) anything for work. We would prefer to live out of a large town, we like the seaside but not a large beach area more quieter resorts. But in the same respect love the countryside too, so generally just a nice area but facilities within a drive for the kids to not get too bored?
Can anyone help???
Many thanks wwlias

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coffeewhitenosugar · 29/04/2011 21:57

hi, totally recommend South Hams in Devon! Most fantastic place in the country - hospitals all around for your work, beaches and loads of all year attractions for the kids, great schools, lovely villages, small beaches as well as huge ones, happy, smiling , friendly people. we moved from London area a while ago and would never even consider looking back! Totally recommend it - lovely lovely place to live and bring up kids Grin


womanwholivedinashoe · 29/04/2011 22:06

Excellent thanks cwns, i'll google it now but from your description it sounds wonderful!

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DorisIsAPinkDragon · 29/04/2011 22:14

Funnily enough I'm in the south hams too, many nurses around here who commute to Derriford, Torbay or Exeter. (am a nurse too).

I love it here my family are all now in the highlands (scotland) and keep trying to persude me to move but I just love here too much...


DorisIsAPinkDragon · 29/04/2011 22:15

coffee where abouts are you?
I'm on the Plymouth side


hairylights · 29/04/2011 22:19

Not the question you asked so feel free to ignore, but have you considered
The effect on dcs being uprooted. Certainly at 14 this can be very traumatic and have long lasting effects. I know not the same for everyone, just because it was difficult for me.

I was moved at 14 - I found it very difficult to rebuild socially and it affected my education quite seriously.

I wish my parents had waited 2-4 years. At least I could have carried on through o levels in the same school.


jezebelle · 29/04/2011 22:23

North Norfolk is gorgeous, as is Norfolk/Suffolk border such as Southwold area. I live in Norfolk, its very relaxed and slower pace of life, i live next to the sea and wouldn't change it for the world :)


NoWayNoHow · 29/04/2011 22:33

If you're going SW, then I'd definitely stick with Devon rather than Cornwall - it's just that little bit closer to London. DH is from North Devon, and it's absolutely beautiful around there.


womanwholivedinashoe · 29/04/2011 22:40

Thanks ladies, good to know about where I can continue my nursing.

Hairylights not to be ignored at all and ds2 is so completely in my thoughts we have decided that we need to move by this summer and before he starts at year 10 or to wait the 2 years necessary for him to complete exams. Schooling will be a big one for me as he is doing so well with his schooling but we have a real issue with our housing ds1 wants to move back and of course I have ds4 recently born and we pay £1200 pcm now and its going up for a 3 bed. That combined with ds2 being unable to go out due to so many gangs by our local shops and staying in all the time on the xbox :(.
But I do take your point and his feeling will come into any decision we make.

Jezebelle have found it really hard to find decent places by the sea in Norfolk. Seeing a property on Tuesday in Marham, Acle, Thelveton and Wissett

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rockinhippy · 29/04/2011 22:48

Can't offer much other than friends of ours also moved down Plymouth, also Tinmouth, Paignton & Bovey Tracey, ALL of them love it wouldn't move back to London if paid (Boveys a bit of a 1 horse town though)

I can add, that as a Kid who was moved at 14, it can actually work out for the good, I was heartbroken to move, as was my Brother, & a shy kid that didn't socialise well, so hated the idea of leaving my friends & making new ones - it actually was the best thing that could of happened, it brought me out of my shell, opened up my eyes to the world at large & different ways of life, & I did very well at the new School & it did not affect me in any negative way at all Wink


womanwholivedinashoe · 29/04/2011 23:00

Thanks Rockinhippy for that, so worried as a mum that I might make the wrong decision.
DH loves Cornwall/Devon and Somerset areas as people say hello to him and he doesn't feel like a leper lol. But he doesn't have any knowledge of Norfolk so Tuesday will be his first visit. Wink

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jezebelle · 29/04/2011 23:02

Acle is just down the rd, very nice place and great as quite rural but 10 miles one way is the sea, and 10 miles the other way is city of Norwich :) Lots of other lovely villages around there. As for nursing, depends what sort but there are 2 hospitals very close, the Norfolk and Norwich and James Paget :)


puffling · 29/04/2011 23:11

I like some of the places round Bridport in Dorset.


needafootmassage · 30/04/2011 06:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onceamai · 30/04/2011 08:01

Surely, if this is about a better life for your children, first of all you identify a very good secondary school that has space for your child in Y10 and the location/property follow that.


JustCallMeGrouchy · 30/04/2011 08:10

Not realted to area.But i took very hard descin to move my dc away frm the small town they had alwyas lived in and Ds2 took it very hard at first and age 13 ended up in tears few times wanting to go back .

