I think I WBU, but I'm not sure what I should have done (dog/baby/park)

[ButterpieandCheese]

I was in the local playground recently, with my 15mo DD2 playing with me, and 4yo DD1 running about like 4 year olds do.

The playground is in the middle of a big grassy park, with no fence, where lots of dogs are walked, usually under control. Every now and again you get a dodgy looking dog (you know the type - fighty, muscular, off the lead and obviously excitable), when I call my kids closer to me, and the owners usually take the dog away. I had dogs as a child, I know most are fine, but when my mummy senses are tingling, I reckon calling my kids over is the sensible thing - I don't make it obvious it is because of the dog.

anyhow, that's a bit off topic. I was at the playground first thing on Easter sunday, trying to distract the kids from chocolate, when DD2 started waving and shouting "hiya!" to one of those big police dog style dogs. She kept doing this for ages, and eventually the owner called his dog close to him and brought the dog over to meet dd2. DD2 giggled and babbled more at the dog and reached out to grab the dog. The owner said it is ok, so I let her pat it, and DD1 wandered over and did the same.

It was only then that I looked down and saw that the dogs mouth (currently about 15cm from my baby's head) was big enough to fit half my baby in. I then got really nervous and picked her up, thanked the owner and took the kids to the shops. DD1 could have ridden it like a horse - it was massive!

Now I feel that I did the wrong thing, but I'm not sure how - should I have not let the kids near the dog at all? Should I have let them pat the dog as much as they liked? What if they get scared of dogs? What if they don't get scared of dogs and start patting dogs at random?

Basically, can we have the definitive answer on public dog patting by children please?

I think it was fine
the owner was there and approved of the patting
don't worry about it

you sound hilarious. thanks for this.

I would say teach them caution but not so they are afraid of dogs iyswim.

I have a JRT and I hate it when kids try to stroke her because she is really snappy. I now muzzle her when we are out for that reason.

It's a tough one. Hopefully someone like Valhalla (dog guru) will come along soon

You do have a strange attitude towards dogs I must say.

Any dog off the lead in a child's play area is a potential threat..whether they look 'dodgy' or cute and cuddly.

However, I've always taught my kids to ask the owner if it's ok to pet their dog.

Public dog patting is surely OK as long as owner, dog, children and parent are all agreeable. It's important to get children familiar with animals and pass on advice like 'it's OK to pat this one because he's friendly, wagging his tail and on a lead' etc. BTW you don't snatch children away unless the scene changes - not just because you got cold feet. If the dog had got jumpy or growly, fair enough but your children might be confused that 'big' is a problem. As a toddler, my brother's particular fondness was for putting his hand in the mouths of random dogs. Not sure why. He still has both hands, you'll be pleased to hear.

I have two large dogs. Both friendly, both great with kids. I happily let people/ kids pet them, but never let my dogs near anybody unless they ask.
Theres no right answer, to this. Its okay not to let you children near dogs they dont know, its okay to pick them up once you realise that their heads are level with the dogs mouth.
As a mother I understand and as a dog owner its fine, your kids wont become scared of dogs as long as you are calm throughout!
Just always tell your kids to ask the owner first, if its okay to pet.

kids should ask their parent first and then the owner of the dog.

Also I think it's important to teach your kids how to pet dogs...ie, never a sudden fast movement, no loud squealing and always let the dog have a good sniff of their hand first.

Well, that's it - my two don't have a dog they see usually as no family have dogs any more, so they don't know how to behave with them. also, dd2 has a habit of, with no warning, pulling hair/grabbing faces etc - she is too little to realise that this hurts people. What if she did it to a dog?

I wvs more relaxed at first because the dog was big, ime owners of big dogs are more likely to have them well trained - this is entirely subjective, obv, but I got chvsed by quite v few small yappy dogs on my paper round when I was little, but my aunties rottweilers and any other big dogs I met were always very under control - I think because they are so big and scary the owners are more careful, if that makes sense.

