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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feeling like a brood mare...

24 replies

MrsShanners · 28/04/2011 23:23

Today... I went along for my booking appointment (I am 10w &1) - which i have been exceptionally excited for until...

I read in a pregnancy book or guide that the midewife will weigh you, measure you, check you bloods, urine, breasts, legs... etc etc...

OH MY GOD!!!!!

I honestly feel like a cow being led round a ring in a cattle market!!

Whilst i fully appreciate the need to cover all matters to ensure a healthy pregnancy and therefore baby... It's honestly all a bit too intrusive. The questions that were covered all seem just too much.

I must also add - that I am not shy and would be willing to have such an inspection carried out - it is the manner in which this is expected.

I actually became quite distressed during the booking in appointment (hormones possibly?) and went on to voice my concern.

I also understand that there are people who may not realise that their breasts or legs are presenting with issues that may cause a future problem. But I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person who can be the judge of that....

Sorry for the rant... but I would love to hear other people's experiences and/or points of view...

Mrs S x

OP posts:

nailak · 28/04/2011 23:29

i dont understand, what questions were too much? and what distressed you and what did you say? what were the problems with breasts and les? noone ever inspected mine?

CocktailQueen · 28/04/2011 23:29

Check your breasts and legs???!! Have never had that at a booking in appt. MW has never expressed an interest in either [cwink]

Does sound very odd. You must have v thorough mws.

Sassybeast · 28/04/2011 23:31

YABU - it's not an ideal system and some midwives are lacking in interpersonal skills, but at the end of the day, the aim is to maximise your chances of a healthy pregnancy. All of the tests and checks are looking at specific risks, and the links between maternal weight, BMI etc are well documented.
Have you considered private midwifery care?

worraliberty · 28/04/2011 23:32

I hate to be the first to say it but once you've given birth, dignity will become a distant memory

But what do I know anyway...I read the thread title as 'Feeling like Broadmoor'

pinkmagic1 · 28/04/2011 23:33

Never had breasts or legs checked either, very strange!

millie30 · 28/04/2011 23:36

I didn't have breasts or legs checked either. Just blood tests and general questions about medical history, nothing bad.

DeSelby · 28/04/2011 23:36

I'm on my second pregnancy and no midwife has ever measured my breasts or legs! Where did you hear that?

Original poster

MrsShanners · 28/04/2011 23:36

It's all new to me... I was just excited...

Questions include full mental health history, physical health (fair enough), husband history etc etc... I cannot remember everything... I was particularly shocked by the legs and breasts business... Even though I understand why they ask. (But in my head I was screaming - 'are ya having a laugh!!')

It was more the manner in which it was carried out... "Next please" kind of thing...

I am a nurse myself and patient centred care is the name of the game these days and that is not what I received today.

I think the level of distress was perhaps my hormones and the fact that at the best of times i am not a great patient... but then of course the manner in which it was conducted....

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsShanners · 28/04/2011 23:39

I will have to look it up again... in some book. I have read loads already...

Honest - it's not about dignity... i am really fine with people checking my breasts / bits or whatever...

I think my frustration was about the lack of patient centred care.

OP posts:

hairylights · 28/04/2011 23:40

We were asked if we were related on the form.

Im pretty sure you don't actually have to answer or consent to any of it.

Sassybeast · 28/04/2011 23:41

So you din't actually have a physical examination ? They just asked you about things like varicose veins, history of DVT, any breast problems, history of cancer or breat surgery....And hubbys history is relevant in terms of genetic/hereditary screening..
I do think that you being a nurse is the key though - YOU know that if you had a DVT etc in the past that you'd automatically flag it up but not everyone else has the same knowledge.
And nurses are hyper critical of other HCPs - it's the law
Good luck with it all though - it is all very exciting

Sassybeast · 28/04/2011 23:42

And re the breast exam - it's standard in some other countries but NICE guidelines don't recommend it as routine.

nijinsky · 29/04/2011 00:46

LOL at checking your legs - I can understand your broodmare comment!

Original poster

MrsShanners · 30/04/2011 20:02

Lol... I think you are right Sassybeast... I an absolutely apalling patient!!!

Though feeling much better now - i have spoken about it...

Thanks all... It is sooo exciting!!!

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 30/04/2011 20:04

You have only read it in a book. Stop worrying and enjoy being pregnant!

discobeaver · 30/04/2011 20:09

Did they say they would check your teeth? See if they needed a good rasp, and your hooves?

It won't be nearly as bad as you think!

sprinkles77 · 30/04/2011 20:29

OP: welcome to your obstetric care, where unless you clearly demand otherwise, you will be treated as a very valuable broodmare, carrying a potential Grand Prix winner. Just be grateful if you were lucky enough to get pg the traditional way rather than with frozen sperm from an international stud!!!!! Seriously, don't have anything done that you feel, after some research, is unnecessarily intrusive. I used to have an eating disorder and decided that I really could not be weighed during my pregnancy. I refused and that was accepted by the MWs.

pixiestix · 30/04/2011 20:36

I was quite overweight at the beginning of my pregnancy and expected to be weighed and lectured and made to feel thoroughly guilty. In the end I was asked once how much I weighed, it was noted down without actually being verified by a set of scales and never mentioned again! I think care differs widely from area to area.
Enjoy your pregnancy OP, it is such an exciting time

BaldricksTurnip · 30/04/2011 21:31

I am currently pg with DC3 and have never had either my breasts or legs checked at any point in either of my pregnancies.. What on earth were they checked for?? I feel like I've missed out! [Looks expectantly at breasts and legs in horrified fascination]

BaldricksTurnip · 30/04/2011 21:33

*either of my past two or current pregnancy

kickingking · 30/04/2011 21:39

I am totally confused. My pregnancy was classed as 'high risk' due to pre-exsisting medical condition. I was weighed at my booking-in appointment (they were possibly concerned that I was underweight as I'm very slim - I'm not though :) = other people have said they were never weighed) They took my word for how tall I am. I was never weighed again. Nobody has ever checked my breast or legs!

They checked my blood pressure every time they saw me (related to the high-risk bit) no idea how often they do it for 'normal' people.

Never even had an internal as DC born by elcs.

Think your book is very out of date!

Yellowstone · 01/05/2011 01:14

OP I've had a baby in each of Kentucky, California, Oxford, Germany and another four in Dorset. I was high risk for the last seven. Pretty cursory checks on the whole and no-one ever checked boobs but they really liked looking at my ankles, I think to see they weren't puffy (which they never were). Blood pressure and weight each time and the standard blood tests and scans. Patient centred? Well, mostly people were really nice to me....

doley · 01/05/2011 01:32

I had my 3rd in the US .

They checked my breasts (for lumps ) and carried out a smear ...no previous reasons ...just the way it is done here I guess ?

Oh ,and all the regular check -up things B/P ,weighing ...

sterrryerryoh · 01/05/2011 07:41

Op, your post made me laugh. Congratulations and enjoy your pregnancy. And re: the intrusion. Be very glad you haven't had ivf or gone through adoption :)

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