AIBU?
To think a ceiling fitting doesn't just fall down on it's own?
notremotelyintofootie · 26/04/2011 11:17
ok.... Dsd is 16, ds (11) was away for the weekend nd as dsd was due over I thought it would be a good idea to let dsd sleep in ds's room on the futon so we could use his tv/sky and it would save having to move dd(17 months) into the travel cot in our room just before dh was due to start a run of night shifts.... Dsd liked the idea!
Dsd was her usual teenage catatonic self but wr took her out and about, encouraged her to revise etc and yesterday morning I wad going to drive her home (3 hour round trip! But dh didn't want her to do the 45 min train ride.... Arghhhh!) anyway, I went into ds's room to fold up the futon and check she hadn't forgetten anything and found the entire light fitting on the floor! It had basically been ripped from the ceiling! Wires snapped etc!
I asked dh if she had said anything to him, she hadn't so I asked her what had happened.... She claims it fell down while she was asleep! I asked when, she said a few days ago!! I asked her if she had knocked it or caught it while getting stuff off of ds's high sleeper (no idea why she took his pillows and duvet as well as all the ones I had given her!) and again she said no!
I asked her why hadn't she told us it fell down and she just shrugged so I told her I didn't believe her and that fact she didn't tell us just leads me to think she didn't want to say anything as she would get told off!
I told her it dishonesty that I hate and if he accidentally pulled it down then fine as long as she is honest with me and tells me!
Dh has spoken to her since I dropped her home and insists she is telling the truth and even suggested it was ds's fault! We have lived her over a year and no problems with light fittings... Dsd is in the room 1 day and it 'falls' down!
aibu to 1) be bloody annoyed with dsd
2) to not believe her and 3) to want dh to stop 'defending' dsd and blaming ds!
Atwaroverscrabble · 06/05/2011 21:56
Quick update and new developments on this issue...
Nothing has been said since dsd went home, but tonight ds came down with the light fitting, it has fallen again... I said perhaps I didnt wire it up tightly enough... Ok I'll fix it tomorrow when I have a decent amount of time to do it properly...
Dh hit the roof! He is demanding that I call dsd and apologise to her, that I am a hypocrite and that he cannot be in the same room as me! I ave said that what upset me before was that she didnt tell us about it when it happened but next time she is over I will chat to her, that's not good enough apparently and he was actually going to call her so I could apologise!!! Ffs! I walked away and told him to stop over reacting and being like a 15 year old! I am so annoyed with his dramatics... Tonight was supposed to be our nice night together relaxing and perhaps you know what( been about 2 months!) but now because he ia having a tantrum it's ruined! Arghhhhh
Atwaroverscrabble · 06/05/2011 22:12
I have texted her, she doesnt talk on the phone tbh, just grunts and 9 times out of 10 doesn't answer it anyway.... She should be over sometime this month for 6th form interview too and I will chat to her then, I just object to dh's attitude and ranting!
heleninahandcart · 07/05/2011 00:18
I would apologise asap tomorrow. She deserves to know there was a problem with the fitting, she is 16, doing exams and may be fretting about it all ie not being believed. DP has overreacted but if you get in quick, he can't complain.
Yes she should have told you, but she's 16 and may not even have noticed or if she did, not taken it as important.
lesley33 · 07/05/2011 00:31
I would have phoned and apologised. At 16 it would really really have upset me to be accused of lying in this way if I hadn't. I would have accepted the criticism of not saying anything when it happened, but being accused of lying when I hadn't would have been a big deal for me.
I think apologising by text is a bit cowardly tbh.
jade80 · 07/05/2011 00:32
What are you on about helen? There wasn't a problem with the fitting- not until it had 'fallen' down once anyway.
OP, stick to your guns. It only fell down again because it needed attaching better! Like you say it has been fine before. Also the fact she didn't mention it- probably more of an issue than her knocking it down in the first place (which was presumably an accident).
izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 07/05/2011 00:42
I've never known a ceiling light to come crashing down of its own accord.
You mentioned a high sleeper in the room used by your dsd. The most likely scenario is that your dsd managed to get the duvet caught on the light when she carelessly or contemptuously dragged the bedding off.
Of course she didn't tell you, and of course she didn't own up - that's par for the course.
The fact that the light's fallen down again suggests that you need to take a look at whatever is holding it to the joist, and this may give you some clue as to what originally occurred.
Unless there's woodworm in the joist, or some other fault has caused the fixing to become destablised, you've no need to apologise.
Atwaroverscrabble · 07/05/2011 07:57
The main light rose is still attached to the ceiling, it's snapped where the dangling wire attaches to the bit that holds the bulb which is why it looks like it has perhaps been caught by the duvet or someone grabbing the lampshade/fitting while standing on the futon beneath the high sleeper (perhaps to balance...). I never accused her of doing it on purpose I just pointed out to her that by not telling us it had fallen down suggested she was trying to hide it... She was about to go home and still hadn't said anything!
Dp has agreed he was ott last night but is still trying to suggest that the original
'falling' was ds's fault even though it had been fine for a year of just ds being in there and yet Within a day or two of dsd being in there and the fact she took all of ds's bedding down and is very likely to have caught it.... 
Oh and she has forgot that it happened within a day or two of being home so she isn't sat there worrying....
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