to be DREADING ds's 5th birthday party tomoro!!

[superv1xen]

oh my dear god i am stressing sooooo much.

its at my home. there are about 20 kids coming plus their parents (apart from one or two parents who i don't know who are dropping their offspring and picking them up after - aarghh). i am houseproud and dreading kids running in and out going upstairs traipsing dirt on my carpets. and we don't have a downstairs loo so it will be unavoidable them having to go upstairs. yet conversely i want the house to look its absolute best (i am sad like that ) even though i know it will get really messy again.

some people have STILL. NOT. FUCKING. CONFIRMED if they are coming or not which is really annoying as i am trying to sort out how much food, cake i will need so everyone has enough.

DH won't be here as he will be at work. DS's dad (ds has a different dad) will be here "helping" but i am worried it will be awkward having him around as although we get on he IS my ex.

we are having a bouncy castle in the garden. i have a toddler (23 months) DD who i KNOW will go NUTS to go on it but there will be so many bigger boisterous kids i will be scared to let her on it, so she will be an absolute mardy arse.

sorry. just needed to rant. god only knows why i said he could have a party. we should have just taken him to the zoo or something :(

YANBU and are completely bonkers into the bargain.

Totally unhelpful but affirming [cgrin]

YANBU I dont think its really daunting doing a kids party.

Could you possibly get some supermarket freezable pizzas so that if you look like you are running out of food you can always bung those in but if you dont need them can still use them yourselves at a later time?

Also dont stress about your DD too much as I have a 5 year old son with an 11 month old sister and most of his peers have slightly younger siblings and know how to behave with them if you know what I mean. I always find it bemusing at the school gate when theres a throng of boys around the pram of the smaller children. They are really very good with them.

Have you got someone coming to help you who can be on loo patrol? Someone to minimise the messing in the house and stuff?

Deep breaths. Can you ask ex DP to keep an eye on either the other children or your youngest DC? Or, better still farm out the youngest to GPs or neighbours.
Mess is cleanable you know that, alternatively plastic buckets for pee and a sign with the message about no pooing could help.
Relax, enjoy yourself and take lots of photographs.

oooh good idea about the extra pizzas.

and lol kreecher re pee buckets :o

Lol, 20 kids in your house with no organised games? You are mad! I'm a teacher and find that class parties that are scheduled with games etc are far, far better than just allowing the kids to dance to music in the hall for an hour. My mum was a teacher and was always asked to help out at other class parties because she was strict, organised and played traditional games. The kids always loved the parties - even the 11 year old boys.

So if I were doing a party I would write a list of party games and stick to it. Pass the parcel, musical bumps, etc. As you have a bouncy castle I would timetable kids on that - 20 kids on a castle is asking for trouble. Better to have a rolling programme of about 7 at a time while the others do a craft activity or listen to a story or something. Just let them have a few minutes on when it's their turn. That way they'll have fun without being on there long enough to get too silly.

Shut all upstairs doors apart from the bathroom and don't let children up there unless to use the toilet. Play all games in the living room or garden. Don't let them play with your children's toys. Have a set time for food and all eat together. Don't be afraid to tell early finishers that they have to wait for everyone else.

I personally hate other parents at parties. They tend to let their children run riot and the children are less likely to join in all the games if their parents are there. If possible put a separate table of snacks in the kitchen or other room where children won't be and encourage them to stay there. Alternatively, greet then at the door with "there's no need for you to stay, we'll see you at 3 o clock" (or whenever end of party is) and see how they react! Good luck!

Ok firstly ..... RELAX

now.... mess is unavoidable but with that many parents in attendance it'll be fine... most will do odds and ends to help and the kids will be a lot less likely to go wild with their parents standing right there.

The mess that is created will be surprisingly easy to clean up... never takes me more than an hour or so and I never have many parents and usually the same amount of kids. With the bouncy castle most of them will barely come into the house at all anyway.

If you and your ex get on why are you stressing? Be grateful for the help and stop looking for problems.

Let your poor dd on the bouncy castle fgs, she's 23 months, not 2 months.... it'll probably be her doing damage to the older kids if personal experience is anything to go by... a toddler on a bouncy castle is a deadly weapon!

Buy enough food and just cook what you need when the party starts and you can see numbers.... it'll get used at some point so it's not going to go to waste if you leave it in the freezer.

Top tip..... feed them within half an hour of arriving... the meal is the worst bit and if they've filled up on junk they won't eat it anyway. As soon as they're all there put the food down, then they can go off out and play with occasional bowls of sweets sent out to them while you clear up the food.... makes it less of a rush to do the cake too.

And... never do games with 20 kids.

Nightmare... they won't want to do them with a bouncy castle there and they'll cause fights and tears.

Ill add shoes off in the house (will cut down and mess and those who dont really need the loo but just wanted to be nosy) and one at a time upstairs with a parent to the bathroom. Start letting 2 or 3 children up there unsupervised and who knows where it will end.
Id split into 2 or more teams, Team A play races or hunt for chocolate or whatever, while team B go on castle. Swap after 10 mins. Get a whistle or a bell to give the signal its swap time.

SummerRain - that's why it's easier not to have parents around, because then you can insist that they all join in with games. They're 4 and 5, in Reception, most of them will have had a Christmas party at school and there they wouldn't have had the choice whether to play or not, they would have been expected to and they would have had a good time.

If you're stressed and houseproud why did you arrange a party at home? So, yes, YABU.

people not confirming is just pain rude (they're waiting to see what the weather is like - we have this as DD's b'day is in August), so YANBU to be stressing about that side of things.

Be prepared for the people who `accidently' leave without taking their younger chikldren with them, so spare pizza, grapes, cherry tomatoes, cucumber etc will come in handy.

Fingers crossed for good weather - it will be fine. Make sure you have something chilling in the fridge just for you for after [csmile]

i feel for you,i invited about 12 for dd1 4th birthday but didnt realise there would be another 6 siblings tagging along.we had a bouncy outside and a picnic on the garden. 2 hours in it started thundering and lightning,i had 4 dripping wet bugaboos in my kitchen. it took dh,and our cleaner 2 days to clear the devastation.NEVER AGAIN,good luck.

sorry, don't wish to be uncharitable but if you are faffing this much about getting dirt on your house what on earth possessed you to offer to host a children's party at home?

Oh I hate people not being arsed to confirm - really really rude.

Have a list of games, activities up your sleeve for if things get out of hand.

Rope in any parents who stay to do certain jobs - ie one to supervise the bouncy castle etc

Calm down dear

Good luck (and don't ever have a childrens party at home ever again). I had one for DD last year - nightmare and that was only 16 girls with no parents around. Even then they broke my back door handle and pulled the door off the playhouse. And I thought girls would be easier. ARRGGGHHH!

Sorry I have probably made you feel worse