MIL niggles

[lakelandlass]

Know from horror stories on here that I a quite lucky with Mil. However, I am feeling a bit put out at moment. Been round there today. With Dh, dc, sil and bil. At lunch we were all drinking wine. My glass is completely empty. Her daughters husband has a little left. Brings in bottle and offers bil a top up. Ignores me and dh for that matter. Later that day phones up and asks to speak to "your lord and master". Meaning dh. Also signed East card Love mum which I feel is a little insensitive as lost my mum 4 weeks ago.

She sounds Luke an ignorant, insensitive twunt.

Have a ((((Lakelandlass)))

(Hello, new here)

Sounds like she has no manners but perhaps she didn't think before she put 'mum' in the card. What does she normally write if she sends a Christmas card, for example?

Sorry to hear about your mum - she's being very insensitive. My MIL has a bit of a bee in her bonnet a the moment that I and her son-in-law don't call her and her DH 'mum and dad'. My dad died a few years - no way on earth I'm calling someone else dad, and as she's not my mum, I'm not calling her mum!!!

Sorry for your loss but would it not be odd not to write 'from mum' in her sons card, she is his mum and just as imortant to him as your mum was to you, iykwim.

None of what you have written sounds that bad tbh.

But the easter card was to you and your husband wasnt it? she is hardly going to sign it from "doris" or whatever her name is when one of the recipients is her son.

The wine thing was probably an oversight, I would have just said "pass the bottle down please!"...

I honestly think you are feeling this way at the moment because its so soon after losing your mum. Its quite normal, and lots of daft things seem irritating for quite a few months.

I accept that Mrs bananagrabber. I know i am being touchy at the mo. I think I would have just preferred not to receive a card this year as I don't really feel up to celebrating anything.

I'll swap your MIL for dh's SIL

I think like others the wine was an oversight. The Lord and master thing was a poor attempt at a joke and the mum thing plenty does my MIL does this I know she doesnt do it to be hurtful. I do understand it uncomfortable and very sensitive to you but I honestly do not think she meant any harm.

Interestingly when I got together with dh (17 years ago) I was adament I would never use mum and dad to my inlaws though both their other inlaws used it. FFW 17 years down the lane and I find myself at times calling her mum (but more by her first name) she responds too when I call her it laughs.. but that has come slowly and over many years and I will also say I love her dearly wouldnt be without her in my life.

So sorry to hear about your mum but as for your MIL I honestly dont think it was intended as mean ..

[busmile] do the cat thing if you have one laughs..

Sorry about your mum.
I think the wine thing was rude, the phone call was stupid..

But how would you expect her to sign the card? If it was sent to her son and his family I don't see why her writing "mum" on it was so wrong, she is your husbands mum after all

I think the Op is probably feeling very fragile
It can hurt to receive a card signed Mum when your own mum has just passed, I got a condolence card from my MIL after my mother died, signed mum.
It hurt