Is this weird or am I being over-sensitive?

[YourBigMomma]

I drove to MIL's house, picking up my BIL and fiance from the airport on the way (DH was working). During lunch MiL gave much sympathy to poor BIL being tired after flying first class for 8hours- neither mind me coping alone while husband works with a nasty lergy and with DDs, 19 months and 6 weeks.
MIL then decided we should have some family photos of 'all the family'. I was then asked to take all the photos while first my BIL and fiance posed with my two DDs and then PIL joined them and no-one suggested that I should maybe be included in a photo. I'm not at all bothered not to be photod, but just felt hurt to so clearly not be counted as family, while my kids were. Is this normal behaviour?

YABU on the sympathy thing...she can give it to whoever she chooses.

YANBU on the photo thing...doesn't sound very nice.

YANBU, this is not at all normal and it is totally understandable for you to be hurt. Not sure what to suggest, but didn't want you to think no-one was listening.

Agree with janajos - MIL sounds mean

They were very thoughtless. Sounds like MIL was just excited to see her DC and forgot a bit of basic consideration. YANBU to be a bit hurt, but you should have piped up!

Well...he is her baby, so it stands to reason she would be making a fuss of him. Also I've noticed a lot of women the generation above have a different attitude to "coping" with motherhood (I'm not trying to pick apart the words you've used!) - it's just that they see it differently, "ooh, I had three under 5, and two of them in terry nappies, and we had no washing machine" etc - so perhaps it might not have occurred to her you need making a fuss over. Perhaps you seem to be coping so well, she didn't think to!

The photo thing is a bit weird. But equally, it is annoying to be forced into a photograph when you don't want to be. Perhaps a poor judgement call on MIL's part, or just thoughtlessness. Does your BIL live in the UK?

Photo thing happened to me too. At ds's christening the only photos taken were by the in-laws, I am not in any of them. Don't think it was on purpose but was hurt all the same.

Actually photo thing happened again. I should really have a complex. As the only partner of family members I wasn't in most of the photos. DD was as she was a bridesmaid but not me and 2 ds's.

The photo thing is "normal" it seems

I have taken many pictures for the in laws of "the family" to go on the wall, I'M ALWAYS THE ONE BEHIND THE CAMERA! I think they're oblivious to this

YANBU to feel a bit hurt by it all, but you're not alone

yanbu. poor you, you must have feel like crap

How bloody rude

YANBU but I don't think it's that uncommon. My granny doesn't really consider anyone not directly related to her as family when it comes down to it - when she heard my DSIL had gone into labour in the small hours, her reaction was "Poor DB, he must have been exhausted!"

Smile and ignore, if you can ...