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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that drivers could stop and give way

25 replies

cuteboots · 27/04/2011 12:10

Every morning I leave my house at 8 to drop my son off at the childminders. We live near a busy road and most mornings I sit and wait at the junction for a good 5-1 10 mins. How long would it take for one of these cars/ buses/lorries to slow down slightly and let me out. It makes me so angry and I find it very rude Grrrrr. Just had to have a rant about tbis as to me its a lack of manners!!

OP posts:

hairylights · 27/04/2011 12:13

Manners don't come into it. Have you read the highway code?

pjmama · 27/04/2011 12:17

They have right of way and aren't obliged to let you out. I agree that the world would be a nicer place if everyone was a bit kinder and more considerate! Hey ho.

Just keep pushing your nose out a bit until somebody takes the hint. Sometimes you have to be a bit bold (without causing an accident obviously!)

manfromCUK · 27/04/2011 12:21

I have a small amount of sympathy - but think of this - no-one coming along is likely to know how long you have been there. Also, when it really busy, one person can't let you out because they rely on others who may be unable/unwilling/not paying attention. Think of this - if you were driving normally along a busy road and the car/lorry in front appeared to be stopping for no reason - how would you feel about that?

Finally - is your timing of 5/10 minutes accurate? When my commute included a busy junction of this type - I took to timing it - what seemed like an eternity was actually 2 mins max.

GypsyMoth · 27/04/2011 12:23

i usually let a car out for my daily dose of 'karma'!!

Original poster

cuteboots · 27/04/2011 12:24

Hairylight- Being honest I havent read the highway code for quite a few years but sometimes it not always about whats written in a book. I agree they have right of way but its just really annoying!! Grrr

Pjama- I will work on your advice and see how it goes obviously not looking to cause an accident at the same time...

OP posts:

Sirzy · 27/04/2011 12:24

Pjmamma - if I car pushes it's nose out when I am driving then I am less likely to let them out.

If it is safe to do so I do try to let other drivers out but I don't expect others to let me out, why should they it is there right of way!

Nancy66 · 27/04/2011 12:27

if it's a fast flowing busy road then it won't be safe t slow and let a car out.

frgr · 27/04/2011 12:28

How would any of the drivers know how long you've been standing there?

Also if they stopped or slowed down to let you pass, they would potentially cause an accident where none would have occured. On a road where there isn't any clear reason to stop or slow down e.g. traffic lights, a pedestrian already on the road, a ball rolled onto the road, etc - you're just making a very clear set of rules (the highway code) be prone to misinterpretation!

Stupid idea.

OP is BU.

Get over it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/04/2011 12:29

It's difficult OP, if you're turning left, it's easy for somebody to let you out BUT if you're turning right, they have to stop to let you out whilst hoping that the traffic on the other side of the road will notice their gesture and also let you join the lane.

It's a recipe for disaster if somebody isn't paying attention.

In Wales this problem has been largely resolved by the installation of roundabouts at nearly every junction. {grin]

frgr · 27/04/2011 12:30

Oh, yes, wanted to add the bit about manners/it being rude.

It's nothing to do with that, and if you think about it for even a second, you'll understand why to link the road situation you described above with "rudeness" or lack of manner is, frankly, bizarre.

What next, my postie is being rude because he won't let me rummage around in his bag if I see him at the end of the street?

Odd, very very odd.

Original poster

cuteboots · 27/04/2011 12:36

manfromcuk- Your feedback is very helpful as normally Im so focused on the journey to the childminders that maybe it does seem like Im sat there longer! Also getting out of the house is always a mad rush so this again probably isnt helping with stress levels. I will try to remain calm from now on and refrain from wanting to give every passing driver the 2 finger salute! ha ha ha.

OP posts:

ChristinedePizan · 27/04/2011 12:39

Could you take a different route so that you come onto the main road at a junction with traffic lights? That's what I used to have to do to get out.

Original poster

cuteboots · 27/04/2011 12:39

frgr- Not sure where the postman bit has come from but thanks for the comparison!

OP posts:

Original poster

cuteboots · 27/04/2011 12:41

Christinedepizan- Good idea but there is only one route out of the bit where I live unfortunately!

