To wonder why I bother?

[MrBloomEatsVeggies]

When I was little (many moons ago) we (my sisters and I) were never taken anywhere. No egg hunts, no theme parks, no ice skating, no meals in restaurants, no big parks, no picnics, no softplay, nada. We went on holiday in the UK once a year. I was happy, I was outside, I played alone for hours making mud pies and stuff, if I was bored, I was told to 'go read a book'.

Main thing is, I was happy, and I look back nostalgically.

My 2 DS's (4 & 2) have most of the the above trips/treats. I play with them, they have great stuff (toys etc). Are they happy? No, they aren't. Everything I take them to/do for them (in the main) they moan about/strop about.

Spent today doing nice things, but my 4 year old whinged constantly.

WIBU to never bother again, get rid of their toys, stop the outings and kick them outside in the garden with a book? I doubt they'd moan any less.

I've never thought deprivation was a positive alternative but actually, I do think that expectations are a tad high nowadays! So a little less materialism and a little more self-reliance wouldn't hurt any child.

I had very similiar upbringing. Lots of freedom in ruralville but we didn't live near anything 'entertaining' except for the libraries ( we could walk to 3 different ones, oooh).

My 6 yr old had recently begun muttering that phrase "I am bored..."
And I have turned into some grumpy old bat who roars "Bored? Bored? How can you be bored? You have rooms full of toys, a huge garden full of toys. Only boring people are bored. Read a book."

You probably moaned as well....you just can't remember!

I did once hear myself screeching, in crone-like manner "Bored!! You children don't know the meaning of bored!!"

I probably did K999, my parents were paid up members of the Benign Parenting Club. Which, of course, brought about problems when I became a Wild Teen, which is another story.

K999 - but it was boring where I lived. So we could moan about it! It really really was. Unless you like watching grass grow, there was plenty of that.

I do think being bored sometimes is quite good for a child. Bloody hard on the parent, but they do eventually get a bit more self-reliant and use their imaginations. DS3 will strop off upstairs because he's bored, and then have a happy hour playing with his Lego.

And you can overload a child, too - sometimes they need days to just potter round the house doing sod all.

And yes, I'm sure you did your share of wingeing too - we all did.

THANK GOD ds has never said this to me, his cousins hoowever......

If they are not on play box station wee typey thingies, then they are BORED.

Its like i am torturing them by forcing them out into the sunshine onto a brand new built park and wooded pathway with activities.

I have now stopped asking them to come with us becuase of it. (Thet are 8 & 9 btw)

I remember being bored as a child. My Mum was quite often heard saying "Only boring people get bored dear."

I use to fantasize about all the fun I'd get up when I grew up. We did live in the middle of nowhere though.

Me and my friends constantly say this about our kids. The thing is tho it is US that are taking them to softplay/restaurants/farms ect.

We are the ones that are making them think this is normal - my dc's are happiest in their sandpit or running around the park.

When I was a kid we went to the farm/zoo for birthdays and eating in a restaurant was something you did only abroad on a yearly holiday.

I read somewhere that when we were kids in the 70's and 80's the popular opinion was that kids fitted in with you wheras now its the other way round. I dont know whats way is better but I hate having to feel like "entertaining" my little darlings at the weekends/after school ect. YANBU/YABU whichever way!

I am sure most adults have forgotten how moany and ungrateful they could seem on a bad day. I had far more facilities than dcs have- woods that I could go into on my own from an early age, skating pond in winter just outside our house, snow for skiing, beach in the summer and boats- I still moaned when I was in a moany mood.

It's not that my DS's say that they're bored as such. It's that whatever they are doing, it always ends up in tears.

Today we flew kites. I loved kites when I was little. But the kites not big enough, the winds not strong enough, the tails not long enough, it's not working, I can't do it, it's too hot etc. Then DS2's kite is better, it flies better, I want that one etc.

So DS1 tries to take DS2's kite and all hell breaks lose. I was trying to do an activity that I thought they'd really enjoy, but it almost always end up like this.

Hence the 'Why do I bother'.

i had a fantastic childhood.. but i do remember telling my mum i was bored - mostly i wanted a sibling (mine was 7 yrs younger so not much fun for me). i think it's great that my mum told me that 'only boring people get bored' and she gave me ideas of what to do but didn't really pander to 'i'm bored' and she basically told me to get a grip (but not in so many words).

• apologies for the missed apostrophe's!

*and the added one's!

I bet you did moan, and you just don't remember that!

I think it might be more the age of your DCs as well - my DS was just like that at 4 -didn't matter if we did nothing or loads its wasn't right but at 5.5 he appricates things far more and is much less fuss

Not to the extent that mine do, I'm sure of that!!

I had similar thought about my 2 DDs last week.
I decided to cut back on all the nice treats they have been getting (meals out, dessert out, hotel breaks, softplay, days out with their friends) - as they seem to feel entitled to them, and don't appreciate them. They enjoy these events, but don't think they are anything special.

I'm hoping by spreading things out they may come to appreciate such treats when they get them.

You could be right crw1234...I can't imagine DS1 being an easy child, I hope he is eventually.

I think kids today expect to be entertained all the time, which means they cannot concentrate for long in school and expect entertainment in lessons too. I had a similar upbringing to the OP; the library was our biggest treat and we took out the maximum number of books at a time. I provided so much entertainment for my own children that my son would beg to be left in peace to read a book!

I can heartily empathise OP. Sometimes I look at my whingy moany (sometimes) almost 4 DS and I think ' you ungrateful so and so'. We also do so much for him, taking him places etc, but maybe that's the problem that we make him the centre of our world. Maybe it wasn't like that in days gone by.

In days gone by "kids were seen and not heard"....nowadays kinds are seen AND heard (very loudly in my DDs case)!!!

TBH I think some children are just whingy! I could give Ds1 the moon on a stick and most of the time it still wouldn't make him happy. He is a glass is half full child, and I suspect he will always have a tendency to be like that.

DS2 is v different, I took him to London yesterday and he was v happy to sit in the park and have a picnic, do some paddling, walk about and watch street entertainers. That would never have kept DS1 entertained at any age.

Mind you my DS1 did moan as this week we have "only" been to soft play, swimming, a film, and the park a number of times