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to not care if a dog "won't bite"?

71 replies

create · 27/04/2011 16:25

DS1 is scared of dogs. It started when he was 3, we were at the park and a young boxer bounded out of the woods, but his paws on DS1's shoulders, knocked him over and had him pinned to the ground while the dog licked DS1's face. DS1 wasn't hurt and indeed the dog didn't bite, but it must be quite scary to be trapped by an animal larger than you. The owner did put the dog on a lead, but wasn't appologetic, as he was "just a puppy"

Anyway, DS1's not as bad as he was now he's getting older but he doesn't like dogs coming up to him and especially not jumping up at him. If a dog can't be trained not to approach strange children shouldn't it be on a lead?

I've lost count of the number of time we've been told " don't worry he won't hurt you" as if it's DS1 who's weird when their dog is sniffing aound his picnic (or shoes etc).

OP posts:
Crawling · 27/04/2011 17:23

Firstly I had a phobia of dogs I was mauled by a dog as a child and would have died had I not been round the corner from hospital, my mum made things worse by refusing me contact with dogs and pandering tomy fear to the point where I couldnt leave the house without having panic attacks and missed my last year of school because I was under a pychiatrist there was no problem with me not going to woods which dogs were let off lead I was too scared to whether I had a right or not.

Now we have a Labrador after seeing that my fear was endangering my DS life as he would scream and cry and this would make dogs run up to him and much more likelyto get bitten or slobberedon or jumped up on so I got a dog to protect him by helping him get over his fear and learn how to behave round dogs so he wont get bitten my mumcould have saved me so much pain and heartache if she hadnt stopped me going near dogs.

Our lab is in teenage years so recall not 100% he comes back when called unless someone is jumping round arms waving and screaming. We dont take him to parks but go to quiet areas where mostly dog walkers go to train him and leash him when we see anyone coming.

mitochondria · 27/04/2011 17:50

When they say "ooh, he doesn't bite" I wonder if the dog has had its teeth removed. Otherwise, how can they be so sure? Might just be that it hasn't bitten yet.

My smallest was nervous of dogs as he too was knocked to the floor by one that was "only being friendly". He's OK now.

It does annoy me though, when owners assume that we want the slobbery thing leaping all over us.

Particularly irks me on the beach. Two separate animals pissed on my sons' sandcastle last weekend. Unfortunately the no dogs on beach thing doesn't start until 1st May. Not that all the dogs can read the signs, anyway.

buggerlugs82 · 27/04/2011 17:56

At Mitochondria - dogs are social animals, i think i'd be a bit upset if one knocked my child to the floor though. As a dog owner i don't assume anything.

Re the sandcastles - yeah that sucks, my dog is a lady and would never dream of doing that although she did poop in the sea last week - I was VERY Blush but what could i do otherthan stick a cork upthere. Luckily it was the dog friendly bit of the beach so there were hardly any kids about.

mathanxiety · 27/04/2011 17:58

People who think their dogs are too precious and special to have on a leash around small children are obnoxious and self centered imo. My mum comes from a farming background and hates to see dogs loose in country areas, thinks they should all be leashed at all times. Nice dogs can turn into monsters in lambing season. As far as keeping a child away from the woods or park if dogs are likely to be there, that sounds like upside down logic to me.

aliceliddell · 27/04/2011 18:04

My dd liked dogs until she and friend were knocked over by one that 'won't bite' and was being 'friendly'. Years of anxiety ensued every time we went to the park. YANBU

Choufleur · 27/04/2011 18:07

yawn. can we have an ear piercing thread too?

DooinMeCleanin · 27/04/2011 18:10

I think puppies should be given some grace tbh. How can you be expected to train them not to approach people whilst off the leash, without letting them off the leash? Confused

My younger dog runs towards people when she is off leash but has brilliant recall and can turn on a sixpence so if I see hurtling towards someone I call her back immediately.

Older dog is always kept on a longline as he is terrible.

PregolaLola · 27/04/2011 18:28

no, not keeping kids away from the woods if theres dogs there, not taking them if your going to piss and moan that your child is frightened of dogs mathanxiety , if its something affecting your child still cant see why someone wouldnt try and help there child to feel comfortable in every situation, fed up of seeing adults scream and grab kids away like my dog is a wolf passing bad habbits onto your kids is cruel to them, plus its annoying when a kid is screaming and i have to try and stop my dog trying to investigate and help

valiumbandwitch · 27/04/2011 18:30

i once said 'no but he might lick me which is gross AND the last dog who didn't bite me just laddered my tights". BIg silence.

silentcatastrophe · 27/04/2011 18:34

You are not being unreasonable! BUT and it's a big BUT, you must teach your child how to be safe around dogs however afraid they are. Pets as Therapy may be able to help with your son's fear. It is so important for his own safety, as we are not getting rid of dogs any time soon!

I love dogs, but I know that there are so many people who don't. Safety and respect are learned things.

minimu1 · 27/04/2011 18:36

YANBU I am a dog owner and totally agree with you. I have just been called a grumpy dogwalker Grin on a thread over in the dog house because I don't like other peoples dogs coming and jumping on my dogs - let alone my DC.

Puppies do not go off lease until they are trained. They can be trained on a long lead - it just takes time and a bit of effort which most people can't be bothered to do.

BendyBob · 27/04/2011 18:46

'Bendybob - Are you / your children 100% under control?? Doubt it'

Er, yes thanks Buggerlugs. We're all 100% not going to jump up, slobber on, scare or bite anyone Hmm.

