In thinking in laws don't really think much about my kids?

[goingmadinthecountry]

After I upset sil at Christmas - very minor imo and she is nearly 50 - ils have decided not to speak to me. They live in the local village (1.5m at most) but have not made any effort to see our 4 children since, even on youngest dd's 7th birthday. MIL texted dh yesterday - hello we have chocolate for the children if they want to come and get it love mum - dh hasn't replied yet as we were out all day. Whatever they think of me (never liked me anyway) is this not a bit pathetic? Older kids aren't bothered tbh (17, 15, 14) but think they are being very daft. They do have a history of falling out with family members. Can't really see how it will improve from here.

They're determined not to be seen as being disloyal to your SILs family think well of you aren't they?

My SIL is needy the apple of PIL eye and her and her DC get lavished with attention and time while we don't really see or hear from them.

When we told PIL about me being preganant she said 'I hope you're not expecting us to babysit because we've done our duty (for SIL)'.

Possibly not happy because me and DH had only known each other for two months been together 10 years now

So I know how you feel, but I've accepted how things are and am totally normal when I'm around them but just don't make any effort to contact them anymore.

Just shut them off in your mind and don't let it touch you, get on with life and try to avoid being drawn into their pettiness.

I am still seething that last year on my son's birthday, my SIL did not turn up to our party as her DD was 'ill' - but then phoned my PILs to hurry them up to leave us, as they were babysitting to enable her and her husband to go out and celebrate a friend's birthday!
I mean, I can see how crap that is - but it still doesn't stop it really being upsetting and me just wishing that DS had an aunt who would actually care enough about him to prioritise him above her friends.
She also can't cope with me having opinions. It's clear that we will never 'get on' beyond the most superficial pleasantries, but I have been brought up that family comes first and I find it very hard to accept her ways.
Sorry for hijack and rant as well!

YANBU. I think it's strange that people think that highly educated parents in some random field would no more about educating children than a teacher. I think you would have done them a disservice not to have mentioned your concerns. They sound petty and odd.

personally, i would like to have had the information that you gave sil. sounds like you were speaking of your experience as a parent with children who had been moved from the school rather than a teacher. for goodness sake half the world gets over enthusiastic about something...doesn't mean you have to fall out over it. sil seems a bit touchy if you ask me. if she had a problem with what you said she should have spoken to you about it, then you would presumably apologised for getting over enthusiastic.

enjoy the peace of not having pils talking to you.