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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DP not to take the f***ing computer when he is putting DD to bed?!

19 replies

Anothermummy · 26/04/2011 21:31

Just that really.
Fucking computer is glued to him. Goes in the toilet, in bed, to the sofa. Everywhere he goes.
Recently when he is putting DD to bed and I peek in i see her snuggled up to him while he has the computer on his lap.
No bedtime story, no proper cuddle just daddy on the fucking computer.
When I mention it the twat says 'what do you want me to do? Fall asleep?'

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 26/04/2011 21:33

When I mention it the twat says 'what do you want me to do? Fall asleep?'

I would reply "no, read your fucking child a story you selfish arse" and turn off the router too!

parakeet · 26/04/2011 21:33

Yep, he's a twat.
Next!

Original poster
Anothermummy · 26/04/2011 21:36

The router is down the side of DD's bed otherwise I would!
Am silently seething at the moment. Silently only because i am snuggled up MNing feeding DS.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/04/2011 21:37

What exactly is he doing on the computer all this time, OP? It sounds very odd.

thisisyesterday · 26/04/2011 21:38

you could turn off the entire upstairs circuit ;-)

or dp says if it's via phone line you could disconnect that

TheSkiingGardener · 26/04/2011 21:40

He sounds addicted. Maybe a talk about whether he considers that level of computer time normal when he's not on it. Also a out the impat it is having on your children. They are growing up thinking that living life through a computer is normal.

Original poster
Anothermummy · 26/04/2011 21:44

Lyingwitch - I wish it were something exciting but he is on bloody stocks and shares websites and threads he has started about companies he has invested in. Bloody boring. Bloody annoying.
Thisisyesterday - we live in a flat so can't turn the power off but am interested in your DP's other evil suggestion Grin how do I do that then?

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfTheNight · 26/04/2011 21:47

"Don't you think your daughter deserves your attention? Because if you find your child too boring to engage with, that you need your computer at her bedtime, then you've got a problem."

A bit of PA emotional manipulation in the evening Wink

Or you could just tell him straight that his child is entitled to his attention and should not be competing with the bloody computer.

Original poster
Anothermummy · 26/04/2011 21:49

He is definitely addicted skiinggardener.
He goes through little obsessive 'phases' and the stocks and shares are he thing of the moment. He is trying to save enough money to buy a house outright Hmm which is not necessary a nice idea but not when it is to the detriment of our homelife!

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityhat · 26/04/2011 21:49

He seems to be an addict. Heartfelt sympathies.

LisaD1 · 26/04/2011 21:53

He's a twat! When he is old and lonely and has no relationship with his DD cos he couldn't be bothered with her when she was little let's hope his computer keeps him company ;-)

flyingspaghettimonster · 26/04/2011 21:55

it's like the iphones - suddenly you can't have a meal with someone without them playing on the damned things... my husband even has to be told to turn his off after the lights are out at bedtime - he always just wants to read one more page of failblog - does my nut in. He at least reads to the kids though - are you sure you OH isn't doing the story then playing on his computer when the kid is meant to be sleeping? Not a lot of fun sitting watching a kid fiddle about getting comfy...

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/04/2011 21:56

Perhaps he'll need that house for himself, OP. I had a bad father, he's going to be sorry when your DD can't be bothered with him anymore.

Why do these horrible men keep fathering children they can't be bothered to have any input with... Angry

Sorry for you, OP, he sounds utterly selfish... and boring.

Original poster
Anothermummy · 26/04/2011 21:56

Hecate - he is pretty good with her in the evenings before bed but I think he doesn't 'get' the importance of a good bedtime for DD.
Of course, I could be talking rot and was actually right when I said he was a twat!
Might have to be blunt as I've probably already got his back up with done the PA thing Grin

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/04/2011 22:00

Sorry if you were just having a rant, OP... perhaps he's quite nice when the internet's down really. Grin

Original poster
Anothermummy · 26/04/2011 22:06

I could give him the benefit of the doubt like you, flyingspaghettimonster, that he's already read her a book (will ask) but I'd still rather he wasn't on it in there. if he has to do something when she's dropping off I'd rather he used his iPhone discreetly, not the bloody great laptop!
LisaD1 - he is welcome to have the computer to warm his bed at night!
Lyingwitch - he is good with her the rest of the time but I'd have to agree he can be a bit of a bore!

OP posts:
Original poster
Anothermummy · 26/04/2011 22:10

Ah no worries lyingwitch as I said you weren't far off about the boring bit!
I might start taking the computer to bed while we're supposed to be spending 'quality time' together! Grin

OP posts:
FriedEggyAndSlippery · 26/04/2011 22:15

YANBU!

I love bedtime stories, what a shame your DD and DH are missing out on that bonding time.

cityangel · 26/04/2011 22:24

Am I the only one here that thinks you should consider wifi 'down the side of dd's bed' something that should be removed? google wifi interference & the impact on children.

Yes dh is a rubbish Dad as those moments are golden. But if he can't see that on his own volition... Can he change? does he have a secret, money issues/ workaholic to really need the computer for those 20 mins. Or can he just not handle being a decent Dad? Or maybe he sees bedtime in too functional a way. Ask him armed with positive encouragement... Children who are read to & girls who have good relationships with their Dads thrive...

You are not being unreasonable... You need to ban the computer & router from the kids bedrooms. If he won't put them down yourself & explain to him that when your kids have no attention span, don't take to reading & prefer gaming it will be his fault.

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