Vallhala · 27/04/2011 19:04

In an ideal world all dogs would not approach your son. They would be like my dogs.

In an ideal world all children would not approach my dogs. They would not dance in front of my dogs, waving their hands whilst their oafish parents looked on indulgently and laughed, they would not touch, poke or prod my dogs and they would not attempt to stroke my dogs without prior permission,

And in a not-even-ideal-but-civilised-world all adults would not stand in the middle of a c. 20 foot wide public footpath screaming at me to "take the fucking dog back down the path" because their PFB doesn't like dogs while I stand to the side of said footpath with my perfectly well behaved German Shepherd sitting quietly beside me having called him to me with a single whistle and leaded him up with a sit, stay command the very second I saw the arsehole adult and child in the far distance.

In an ideal world humans would be the more civilised, the better behaved, the more controlled and with the more controlled offspring.

Neither of us have an ideal world, create.

MayBankHoliday · 27/04/2011 19:06

YANBU. It happens so often and the owners never even seem to apologise.

Vallhala · 27/04/2011 19:07

Pregolalola, great choice of dog breed. :)

BeerTricksPotter · 27/04/2011 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Melly19MummyToBe · 27/04/2011 19:36

Theres a HUUUUUUGE Bull Mastiff that lives down my street, she's perfectly friendly, she's a lovely dog. BUT, she ADORES kids and if she's being walked down one side of the street and there's children on the other side she always barks booms hello at them. I used to babysit my neice and nephew a lot and they have a big boxer at home, but nowhere near as big as this dog. She absolutely terrified my nephew 94) once by sticking her nose in his face and sniffing him all over, she wasn't on a lead either so taking him away from her wasn't helpful as she just followed. She's also a jumpy up dog too and she's jumped up at me a few times. I don't mind this as I love dogs, but to anyone who doesn't she must bloody terrifying!!

Melly19MummyToBe · 27/04/2011 19:46

Haha oops, my nephews 4 not 94 [cblush][cgrin]

TandB · 27/04/2011 20:52


If you have a dog and you want to let it run free then it is your responsibility to ensure that you have done your job properly and trained it to come back to you when called.

The "oh he won't bite" thing, often accompanied by an indignant look, drives me insane. I don't mind dogs, although I have been a bit shirty when one has jumped up at me and put mud all over my work clothes while I was walking past, minding my own business.

But a friend of mine is absolutely terrified - reduced to a gibbering wreck if a dog runs up to her. She has worked on her fear and can now just about walk past a dog in the street without crying and shaking, but she will always cross the street if possible. Every time she has an encounter with someone with the "oh he won't bite" approach, it sets her right back.

ohmyfucksy · 27/04/2011 20:52

YANBU, I don't care for myself particularly - I am not scared of dogs. But would be pissed off if a dog jumped up at my kid, especially if they were nervous.

And, yes, when someone says 'he doesn't bite' they mean 'he hasn't bitten anyone yet'

Dogs should be kept under control. If you're going to let it off the lead then make sure it comes when called.

5Foot5 · 27/04/2011 21:03

Just finished mopping up the coffee I spat out when I read Ormirians suggestion! Grin

WoodRose · 27/04/2011 21:17

YANBU. I too am a grumpy dog walker Grin. I own two dogs, including a 5 month old collie puppy and I keep them by my side and under control. I live in London so encounter young children in our local parks and woods on a daily basis. I am in the process of training my puppy to come to me and sit whilst children pass. Because her recall isn't yet 100%, I put her on lead as soon as I approach large groups of children or see any child/ adult looking fearful. The biggest hindrance to her training, however, are the children who come running up to her waving sticks in her face, or think it "hilarious" to jump in front of her and scream loudly in her face. Parent usually standing by not taking a blind bit of notice. Consideration needs to be shown by both dog owners and non-dog owners alike.

stoatie · 27/04/2011 21:27

YANBU my youngest had a similar experience when she was about 2. She is not scared of dogs (ex CM had one) but is understandably nervous of dogs she doesn't know. We have to walk through the park to get to the swimming pool. every week we come across several dogs off the lead, most are fine, but one is very small snappy dog. Always runs up to DD and and snarls (although never bitten her thankfully). I once mentioned to the owner that DD was nervous of dogs and she just glared at me (said dog also snaps at other dogs).

I admit I am cynical when owners say the dog won't bite because I was bitten as child (not badly) whilst on my own driveway. Dogs owner was visiting neighbours, dog not on lead and ran over to me immediately it was off lead - just as owner said "It won't bite" it did!

cymruoddicatref · 27/04/2011 21:45

It does indeed work both ways. We have a gorgeous adorable cocker spaniel who has been brought up with children and is very appealing and has a super temperament. This is fortunate as I have lost count of the number of children, big and small, who wander over, often watched by their parents, and make to stroke her - often by e.g. Putting their hand straight on her head - without checking first whether this is a good idea.

Melly19MummyToBe · 27/04/2011 22:12

I'm just waiting for the day somebody does that to my MILs dog cymruoddicatref, he's a springer X king charles, there's a picture of him on my profile. He is the cutest softest looking thing ever that you just want to run upto and snuggle but he's so nasty and hates strangers! They don't muzzle him when they take him for walks and I reckon it's only a matter of time before he takes a chunk out of someone.

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