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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in not letting my child six and four play out?

56 replies

gkys · 28/04/2011 13:27

i was visiting a friend over the bank holiday, her boys the same age. were playing with a friend down the road, ok its a quiet cul de sac, (and i am guilty of being a bit precious about the boys) i let them out there while dh was watching, but called them in when he came inside, or rather he did.
my friend implied that i was somehow impeeding the boys development, her arguement being that theey have to learn to be streetwise. I diagree, thinking that they are too young have no road sense. the boys offen visit after school etc aibu to state that i don't want them playing in the street?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 28/04/2011 13:30

It's up to you isn't it?

Depends on the kids and the area. If you're comfortable with it, I'm sure they'll love it and it'll make for a Happier Summer.

icooksocks · 28/04/2011 13:30

My two elder dc's (6.6 and 2.10) play out on our cul-de-sac at any opportunity. I live in the middle of nowhere, and the residents on the street know to be careful of children.

Depends on how busy her cul-de-sac is on wether or not YABU.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 28/04/2011 13:31

YANBU - My son is 8 and I dont let him play out.

Obv your kids, your call, bu I reckon that they are too young, and def the 4 year old. Does depend on area though and you need to be happy with whatever you decide xx

SocialButterfly · 28/04/2011 13:33

My girls are 6 and 4 and I let them play out, there are rules but I do think its good for them to be a bit independant.

Its up to you though, if you are happy with your decision then YANBU

Geocentric · 28/04/2011 13:37

When my kids were 6 and 4 I didn't let them play in the garden on their own...

Oakmaiden · 28/04/2011 13:37

Personally I think 4 is a bit little to be playing out unsupervised. I would consider it for a six year old, depending who they were playing with and how sensible the particular child is. And how much traffic there was likely to be.

Original poster
gkys · 28/04/2011 13:37

i don't let them out at home, we have a great garden, and the road is too busy, but my friends house is on a quiet cds, people aware of children etc, all the what ifs just rush through my head,

OP posts:
nepenthe3 · 28/04/2011 13:40

YANBU, I wouldn't either. People around where I live drive like inconsiderate tossers, even in residential areas. I'm a bit precious about this sort of thing too, and I was very much a 'free-range' child, but things have changed dramatically in terms of the numbers of cars on the road. There are other ways to give your DCs freedom, and to teach them to be streetwise. It's also about when you feel is appropriate age. Trust your own parenting instincts and leave her to her own. Both sets of children will all grow into independent adults who can cross roads eventually.

expatinscotland · 28/04/2011 13:40

YANBU. Too young, IMO.

HarrietSchulenberg · 28/04/2011 13:42

6 OK in quiet cul-de-sac, 4 no unless supervised or in enclosed garden.

worraliberty · 28/04/2011 13:46

When my kids were 6 and 4 I didn't let them play in the garden on their own

Why not Geocentric?

NulliusInVerba · 28/04/2011 13:49

YANBU.

Some might live in very very quiet areas and think this is ok for their children, but for the majority it is not ok, they are far too young.

Round my area I get quite annoyed seeing 6 year olds out, on theri own all day, and calling for my child at 8pm. Not on.

SocialButterfly · 28/04/2011 13:51

When I saw my two play out they play in the front garden and ride bikes on thr pavement around our house, they are not roaming the streets all day, barefoot and dirty.

SocialButterfly · 28/04/2011 13:51

say not saw

worraliberty · 28/04/2011 13:52

I wouldn't say for the majority...I think age six is fairly 50/50 on MN depending on area.

icooksocks · 28/04/2011 13:55

Nope neither are mine SocialButterfly. And mine aren't own their own, there will be always at least two other children off the close with them. Oh and mine are in and in their PJ's by 7pm. They are allowed out-it doesn't mean they are feral.

puddingface · 28/04/2011 13:58

do they play in the garden?

FabbyChic · 28/04/2011 14:00

ha my son is 17, I wouldn't let him play out until he was 10.

cruelladepoppins · 28/04/2011 14:01

worraliberty - I wouldn't let 4 and 6 play in my garden unsupervised, although 6 and 8 I would.

My own reasons were:

  • garden too big for me to know what's going on (i.e. I can't see all of it from the house);
  • surrounded by woods and fields, you don't know who is passing (and yes there has been the occasional nutter/ ne'er-do-well);
  • sometimes people's dogs jump over the fence into the garden - I have had chickens killed by dogs so I'm not going to trust small children out there.
puddingface · 28/04/2011 14:02

i for one find it terribly sad that kids are not out enjoying this sunshine :(

worraliberty · 28/04/2011 14:05

Ahh that makes sense cruella

That's what I mean...everyone's situation, area and children are all different.

Parents just have to do what they feel is right.

bruffin · 28/04/2011 14:05

We live in a quiet culdesac and the dcs play out from about 4.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 28/04/2011 14:06

At their age in a quiet cul-de-sac with friends, yes, I would let them play out.

Geocentric · 28/04/2011 14:58

Worraliberty, big garden not properly visible from house with deep swimming pool and deep pond...

jellybeans · 28/04/2011 15:01

YANBU at all. I hate seeing little kids playing out, unless it is a very quiet road and they are watched or in a big group. I didn't let mine play out at the front till 9 and I am not unusual, most of my friends don't either. I let them go off on cub camps aged 7 so it isn't that i am stupidly over protective, I just think they need to be older to have road sense etc. Once you let them out they are constantly wanting to do it as well. I would wait till you feel right. plenty of people (majority I think you will find) would not let kids out in the streets that age.

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