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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have let my neighbour help me with my gardening?

34 replies

KidderminsterKate · 25/04/2011 20:58

I live in a semi and have new neighbours who moved in about 2 months or so ago. Not seen that much of them but have had v brief exchanges etc...they're a couple with a son who's about the same age as my youngest.

Anyhow, I have quite a large garden and its a bit of a nightmare that I struggle to keep on top of. The back of the garden is ridiculously overgrown so this weekend I decided to get on top of it. Anyhow, yesterday I cut down all the brambles etc and cleared the area. Today, I again piled the kids into the garden and carried on with clearing the area. About an hr after my neighbour came out to mow his lawn. Their garden is fab....very sleek and neat. ANyhow, his son was watching my kids over the fence on the trampoline so I asked if he wanted to come over which he did and actually the boys got on really well...I'm pleased because DS has 3 sisters.

So my neighbour poked his head over the fence after he'd mowed the lan and saw me trying to dig up all the bush stumps and offered to come over and help....I said that's be great if he was sure he didnt mind and anyway he came and helped me clear the area.

aNYHOW, his wife or gf (not sure) poked her head over the fence and said 'oh there you are'. He showed her the work he'd helped me do and I said again how greatful I was. ANyhow, I offered her a drink....as we were all having one and she declined as she had just got back from work and was going to cook her supper. ANyhow, it all seemed ok and about 10 mins after the neighbour and son went home. I invited the son to come and play again when he could as the boys really seemed to hit it off and he seemed delighted by this.

So, I've fed and bathed the kids now and was just out in the back putting away the tools and sorting my recycling out when I heard my neighbours having a bit of a heared exchange about me. I feel shite. She was cross with him and he was kind of saying he felt sorry for me and stayed longer than he had wanted. She was saying I had taken advantage of his good nature and she was also commenting negatively on my living situation.

I feel like I've horribly misjudged the situation and wonder whetehr he did feel obliged to stay when I accepted his help. I did say at one point he must have more interesting things to do but he said he would only be mooching at home with his DS anyhow.

I was going to give them some eggs as a thankyou tomorrow but now I'm not sure

OP posts:
HalfPastWine · 27/04/2011 00:24

Haven't read all the thread so I could be repeating ...

I don't think he stayed longer than he wanted, that was an excuse to get the wife off his back.

The wife - she feels threatened by you.

sausagesandmarmelade · 27/04/2011 07:26

VERY well handled....

Agree that she would be "mortified" if she knew that you'd overheard their arguament.

I think it's nice that people are still neighbourly...and help each other.
Don't understand why others would object to their partners helping someone out....

DoingTheBestICan · 27/04/2011 07:37

Op you sound like a lovely neighbour & i would love to have you as one of mine.

She probably feels a bit shit with herself now,i think you have done nothing wrong at all.

Good luck for the future.

porcamiseria · 27/04/2011 08:23

she is just jealous, came home from a shitty day at work likely and saw DH helping a strange woman, knee jerk reaction . leave it now

springbokdoc · 27/04/2011 08:39

Ah I'm glad it seems to be working out well.

I can imagine me being that woman Blush. You come home after being stuck in working on a beautiful day, hoping dh may have started dinner, sorted out the mess in the kitchen, sorted out that dodgy shelf etc etc and where is he?? Next door clearing someone else's garden!! I'd probably have a go at him too but would be mortified if my neighbour heard me!

Hope your son has a new friend :)

iscream · 27/04/2011 09:11

She'll come round for coffee and realize what a nice person you are. years from now, when your dd is marrying her son, it will all be forgotten.

oldraver · 27/04/2011 09:18

OP... You dont have to explain or justify yourself at all, especially to someone who is so obviously judgey without even talking to you

oldraver · 27/04/2011 09:20

Meant to add..... hopefully it was just a bad moment day as in the way Sprinbokdoc pointed out

queenceleste · 27/04/2011 09:27

just keep being yourself and pretend it didn't happen.
Life's too short to try to be someone you aren't.
It sounds like their ds had a ball, that's worth hours and hours of gardening in my book!
A happy child is a priceless thing.
My friend helped me clear my garden. She offered, I accepted, she said she loves it, I looked after her dd while she did it, that's what you do..
She may be one of those hyper jealous women too, or a woman who doesn't trust him and has good reason not to!!
Not your problem though, just let it be and time will tell.
Happy kids are more important than all that nonsense imho.

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