to be on the verge of killing "D"H in relation to his bloody bollocking car

[Honeybee79]

It is the last week of DH's Easter holiday (he's a teacher). He agreed we would try to do as much fun stuff together with DS (6 months) as possible as I am due back at work from maternity leave before too long.

We have done nothing and DH has spent all week working on his car. I cannot remember the last time he changed a nappy this week or did a feed.

The car is 35 years old and has a broken head gasket. It is only worth scrap. However, I suggested that, if it meant so much to him, then we'd just pay a garage to do it (about £400) as I would rather enjoy our time off together. He refused. He isn't a mechanic but was adamant that he would do it himself. The other reason why I think he's being utterly unreasonable is that I have just taken some refresher driving lessons (not driven for 10 years) and am about to buy a car. I'm not happy driving DH's because it is so big, old and heavy. And only 3 doors. It has no power steering and is so hard to park. So is suggested we scrap it and just get a second hand (but relatively new) car that we're both happy with. He refused.

He is working on it right now and will continue to until there is no light. He will also work on it tomorrow and I've had to cancel the plans we had to have friends over for royal wedding beer/pizza etc.

I know this is all relatively minor and it's not like he's off shagging prostitutes or anything but I am feeling pretty annoyed and hurt.

I should add that we aren't dependant on having a car at the moment but will be when DS goes to nursery in a month or so.

So, AIBU?

Would be very sorely tempted to park the sodding car on his head.

No, YANBU. When you have a child life changes and sacrifices have to be made. Okay if it's a hobby for him but he has to a) make room in his schedule for you and DS and b) have a car that's practical and sensible!!

Quite. I don't mind if it's just occasionally but this is bloody insane. The car is worthless. Am so tempted to creep out at night and torch it.

Our car is in bits on the drive...been there since August when it broke down on the M25 and was brought back on a tow truck!
It is only worth about £1000, Dh has spent hours rebuilding the engine, trawling Ebay for injectors, convectors, dicktectors or whatever.
He has announced that he is going to try to start it at the weekend. There is no guarantee that it will ever start again but he has high hopes of selling it and buying something smaller, i don't know how much he has already spent on it.
Once that is done it will be summer and time to be washing, polishing, vacumming, stroking his 1966 classic car.
YANBU but since my dh saves us money servicing our cars I can't complain too much.

Head gasket is a 2 person job.

He's just being stubborn if he's going to stay out all night trying to do it himself!

YANBU, agree with blackbird. You need a sensible car that you are happy to drive, and if he wants this to be his hobby then it's something different. He needs to acknowledge it as an intrest instead of trying to make out he is doing something wonderful for his family by fixing up a car that you don't even want. Then he needs to make sure his new hobby doesn't take up all of your family time.

LaWeasel, yes, I though head gasket was a pretty big job. He had a mate helping yesterday and no one today. Surely it is also a job for a competent mechanic?

What sort of car is it?

I am a car widow a great deal of the time so I totally sympathise!

OH has greatly cut down on car playing time since our 2 DCs arrived but there are times I could quite cheerfully 'accidently' kick the jack.......

Oh dear lord. I asked what kind of car it was. This is what happens whe you are married to a mad rallyist petrol head.

I need therapy!

Ha honeybee you're not secretly married to my dh are you on no can't be same man as mine spends all his time working on ours!! It's not a landrover by any chance?!? I am hoping ours starts tonight otherwise it's going to be on the way for the party tomorrow - my dh has just replaced the engine ( oh it will only take a weekend and that was 6 weeks ago!)
We have 2 children dd is 5 and ds is 5 months so I feel your pain!

YANBU.

Although I don't really see why you HAD to cancel your RW party plans just because he won't be there? Couldn't you do it anyway?

My DH is on a weeks holiday and he's also been out doing the car most of it, it does bother me a bit that he's stuck out there, but I'd rather he spent the time on it than pay out the cash we can't afford.

Plus he really gets something out of doing it himself, I don't drive and can't stand anything car related but it's good if he wants to do something he enjoys.

I can't see why you've had to cancel your plans either.

I only know head gasket is a 2 person job because my dad and DH had to change ours... TWICE. (fucking rovers) But, my dad is very experienced at this kind of thing, and DH very up on the theory otherwise there is no way I'd've let them anywhere near it.

And it still took ages.

But we needed to save the money... if you don't, I have no idea why you'd do it yourself!

Have your party anyway! It'll be fine, and you'll only sit and stew if he's still got his head under the engine...