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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be cross with DH

9 replies

Mumofjz · 26/04/2011 00:13

DH has stopped smoking over 3 mths now but had a sneaky one tonight which he told me about and i was so furious with him - AIBU?

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 26/04/2011 00:15

Of course you are. It's up to him. Interestingly, I saw a promotional stall for E-lites today- if you google them, they are worth looking into.

Original poster
Mumofjz · 26/04/2011 00:17

but it's not just him giving up effects - his mood swings when stopping etc effects ALL the family and it means we have to go back to the start again!!!

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 26/04/2011 00:20

Should you not be trying to brush it off 'ahh well, you slipped up but don't let it make you feel like you've failed so you might as well have more'?

Stressing him out about it will just make him want a fag won't it?

Him being angry with you might override any thoughts he has of keeping up his good work, might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb.

BitOfFun · 26/04/2011 00:30

Here you go. I tried one of these today and was seriously impressed. I'm going to go back to the stall this week and get some. It eliminates the negative effects of smoking, but allows you the experience of having a ciggie without stinking other people out. Genuinely, it feels like a fag, gives you the buzz, yet gets rid of the dangers and passive smoking. Look into it- I'm going to. It's much cheaper than smoking.

Bogeyface · 26/04/2011 00:32

It doesnt mean you have to go back to the start at all!

He had one fag, not a whole packet! And he told you about it, probably not thinking that you would over react and make him want to smoke more!

madhattershouse · 26/04/2011 00:33

YABU. I gave up for a while many moons ago and did have a sneeky smoke a while later. It was only 1 and it re-affirmed that I no longer wanted the evil weed! He confessed and it was only 1..if he had smoked 1 a day for a week it may be a problem but the withdrawal symptoms will not re-appear after a single sneeky!

AlmightyCitrus · 26/04/2011 00:36

YANBU to be cross, but try and keep a lid on it.

Rage silently, while outwardly saying "never mind dear, it was just the one".

Tomorrow is another day etc...

PigletJohn · 26/04/2011 00:38

Some people say that however long they give up for, as soon as they have a single cig, they're back to being a smoker again.

If that is the case with your DH then you can reasonably be annoyed at the waste of three months effort.

Others claim they are not addicts and can have one and stop whenever they want to

Hmmmmmm

Original poster
Mumofjz · 26/04/2011 17:22

He has tried on more than one occasion to give up and it's always around 3 mths he thinks he has beaten it and he can become a casual smoker (obviously not!!!) It annoys me because when we have spoken in the past about it, he said that he can't see himself NEVER smoking again!!!!!!! I gave up 3 years ago (after 3 unseuccessful attempts only lasting days not months) and i can't seem to get him to realise that HE needs to see himself as a NON SMOKER who will never ever smoke again rather than someone who is able to dip in and out of it as they please.
I did bite my tongue and never mentioned it, he is as pee'd off as me that he did it but past experience tells me that in another couple of weeks he'll have started again :(

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