To take my 2 children to an appointment at the fertility clinic?

[ilikeyoursleeves]

I have an appointment at a fertility clinic at a hospital next week, to discuss what we want to do regarding our frozen embryos. Ds1 was conceived 4 years ago from ivf, then ds2 came along after as a natural miracle. We were lucky enough to get frozen embryos from the original ivf so we need to decide whether we want to try a frozen transfer or let the embryos 'perish'.

Dh can't come to the appointment due to work, so i'd have to go myself. And as childcare is an issue, i'd need to take the boys with me, I think anyway! But I remember feeling a bit uncomfortable seeing kids with people at the clinic, like it was rubbing it in my face that they had kids & I didn't? On the other hand, I also found it to be quite hopeful though, that the ivf could work like it had for those people.

So I'm in a dilemma, what would you do?

From the other point of view (as the person who may well be seeing you) small kids are very distracting in consultations - there are important issues you need to concentrate on. Also your DH may well need to be there - if there are consent forms or extension of storage forms to sign you both need to sign them. I'd reschedule if you can.

I've taken mine before when needs must - having ovulation tracking meant going in every two days - more sometimes. With no family - I had to

If you have a choice, please don't. After us doing infertility as a couple I then had cervical cancer. It's just bloody grim the way my post cancer checkups were via the maternity unit - used to leave me in shreds. We used to have to go through this huge maternity unit and then there'd be this apologetic little sign for the Gynae-Oncology clinic. No balloons there.

Also, as others have said, how on earth are you going to concentrate on what's being said? If there is any way you can get alternative childcare that day, please take it.

You are going to an appointment to discuss the future of your embryos and your husband isn't coming too? Youre serious?

bemybebe - I would have taken my business from your clinic and gone somewhere else; there is no way that I could have dealt with seeing scores of happy parents with babies every time that I went for treatment. Just because you liked it, it doesn't mean that everyone else has to - and most women on this thread would find it very upsetting, so there is a good chance that the OP will meet one of those women at her clinic.

But as I said, I also think that it's a bad idea for the OP to have such an important conversation (life-or-death really) without her DH there, and in a situation where it will be literally impossible to cocentrate.

in leeds the assisted conception unit was next door to delivery - doors adjacent

I had fertility treatment and as I came out of delivering DS i met my fertility nurses both of them together. they were delighted and said that NEVER happened and made a real fuss but i will always think it very odd

I didn't have a problem with it when I was sat in the clinic waiting rooms, saw it a few times.
Agree it could be a tricky meeting without DH and with children there but figure the pair of you have discussed this a lot already and he'll have to go there at some point to sign in person anyway to agree to what ever you choose to do.

Thanks for responses. Dh & I have obviously discussed this a lot & tbh are really using the appointment to ask how a fet works there, ie timescales etc. We are thinking of ttc naturally over summer but want to know when preparation for a fet would have to start. So we aren't thinking the appointment would be for someone else to make our decisions for us. I am going to try to get mil to watch the dc's as I agree now that taking the boys would be inappropriate as I wouldn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable there.