cheers all 
Nullius - There is a hell of a lot else going on here! We stepped up our requests for help a year ago but he has had problems since, well, forever, poor boy.
Attachment disorder is rarely diagnosed and even if it is there is no official 'way to help', it's the least understood disorder around.
He has had various forms of support and some counselling but none was continued for reasons i am too exasperated to go into in depth.
A year ago he moved back in after a couple of months attempting to live with his Mum, he was back very quickly after being expelled from school. A disastrous few months in one respect but it made him see the grass isn't greener and he has accepted and seen his Mum for what she really is (A heroin addict who cannot be his parent right now). It was a hard lesson to learn and in some ways has helped him but acceptance is a hard thing.
He certainly needs loads of support and I have been writing and phoning, begging and pleading, to anyone who I can get hold of for a year now (8 May 6pm he moved back in, I made the first phone call the next morning at 8am!). But unfortunately, although everyone is very pleasant x can't act without y paperwork, I can't get y paperwork without a referral from z, z wont see us without us seeing x first. You get the idea.
I fought for a statement (which had been refused before) and then fought for a special school. Both with a ton of help from MN! He's been at the school since December and it's the best decision we made, he's so much happier there and while he might not achieve as much academically as we had once hoped, I hope that he will leave there a more rounded, socially capable person.
He's a lovely lad, volunteers with disabled children, loves to help old people with their shopping, wants to join the army and I'm immensely proud of him a lot of the time.
It's such a shame he cannot cope with the crap life he's been dealt 
But hopefully good will come of this and he'll get the help he needs.