Well... am I?

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

DH's father and step mother own a caravan, and we often rent the van from them. We have always paid towards the rental.
A long time ago, we found out that some of the other children did not pay for rental, mostly DH's step sister, and brother, but we were told that it was because they had children and we did not.
When we had DD, just before she turned one, we went down to the van and we were charged.
This year, we have asked for the van in the summer hols as DD is at school and we dont want to take her out for holidays. I am pg and due in a few weeks, the van is a convenient location as it isn't too far from home, so we can come home early if we need to.
FIL & MIL have recently got a newer van. FIL & MIL said that because it was a new van, and because we were going in the holidays, they would have to charge us. Which we said was fine.
Last week, DH was chatting with his brother (who can be a bit of an arse...) who mentioned they were going down to the van a week before us (still in the six weeks holidays). BIL was laughing at us, saying we were foolish for paying for the van, and he hadn't paid for the van for years.
I have never had objections paying for the van, I understand that they need to cover ground rent, and its cheaper than what we would be charged if we were renting somewhere else. But I feel a bit... narky... that DH get charged for the use of the van when nobody else appears to.
I don't want this to cause a family argument, but wwyd?

I would go and stay in a different caravan and leave them all to it.

I'd still pay my way...as you say it's much cheaper.

But yes, I would be confused as to why no-one else is paying?

I'd be p*ssed off too. But you agreed to pay for the van so I don't see you can do anything about it if you don't want to cause an argument other than poissibly asking (or dh asking) your in laws why they are charging you and letting bil stay for nothing.

Are you much better off than bil and family (or is there a way that pils could perceive you to be)?

Agree with squeakytoy

why put money in their pockets? Let them charge strangers the full whack
you won't want to go on holiday that heavily pregnant anyway

Why doesn't your DH ask why you lot have to pay but the others don't? There might be a genuine reason ( perhaps your wild rock'n'roll reputation makes them fear for the state of the caravan once you've slung a TV through the window)

But I'd want to ask if it was my parents.

The 2nd baby will have arrived by the time we go on hols, am due in a few weeks and hols not until Aug.
I did wonder whether the paying thing is down to a thought that we are "better off" than the other children, which is not the bloody case. We unfortunately have lots of bills to pay, and though I have a good job, DH's is often in the balance due to the industry, and last year he was unemployed for six months so we're only really getting back on our feet. Plus I'll be on reduced pay then anyway.
I don't mind paying if everybody pays, but am feeling a bit stung that it appears we may be the only ones who do pay.

Id ask why the other family didnt have to pay, rather than why do you have to. Say to smil its not fair on them, that the others arent paying their way. would really really annoy me and id badger dh until he rang them to get an answer but im like that ha ha!

I agree with others, its not unreasonable to ask you to pay, but it is being a bit unreasonable to let the others stay charge free.

I'd say that if you are still getting it cheaper, and you like that area ect, still go and pay. You could ask DH to raise it with his father? But then you might get a "you are being ungrateful" speech.

I'd do nothing. Parents treat their children differently. Me and my siblings have had a hand from my parents from time to time with different things and to different extents. Your PILs arrangements with your DH's siblings are nothing to do with you and your DH. I'd concentrate on my own relationship with the PILs and take no notice of what others are getting (or not getting).

BIL and FIL have always had a bit of an interesting relationship. I don't want to say anything to MIL because I have a sneaky suspicion that she doesn't know BIL doesn't pay, as BIL says he will pay when he gets back, and I do wonder whether FIL is just telling MIL that BIL has paid, but he hasn't iyswim.
DH has said he wants to talk to FIL about it, but we prob wont do so until we get back from the hols. Don't want to start a big family argument.

I would want to know why anyone is paying. Unless my parents are super generous (and they are TBH), they wouldn't dream of charging family for using their caravan.

YANBU i would be very cross if we were the only ones paying out of all the siblings but like kreecher my parents or inlaws would never charge their children for something like this.

We're not wanting to not pay this year, we have said we'd pay. So our options are:

1. raise it after the holiday as a question, for if we want to rent the van the following year
2. never rent it again on principal?

We have always looked after the van, and tend to us that more than the hundreds of others we could use further up the coast because DH's family live around the corner from the site, so we tend to use the van as a base to visit them and go for dinner with them in the evening rather than having to drive afterwards.

what you seem to be saying, is that BIL is a bit of a freeloader, and says he'll pay, then doesn't.

And you are not like that :) So carry on, what is a mutually beneficial arrangement. I can't see how you can raise it wihtout having a row. Why cut off you nose to spite your face?

MIL and FIL are lovely, I really get on with them, and I totally understand them charging, and would never want to start an arguement with them (I'm anything for an easy life!).

DH may mention it to his dad at some point in the future, but not at the moment, we've both things on our mind what with DD being poorly and this pregnany taking its toll on me.

I think you should be arguing why does the other family not pay, rather than why do you pay. If your parents are retired, that bit of money will help them out.

Your bil doesn't sound very nice from his reaction. Could it be that he was being charged for it but just didn't pay and your inlaws just don't want to keep asking and make an issue out of it?

From what I understand, BIL is "charged" and says he'll pay after the holiday, and then never pays.

BIL is the problem. He sounds a bit unpleasant.

But he's the ILs problem not yours.

I shall try not to let the thing bug me from now on. Unpleasant is one word to describe. I try not to vent too much on mn about him in case family are members, but he can be a real pain!

Your BIL is a total trouble maker and probably doing a lot of freeloading - more fool your ILs for having him back.

If it's cheaper and you like it then you should go there.

You could mention him not paying, but it would probably only cause more trouble.

Unless your real name is ElfOnTHeTopShelf, you proabably don't need to worry about them being on here!