OP posts:

Ephiny · 27/04/2011 12:43

YABU, though I can understand it must be annoying. Maybe leave a few minutes earlier in the morning so you're not so stressed and rushed :)

Can you go a different way, e.g. if you're trying to turn right go left instead and take a different if slightly longer route? Obviously depends on your area whether this makes sense for you!

Original poster

cuteboots · 27/04/2011 12:50

Ephiny- Unfortunately there is only one route to take each day and Im trying to turn left onto the main road. The leaving a few mins later my work but not that muh as its a really busy road and tends to get busier from about 7.30 each day . I will just have to be much calmer and not let it annoy me!!

OP posts:

SardineQueen · 27/04/2011 12:54

People let each other out round here all the time without causing major accidents. I find that an odd argument.

Original poster

cuteboots · 27/04/2011 12:55

FGR- Im sending some agression in your mails are you one of these drivers that doesnt let me out in the morning! ha ha

OP posts:

frgr · 27/04/2011 12:57

cuteboots -not at all, i'm actually a very good driver (at least i was when i had a car - it got written off at the end of last year after some yobs stole it and decided it looked better around a light pole and fencing)

i always used to let people out and say thank you. but not on a busy road where i deemed it unsafe that's all. safety first, then courtesy

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 27/04/2011 13:00

I will always let people out when I see they are trying to get out - so maybe you do need to edge forward a little bit and look 'ready' to take the gap if it's offered to you - if someone is sitting quite far back and not looking 'alert' then it's harder to 'offer' them a 'gap' - it also depends how near to me the car behind is - if it's right up my jacksy then I'm not going to practically stop to let you out on a long straight bit of road where the driver behind me wouldn't be expecting me to slow/stop.... I'm helpful, but I'm not willing to put myself at risk to let you out - sorry!

Original poster

cuteboots · 27/04/2011 13:04

Chippinginloveseastereggs- I have to say Im probably not looking alert at that time of the morning. I think I need to just chill out and leave the house a bit earlier.

OP posts:

Ormirian · 27/04/2011 13:04

Major accidents? Because drivers let someone out? Bloody hell Don't cars have brakes in your areas then? If you hit someone who slows down or stops it is your fault. The best idea is to keep your eyes open and learn how to use the brakes

Driving shouldn't be about survival of the fittest. Common courtesy comes into it too.

southofthethames · 27/04/2011 13:05

I don't think they're deliberately being rude but they may not know you've been waiting a long time. Try aiming to leave 10 minutes earlier than usual -even if it then ends up only being 5 minutes earlier, you can bet that the traffic will be clearer. Sods law always dictates that you can't get out just when you are in a rush, if you tell yourself "I am in no rush" there always seems to be a clear space to get out. Sounds like weird psychobabble but that always happens, I find :-)

hmc · 27/04/2011 13:06

I'm thinking that perhaps cuteboots is referring to those situations where it is both safe and courteous to let someone out.

I can think of some instances - for example, i have to turn right across a busy main road (A road) and often sit in the middle indicating right for quite some time. I really appreciate those drivers who are turning left into the road I want to turn right into, who are slowing down anyway, and have the presence of mind to flash me to say 'go head, you go first, I'm not going to suddenly accelerate' .

However I am sometimes mildly piqued by those drivers who are turning left into same side road and don't flash me to go. Yes they have right of way, but it would cost them nothing to let me go (since they are slowing down anyway) and it would not compromise safety...instead I have to sit there in the middle of road for longer with the backdrafts of huge juggernauts wobbling the car as they speed past me (I am quite vulnerable sitting in the middle of that particular trunk road)..... I do think that a lot of drivers coast along in autopilot and drive suboptimally and are either inconsiderate or poor drivers who don't understand traffic flow.

tallulah · 27/04/2011 13:23

Well we have a box junction at the entrance to our road, plus a huge queue waiting for traffic lights. 4 mornings out of 5 some dozy woman (it's sadly always a woman, tho not the same one) has stopped her car right on the box, thereby stopping everyone from turning into/ out of our road and causing a queue back the other way through the lights. Never any police around either.

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