to spend the money on food and drinks..?

[gillybean2]

Took ds and 2 friends out for the day yesterday. I had tesco vouchers to get into the attraction (theme park) and when I picked them up their nan gave me £10 for each of them. I asked 'is this for their lunch' and she she 'whatever they want'. They had nothing else with them, no suncream (already put on I was told), no drink no snacks or packed lunch.

I had brought a bottle of water for ds and myself and had a spare bottle too. I also had some snacks, crisps & biscuits to share. It was a roasting hot day and we were stuck in traffic for ages. I offered them the spare bottle of water but they don't like water...

Got to the theme park. £23 each to get wrist bands for them, so £70 in tesco vouchers. I immediately went and got the two boys a bottle of coke each (what they asked for) because it was so hot and they hadn't drunk anything for 2 hours while stuck in a hot car. These cost £2 a bottle.

We had lunch a little while later (£5 for each of them from the burger place - including a drink each) and later had ice cream, more bottles of coke for them. Asked if they wanted candyfloss, more chips etc.

Towards the end of the day they wanted to go in the gift shop. It was full of tat and after wandering around for some 10 mins without finding anything they wanted to buy I explained that we really needed to get on and that actually I had spent more then the £10 each on them already. I even listed out that lunch had been £5, coke bottles £2 each and they'd had 2, plus icecream at £2 which all came to more than £10.

I said if they really wanted something I would get it for them but it needed to be small and they needed to pick it in the next 5 mins as we needed to start heading back to the car.
More wandering around blankly and they didn't find anything they wanted after a further 5 mins, so we left the shop.

Back to the car, paid for parking and headed home. Apart from being stuck in traffic at the start it was an enjoyable day out.

When I dropped them off the oldest asked if they could have their money back. I said I had spent it on their lunch etc but he said they hadn't got anything in the gift shop...

I felt a bit dumbstruck really, but didn't want to spoil the day by arguing the point, so got my purse and scrounged around trying to find £20 in it in change.

At this point their nan came out, said hello etc. I handed over the £20 and she said what's that? I said the boys asked for their money back. She said didn't you spend it, I said yes but they were asking for it. She took the £20 and gave them £5 each and gave me £10 back. Then their mum came out, said thanks for talking them etc. Off I went home with ds.

Now I had taken £65 in cash for the say plus £70 in tesco vouchers and came home with £12 (this included the £10 she had given me back - so I spent £133 on the day out).

AIBU to think next time I should just give them their £10 each and tell them to buy whatever drinks and or lunch they want with their own money and when it's gone it's gone!?

If I invite other people's children to join us I expect to be feeding them and providing drinks etc. theme parks are expensive places and I would probably take a picnic for lunch and buy some fast food stuff for later on. I think if you expect the parents to provide food it is best to address this at the time of invitation to say they will need to bring a packed lunch for picnic.

I would have simply said "your money has been spent" to the cheeky little sod.

If it were me taking kids out for the day, I wouldn't expect them or their parents to pay anything at all, so it would have been their money for souvenirs. I consider it like taking my own kids out - I don't charge them for macdonalds or a bottle of water at the theme park, but if they want to buy crap at the gift shop, they use pocket money. So I would have returned the money TO THE NAN - not to the boys, as it wasn't their money.

It sounds as if everyone was confused about what was being provided, these situations can be tricky. So far I've always provided a picnic for everyone we've taken. If my child goes on a trip I ask if I should pack a lunch, it's always been the case that the other parent has covered the food. I always send him off with water, and a snack to share. Then some money for the gift shop, or to offer to pay extra like ice-cream.

I'm sure this will all change as they become teenagers! The food consumed by 4 x 14 year old on a day out would be scary ;) I wonder how I'll handle the renegotiation as they get older.

We invited DS' friend (R) to a theme park and told Rs mum that he would need lunch & money for gifts. We picked him up & his mum said his spends were in his bag with his lunch.
Well, when lunchtime came, we sat down to eat & R started to cry. I asked him why he was crying and he said that all he had in his bag was a packet of crisps and £2. Needless to say we ended up giving him lunch, ( i always pack extra stuff just in case DC are hungry) & added another £2 in the gift shop.