But then the dog opened it's mouth to pant, right next to the baby's head and I got jumpy. :/

I dont think the guy would have brought the dog over if he thought ur kids would be in danger, he sounded really nice to me....
Most kids will want to pet dogs, I always tell me daughter to ask the owner 1st though and not to touch them if the dog is on its own.

The dog was lovely, it was really sweet.

I think you handled the situation really well.

I've been scared of dogs all my life, and really didn't want that for my dc. So I think teaching them how to behave around dogs is really important. It takes away some of the fear. They must know to always check with the owner before approaching the dog and that most dogs are nice, but just like people, some can be mean so until you know someone or some dog, you ask your parents how to behave around them.

If you looked at my MILs dog you wouldn't think "oooh a dodgy looking dog" like you described in your op, he's adorable looking, theres a couple of pics of him on my profile actually. He's the nastiest, most vicious dog I have ever come across, because of how he has been brought up. He hates strangers and would probably attack someone if they tried to pet him in the street. ILs are a bit daft though, they don't muzzle him when they take him for walks which I think is asking for trouble, but there you go!

I see what you mean about your DD randomly grabbing hair/faces etc though, although you never know, the dog might belong to a family with toddlers and be used to that sort of thing :)

Your child reached out to grab a strange dog in a park. You know your child grabs yet you allowed her within grabbing distance of the dog.

You describe certain dogs as "dodgy looking" because they're "fighty" (whatever that means), "off the lead" and "muscular" and excitable.

I can't work out whether this is a wind up or whether people really ARE that stupid.

Worraliberty sums it up pretty succinctly. DO NOT allow your child to pet a strange dog without prior permission from the owner and without supervision. Teach your child that if she can't stop/is too young to control grabbing at a dog she is not allowed within reach of one.

And FFS stop describing dogs with muscular builds, dogs which are offlead, and dogs which are excitable as "dodgy looking". It's bollocks.

Especiially in respect to the dogs withh muscular builds, it's harmful rumour-mongering bollocks.

I'd hold back on "fighty" too if I were you. It's not even a word, is it?

I think you did the right thing if you were uncomfortable. You took your children away but didn't make them aware of the fact that you were nervous.

We have a dog (about labrador size) that wouldn't hurt a fly and younger children approach her a lot but you should see the look on some parents faces and I know it's because of the way she looks which is quite sad but I suppose understandable.

We always taught our children from a very young age to ask the owner before approaching a dog and now (12 and 10) they still ask us before approaching the owner. You should definitely be teaching your four year the same.

I am not going to generalise completely here and understand that it's not all owners but I tend to find larger dogs much better trained than small dogs as the owners know how people feel about them whereas we have found a lot of small dog owners whose dogs go for ours just laugh and make some stupid comment about small man mentality.

my kids ask me first and then the owner if they can pet the dog.

there is a very cute looking maltease like dog near me which is frequently left running wild.its snappy and agressive when out and has bitten a child.so its not just 'fighty' looking dogs that you need to be wary of.

btw child was set upon by the dog and didnt even realise it was out.all the local kids know to go inside when this dog is out.owners deny all knowledge of the dog to the warden.

I was always used to be afraid of dogs, even puppies and it was affecting my kids, but now if we see a dog I always let my kids ask the owners first if they can stroke the dog, to wait for permission and not to crowd etc and the owners usually thank my kids for being polite & the dog gets lots of fuss :-)

The owner called the dog over and it went so it sounds like a well trained dog. The owner also said the dog was OK to pet they sound sensible and like they know their dog well.

You do need to teach your children not to grab at dogs until the owner has OKed though.

My great grandfather picked up and strangled to death a yappy jack russell terrier type because it went for him. He must have been in his 80s when he did so. We only know because he asked my mum if she thought a foot deep was enough to bury it in the garden .

Little dogs can be nasty snappy creatures, big dogs can be soft as butter and the other way around. It is just scary to see massive jaws that could crush your child that close!

The dog was clearly well trained, and did not respond in any negative way.
It's owner was clearly responsible, had their dog under control and understood about children.

NOTHING HAPPENED (other than you noticed it had a big mouth, which presumably as you've already said it was a big dog wasn't the greatest surprise in the world)

How is this even a thread?