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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this present was inappropriate

24 replies

StatelyPoshBeartrothal · 29/04/2011 12:35

DS was 4 recently and was given a realistic looking rifle, complete with bullets (or whatever they're called). He of course loves it - I was a bit Shock, and even DH (who in general is supportive of him playing with swords and guns) said it was a bit too violent.
Should I actually hide it and hope he forgets, or just let him play?
I don't mind fantasy violence (we got him a light saber for his last birthday) but this is a bit too much!

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfTheNight · 29/04/2011 12:54

Well, it is 'appropriate' if you buy into all that 'boys toys' 'girls toys' shit.

I don't like weapons as toys when the game is to shoot and pretend to kill, I think the whole idea is awful.

I never allowed mine to have toy weapons. Even used to open the horrible action men toys they kept being given and took out the weapons. Never let them know anything about weapons.

And then one day I walked into the living room and found them sword fighting with straws. Hmm and I pretty much gave up at that point Grin

Now they've got water pistols, bow and arrows and crappy plastic rifle shit - including one that fires 'bullets' with suckers on the end that stick to a target board that came with it. They can 'shoot' at the targets but they are not allowed to aim at a person.

They never play with any of it.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 29/04/2011 12:56

oh. my actual point - buy him a target. Make it that the idea is to shoot targets. don't allow shooting at actual people.

It'll probably get stuck in a drawer in a couple of months, never to see the light of day again.

activate · 29/04/2011 12:57

I don't have the slightest issue with children playing with toy guns. When we were kids we played Cowboys and Indians and Cops and Robbers a lot - we had cap guns that made the best noise

It's a peculiarly modern parenting phenomenum thinking that role playing and dress up leads to violence really

jubilee10 · 29/04/2011 13:00

Mine have light sabers, water pistols etc. but not guns. I really don't like them and the dc's know that. I would explain to him why you don't want him to have it and remove it. I would ask him what toy he would like to replace it. I would also speak to whoever gave it to him.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 29/04/2011 13:02

oh, I remember caps. I bloody loved them!

squeakytoy · 29/04/2011 13:04

I completely agree with you Activate.

We had toy guns, cap guns, and all manner of weapons as kids. Not a single one of us has gone on to shoot anyone or anything in real life.

Playing dead, shooting to kill, is all part of make believe play when you are a child. It is completely harmless.

Original poster
StatelyPoshBeartrothal · 29/04/2011 13:07

I don';t have a problem with toy guns, he has a number of toy guns - a spiderman one etc. But you'd have to see this one - it looks like a replica to me!
Yes Hecate I have already told him to fire it into the air not at people. SPiderman gun not an issue as we pretend that fires a web that covers the other person.

OP posts:
Original poster
StatelyPoshBeartrothal · 29/04/2011 13:08

think it's like this one
but without the orange thing at the end

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfTheNight · 29/04/2011 13:23

oh wow.

well, does it fire with enough force to knock down skittles or something?

I just think that we run the risk of making these things so attractive the more we forbid them. It makes it something delicious to them, iyswim.

Or maybe that's just my lot Grin

bochead · 29/04/2011 13:26

where do you live? If in the inner city don't let him play with it in the garden - kids & armed response teams are not a good mix.

Original poster
StatelyPoshBeartrothal · 29/04/2011 13:38

No, not in a city :o
Glad you are both a bit shocked too
Don't think it fires as such (or maybe DH just hasn't loaded it) but it flashed liught from the end and recoils Hmm
I wouldn't forbid it, just put it somewhere he can't get to it and be vague if he ever asks for it - he still has the attention span of a toddler :o

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Soups · 29/04/2011 15:24

Wow, that is a bit full on, I was expecting a rifle or shot gun.

I used to play with guns as a child, and have little problem with my kids playing shooting games. Don't think I'd buy them one like that, even though they'd love it. Tempted for myself Grin

Original poster
StatelyPoshBeartrothal · 29/04/2011 15:25

Yes and he is only 4. He still watches postman pat and timmy time!

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FreudianSlipOnACrown · 29/04/2011 15:36

There's no way I'd let my 4yo have something that was such a close replica of a gun. YANBU.

FreudianSlipOnACrown · 29/04/2011 15:37

And I love your namechange btw [cgrin]

MollyMurphy · 29/04/2011 15:40

YANBU - I wouldn't be happy about the gift....but its tricky what to do now its arrived.

Adair · 29/04/2011 15:51

Thing about guns is, the only purpose of them is for killing. Struggling to see how that is a good game. I don't think I'd be comfortable with one in the house.

Original poster
StatelyPoshBeartrothal · 29/04/2011 15:52

oh dear :( Maybe will try to hide it and see whther he mentions it
He definitely enjoys playing with this sort of thing, but inncoently IMO - we have his spider gun which we pretend shoots webs, he has a light saber which he enjous swooshing round, a wooden sword which he isn't allowed as he takes chunks out of the walls with it, and a fort and toy soldiers who spend their times discussing where they should go shopping, and telling each other off for climbing on the fort walls as they will fall

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TheRightRoyalEduStudent · 29/04/2011 18:38

Bloody hell, I'm normally undecided on the gun-play thing, but that...well. It's a bit different from a water pistol or a Spiderman gun.

In this case, I would def say YANBU.

Indith · 29/04/2011 18:49

Gosh that is a bit full on isn't it!

I wouldn't be happy if ds was given one (I'm not happy with his huge wooden sword either but more because dd gets hold of it and wallops him Grin). There is definitely something about boys and gun/sword play and that is fine. Ds is always picking up sticks and pretending they are guns, making shooting noises, killing imaginary targets (There was a pirate mummy and I deaded it!) and I love that, nothing wrong with it so long as it is balanced with teaching respect for the world around us but I would feel uncomfortable and such a full on, realistic gun at an early age.

Original poster
StatelyPoshBeartrothal · 29/04/2011 19:00

Glad most people seem to agree and I am not over reacting.
Think I will lose it in a cupboard somewhere, and let him have it when he is 32.
Present giver was "fun aunty" - wonderful aunty and god mum, usually gets brilliant presents, but def gets presents DCs will like rather than ones parents will approve of :o Last one was a "create your own snot" science kit - my DCs do not need one of those! Sure it was just a misjudgement.

Just been to have a look, and to add to the appeal it also has a retractable, realistic looking (IMO) bayonet [cshock]

OP posts:
mitochondria · 29/04/2011 19:29

Never go to Blackgang Chine on the IOW. It is apparently compulsory to buy cap guns and rampage around the cowboy village shooting each other. Boys loved it.

The one in your link is a bit scary - looks like a proper machine gun!

Can I be nosy and ask who bought it for him?

mitochondria · 29/04/2011 19:30

Sorry, cross posted.

I think "fun aunty" misjudged, and gun should be put in attic.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 29/04/2011 21:37

If for christmas, she buys him a drum kit, you will know for certain that she hates you.
Grin

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