My DD is 12 weeks old. My DH's parents have several grandchildren, of which mine is the youngest. She is also my PFB! DH's parents look after all their grandchildren (except DD) when their parents work.
They are very good with their grandchildren but resolutely ignore parents' instructions in relation to food. For example, my SD is 5 and in danger of becoming fat. Her mum and DH have asked grandparents to give her fruit only after school. Grandparents regularly give her sandwiches, cake, ice cream etc in spite of this and then blame her mum for the fact she is a little chubby. DH's niece (10 months) is regularly fed cake despite requests for her to only be given her packed lunch. When DH's SIL printed a list of meal times and approved foods (which I thought was a sensible non-confrontational way to deal with the issue), parents-in-law were offended and still take the mickey behind her back. So there are issues with them and food.
When we were there on Easter Sunday for a big family meal, my FIL was holding DD and dipped his finger into some double cream and fed it to her! I was absolutely dumbfounded but managed to not lose temper and just tried to look disapproving. My MIL then asked if DD wanted a yoghurt! At least she asked and I was able to politely point out that she is not yet weaned and therefore cannot have food.
But when I attempted to politely ask FIL not to do that in future, he got cross with me and said that they have raised children before and know what they're doing.
When I go back to work I have asked parents in law to look after DD one afternoon a week (not my preferred childcare but they'd be offended if not asked to help). I'm really worried now. DH is great and has spoken to them and has to regularly about his DD1 but the problem is they just ignore him! I now am feeling v reluctant to let them look after DD. AIBU?