Now MIL's at it....

[OohIsThatAFlake]

My PILs are lovely people (if a little overbearing at times) and are very much in the 'leave the babies asleep upstairs while we get roaring drunk party downstairs' style of parenting.
Last month FIL made an inappropriate comment about getting to play with my baby daughter 'not sexually, of course!' then called her a tart and a prossie (!) when we were all out for a meal with my parents too.
I've just picked her up from MIL who started going on about her sexy legs in sexy hold-ups. Baby's woolly tights were falling down.

I find all this a bit creepy and do not like it!

So, go on then, am I?

Limit unsupervised time. Really? Yea it's not nice, but isn't it up there with tactless/stupid/sexist comments?? What I mean by this is that it's unpleasant, but like my MIL saying 'coloured' in regard to black people, it just stupid. It doesn't make people an automatic risk.

If the behaviour they use is overly sexual then that's different, but honestly, have a think about whether it's actually harmful or just words.

Dear God. A prossie!!

I can kind of get my head round "ooh she's a little tart" no. Actually no I can't get my head round that either it is AWFUL

AWFUL

Eww, it's horrible and creepy.

If it was me I'd probably say something along the lines of "I find your comments inappropriate and offensive. If you continue to say these things about my daughter, then I'm afraid I won't be allowing you to see her again".

Say I'm overreacting or being sensitive all you like, but sexy is not the right term of phrase for a small child.

My dad is the sort who says innappropriate things. I once pointed out that his flies were undone and he said "trust you to notice" (!)

"Last month FIL made an inappropriate comment about getting to play with my baby daughter 'not sexually, of course!' then called her a tart and a prossie (!) when we were all out for a meal with my parents too. "

This is more than 'a bit creepy'. Personally (and I'm not sensationalising this or being a paedo crazy person) I would not be happy with my DC being around anyone that did this.

It's completely and utterly inappropriate.

It is creepy.

You need to have a standard line that you use until they get the message - "making sexual remarks about a baby is disturbing and totally inappropriate." If they think you are over sensitive I think you're right to question how much you trust their judgement in terms of caring for her.

OohIsthataFlake,

Not unfortunately all that surprised to read that the PILs can be overbearing as well. My guess is that these two have always been difficult.

Re your comment:-
"Both DH and I do say something to them (admittedly, I am more vociferous than DH) but it tends to get glossed over like this mornings 'oh, well, whatever...' or DH is told by MIL not to be so sensitive".

All of the above is worrying, particularly the last part. MIL does know but is downplaying it - why is this?. Your DH should not be makign excuses for such people.

"DH is a very lovely very non-confrontational man so most often he'll try to excuse it by saying his parents are just getting old".

Age is no excuse for such crude comments.

Your DH needs to get his head out of the sand here re his parents (however, a lifetime of such conditioning at his parents hands can make this very difficult to achieve) and become more vociferous in his responses. This is his DD that they are discussing here and his primary loyalty should now be to you and your family unit, not his parents out of some now misguided loyalty.

Would not leave DD unsupervised with these two people.

thats just awful, you need to confront, its so out of order.Totally inappropriate.Just think how worse it will be when you dd has a level of understanding or starts to repeat.Its all wrong.