But now we been here 15 months and he said you know I would never move back to where we lived we did have chance recentley and discussed with ds1 and ds2 .Theres so much more here though we are rural were within walking distance of main road where regular buses are and then can get train to London in 30 mins his words and he thanked me for moving them as he loves the freedom and he enver realised just how bad things were where we used to live .Till he could see passsed the home sickness


womanwholivedinashoe · 30/04/2011 11:24

onceamai - its about a better life for all of us. My ds2 is in a very good secondary school now so the decision to move is very hard. But he is an extremely capable student and has always achieved good marks. However its about weighing up everything and if ds1 gets chased round the shops whilst he walks to his grandads house for not buying some girls some cigarettes and ds2 wouldn't even go near the shops i'd say its not worth it!
I'm not so blinkered that I don't think some bad things happen everywhere but we are the fastest growing borough in London and crime rates and gun crime in the area are up. So we are moving, phew and I was still torn between making the decision before I wrote that sentence.
But if it was just about his schooling we'd stay put!!
So its all of us that have to come into the equation, we are looking into all the schools for which people say are nice areas for kids to live in, then we are looking at what areas offer the best possibilities for work for us too and well as giving us a good home / life balance.
Thank you JCMG it is really hard :( and has caused me sooooooooo much heartache but I do know that it will be the best decision to move us out. If not this summer then in 2 years.

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LadyThumb · 30/04/2011 11:36

I live in North Devon. Just bear in mind that, although beautiful, you are very rural. There is a main hospital at Barnstaple, then nothing for 50 miles until you get to Exeter. Apart from Barnstaple and Bideford again there is not much for youngsters.

But the surfing is fantastic!!


stickylittlefingers · 30/04/2011 11:41

I grew up near Barnstaple! If you are a certain "sort" there isn't a lot for teenagers to do, and there was a fair amount of drink and drugs to pass the time.

But if you are an outdoorsy type, it's brilliant! I pretty much lived out of doors, lots of scope for hiking, camping etc. I still miss the scenery of Exmoor, it's beautiful.


stickylittlefingers · 30/04/2011 11:51

As others have said, the links from Exeter to London are pretty good. The North Devon link road did make ND less remote than before - my Mum and Dad would drive up to Tiverton Parkway to get me from the train there, which was a huge time saving over going down to Exeter and coming back on the little puffer to Barnstaple (beautiful line though).

If you live somewhere remote and rural, you have to appreciate that and acknowledge that you're not going to be at the centre of things. I hate it on the property programmes when people say "oh we love it here, it's so quiet", when they're planning to commute with their cars. Not so quiet any more then Biscuit


womanwholivedinashoe · 30/04/2011 11:58

lol, not outdoorsy but would like to be if that counts.

I agree with you SLF about property programmes, did even consider moving to Holland to ride everywhere on bikes. DH mad on bikes and has been riding for years and is keen to get me and Ds's involved too.

I do also know what you mean because you weigh up not having a chai in starbucks with friends but you also realise that you are entering a new life and I can make a fab chai for anyone that wants to visit lol

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stickylittlefingers · 30/04/2011 12:08

Exactly! That's the spirit (cheaper too :))

Much more freedom for kids to go out and play and get mucky, cycle on quiet roads. Do they enjoy farm activity-type days out? If you live in the country, chances are you'll have farming friends and those "activities" will be for real... helping out with lambing is bloody tiring magical, for instance. Harvesting is hard slog, but the best feeling at the end of the day, being properly physically tired. Good for working out teenage angst!!

Were you planning on a bit of a "Good life", or just living somewhere more rural? My parents did the good life - again, not for everybody as there wasnt much cash etc, but it suited me and DB.


DorcasBouvier · 30/04/2011 12:30

We moved from the Midlands to North Devon nearly 6 years ago and I can honestly say, it's the best thing we ever did. I think it's a wonderful place for children to grow up. DS is 8 and loves living here ~ there's plenty of things to do here that he wouldn't have got to do if we'd stayed where we were. Beautiful walks, crabbing on the harbour, barbecues on the beach after school in summer. It feels like we're on holiday most of the time. DP and I both work from home though, so not really sure what it's like trying to get a job around here.


MotherSnacker · 30/04/2011 12:35

Cornwall and Plymouth, very hard to find a job.


prettyfly1 · 30/04/2011 12:37

south hams SUPER EXPENSIVE (lived there for a long time) but utterly gorgeous. What about east sussex way - just came back from rye and seemed really pleasant?


womanwholivedinashoe · 30/04/2011 16:04

We'd love to just do the 'good life' and try and make a couple of beans in a market stall perhaps. DH will stay down in London 3 nights a week working until we/I can find employment.

You all seem to be so positive about North Devon i'll have to start looking at possible locations / property / schools around there too.

Thank you ladies for all this info, priceless!!

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