I always check now to make sure they have everything.

I would of told the boys that they had spent their money on lunch/drinks.

When DS2 goes paintballing, i always send him with £20. These places are so expensive & i would feel guilty if DS friends parents had to fork out more on things for DS, like snacks/drinks.

If someone offers to take my kids out somewhere, I'd expect them to ask me to send them with a packed lunch if they're out for the day if they don't want to buy food - and I'd give the kids a few quid for the gift shop. If you decide to take a load of kids somewhere expensive, that's surely your choice.

When I offer to take other people's kids with me somewhere, I tend to make eveybody packed lunches, and I pick up the bill for entry fees/extras/petrol money. If I can't afford to take friends along, we go without them or I talk to the parents beforehand about whether they'd like their child to come & contributing to costs.

I would have covered the food and drink tbh.

I would have expected to feed them I think. At least that's what seems to be the norm with us and ds's friends' parents. If money was a little tight I'd have taken a picnic.

I'd have handed the 2 x £10 back to their nan minus 2 x £2 each maybe for the Cokes (seeing as they rejected the water).

its a bloody cheek,did she give you any money for the entrance fee?

I think it is awful. I would feel like my kids were sponging off someone else if they did not have money for lunch and I would offer the money for the entrance fee.

afterall you were entertaining them and using your car to transport them to the park.

the grandmother and mum are not sending out a good message to these kids. Perhaps you should have asked the grandmother about lunch before you set off. have they packed lunch etc?

When I invite other children out with us I foot the bill. I think UABU because the Nan said it was their money and you were looking after it for them. If my sons are going out with friends I make sure they have money with them but would expect it to be for extras (gifts, sweets, etc) unless I have been asked to provide lunch.

When I'm taking children out for an expensive day I sometimes ask the parents to send them with a lunch and a drink so we can have a picnic. Alternatively, I might just make a picnic myself.

I'd have told them to sod off if they asked for the money back. YANBU

I would not have expected to keep their money for food and drinks if I had offered to take them out for the day and had not requested that their mother send them with a packed lunch!

If I invite somebody, I foot the bill.

What would you have done if they'd brought a packed lunch; bought your fast food and then eaten your cheeseburgers and cokes whilst they had to deal with the likes of a curly, warm cheese sandwich?

Bad form!

YWallBU for not clarifying what the lunch arrangements were.
YABU to complain about the spending money. They were cheeky to ask for it but if you didn't want to give it you should have just explained to the gran that their spends (and more besides) had been spent on food and drinks. No point complaining afterwards. The gran may have thought that £10 would cover it if you didn't make it clear how much was spent.
I would just put it down to experience and make sure you make it clear who is providing lunch if you take friends of your DC out again. You said you had a good day and £10 isn't a lot considering what you paid for the day out.

I'm with the group who would have expected to be paying for food & drink on a day out with kids.

However, the fact that an 11 year old would be rude enough to ask for his money back when you had explained what it had been spent on would have made me want to slap him I'm afraid I wouldn't have actually slapped him BTW, just been sorely tempted .

OMG! what a load of freeloaders that family are. Cheeky kids to ask for your money back. I dont understand the necessity to buy something in the gift shop. Personally I would have avoided going there at all, esp as their money had run out.
You should have been given a few quid extra for taking them off their hands for the day, you certainly shouldnt have been short-changed.

Chicletteth we are vegi so no we don't sit there eating cheeseburgers and expect them to eat curly warm cheese sandwiches. In fact I didn't even buy drinks for ds and myself as we don't drink fizzy overpriced stuff.

Ds had some horrible vegi nuggets from the burger place and I ate the fries that came with them as he doesn't like 'chips'. We only had these because we were getting a burger for the other two.
Other than that I ate an apple and some oatcake biscuits I had brought. Ds wasn't hungry after eating the nuggets so didn't want anything else of the snacks I had brought. He had some candyfloss and a icecreams later though as did I. I didn't buy any drinks for us either as we had our own water.

The reason I asked 'is this for their lunch' is because I was expecting them to either have some kind of packed lunch or money for lunch if they didn't. Their mum usually sends some snack things for them if they come over here and last time I took them out gave me £20 for their food.

When ds has ever gone anywhere with this family (usually the beach or somewhere that doesn't cost to go in) I always send a packed lunch (to save people having to find something vegi he'll eat), a drink and extra money for icecream, tat, or if he chooses to have something at the place they are eating in he can.

They did once take ds to this place theme park as one of the boys was going there as a birthday treat. Even then I sent money and a drink. They returned the money saying it was a birthday treat and they'd all gone to the pizza place so ds had eaten something there.

They know I am a single parent on a low income. I kind of figured they'd provide something for the boys to eat or give them some money for lunch. At the very least I expected them to come with a drink.

I don't mind buying the icecreams or extra drink if it's a hot day and they run out. But they didn't have any drinks and refused what I offered them.

And when their nan gave me the £20 I though, well at least I don't have to worry too much about the drinks and they can have what they like for lunch now plus icecream, candy floss etc on top without me worrying so much about the cost.
I was just rather dumbstruck at them asking for the money when I dropped them off, particularly when I had explained in the gift shop I had already spent more than the £10 each on them both just for lunch and drinks so if they wanted a gift here I would pay for it but to keep it small.

Darleneconnor I wasn't happy going in the gift shop but the boys seemed to expect that we would. My ds was hopping up and down to leave so he could get on another couple of rides before we had to leave while they seemed determined to find something to buy. But really there wasn't much at all and they completely struggled to find anything that interested them thank goodness.

That's why I explained that really the £10 was spent so we didn't need to hang about hunting for something to buy just for the sake of it. I even added it up with them - £5 lunch, 2x£2 cokes and icecream at £2 a time is more than £10 isn't it... And I'd bought more for them than that!

I don't know. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Like Carrotsandcelery says I probably won't offer to take them anywhere again now because they clearly have no concept of cost and think their entitled to whatever they get which is a shame.

The kids were definitely cheeky but you should have just explained to the nan how much you had spent - especially if you can't afford to be giving money away.

I cannot imagine ever, under any circumstances, spending money like that on a day out. It was very generous of you to take them in the first place. It is a pity no one seems to have taught them how fortunate they are, and how to show appreciation. I imagine this has put you off taking them out again.

Al little off topic, sorry, but do UK theme parks allow you to have picnics in them? We live near a Busch Gardens over here and you are only allowed your own food and drink in the tiny picnic area in the carpark, about ten minutes from the actual theme park, and they search bags so it is hard to sneak anything in... food in those places is abominably over priced and crap...

Gillybean, try not to let it put you off taking the boys out again if your son likes them - I think they probably assumed since when they took your son with them to the theme park they paid all food and drink costs, that you would do the same. It was rude of them, but they probably weren't maliciously trying to embarrass you and spoil the day out. And kids are so ungrateful anyhow... maybe next time just take them somewhere free or cheap, or else make everything super clear before you go so it won't be uncomfortable.

Darlene Connor - love the name :-)

gillybean - you sound too nice and too generous. Bet you all had a good day though. [csmile]

flyingspaghettimonster this theme park is a seaside resort one where anyone can walk in or out but you can only go on the rides if you have the relevant wristband.

So you can go in and out as you like, go on rides (as long as you have the right colour writs band for them) or go along the pier, visit the beach, pop to the shops and food places along the seafront or in town etc and wander in and out of the park as you please.

I think you should have asked them to bring a packed lunch in the first place and shouldn't be afraid to say no to going in the gift shop. Their nan may have not been up to speed with what was happening - I think in the end it was badly organised, you have to tell people what is needed not trust them to figure it out themselves, (especially if they're being looked after by someone other than normal).