Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to not want to be guilt tripped?

50 replies

yummybutterbiscuit · 25/04/2011 15:23

had a falling out with my mum yesterday because I didnt go to church....

I work all weekend in a pub, so have a long lie on sundays. was going to MILs for sunday lunch at 2, so wouldnt be able to go to an evening mass, and becase I work all weekend, I didnt make it to any of the other easter masses.

so at 12pm on sunday I got a phonecall from my mum asking if I had been to church, I said no, I slept in and was now on the train on the way to MILs. All I got in response was an 'ok, bye' and then she hung up on me.

about 2 mins later I got another phonecall from her, and I answered expecting an apology for being short with me. INstead I got a shouting crying phonecall telling me that I'd 'broken her heart' and 'how can she not hate my OH because its his fault'. He's agnostic but does support me with the fact that I am religious.

I stayed silent on the phone, until she hung up on me again, I then texted my dad to say that th phonecall had been really unfair, and that they need to let my be an adult and make my own decisions about whether or not I go to church.

And the annoying thing is that I would still class myself as a practising catholic, I just dont think going to church every sunday is the be-all and end-all of faith. I can be lazy about going to church, and I know its laziness, but I always have a busy weekend and am tired by sunday. I dont think my mum gets that its not a personal slight against her if I dont go to church.

So basically, AIBU to not have got in touch with her since then? IM waiting for an apology, but so is she apparantly. but I havnt done anything I need to apologise for, have I???

OP posts:

Rohanda · 30/04/2011 00:30

yes custardo. Excepting the rubbing out bit. And dinosaurs.

But god is a forgiving god. God is really yourself.

Maryz · 30/04/2011 00:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortington · 30/04/2011 00:31

never read the bible it was all google

i have always held the belief that the bible was a man made construct - guidelines and stories

but god wrote through man? i think not. i think holy books are misused and cause death and destruction and subjugation. misappropriate power, allow secrecy all the bad things that we as catholics can't even defend. the bible wrotten by god - to be taken literally?

bollocks, bullshit and bollocks

Rohanda · 30/04/2011 00:34

but I'd suggest you aren't being even 'spiritual' from what you say. Just a bit too lazy to give it any consideration. But then that's your sort of religion, as you say.

Tortington · 30/04/2011 00:35

i have a bible, been to many many masses.

ive listened to priests good and pure hearted = and other priests homophobes and mysoginists.

i left a church becuase an old dodderer new priest had a power trip over the congregation using a mass sheet

a fucking mass sheet -we should know it - he argued. they should only be for people who don't

he obviously didn't realise we all read the fucking notices on the back whilst that stupid old dodderer went on with his all so powerful almighty self

Rohanda · 30/04/2011 00:36

custardo - no, it was never intended as to be 'wrote by God' excepting the Commandments, which are also specified in just about all religions, as a way of living.

Tortington · 30/04/2011 00:37

it was a shame too, becuase it ws a lovely church with a replica of the cistine chapel on the roof - always good too look up and marvel when the priest was lecturing.

im a grown up for fucks sake

Rohanda · 30/04/2011 00:41

we are grown ups. But still with a lot to learn, as a child like existence. This is also evident in most religions - not being patronising, just recognising there is a very long way to acheive a state of grace.

Tortington · 30/04/2011 00:42

st.peter said it wasn;t amatter of interpretation but divine inspiration fromt he holy spirit or sommat

Tortington · 30/04/2011 00:43

ah, but what is grace?

Maryz · 30/04/2011 00:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ifitsnotanarse · 30/04/2011 00:56

To be fair, you can't be that much of a practising Catholic if you can't drag your arse to church on Easter Sunday. Yes your mother's reaction was bonkers, of course it was but even so, if there is one day of the year you should make an effort it was that one.

No, that's Christmas Day and only so you can see what everyone is wearing

Rohanda · 30/04/2011 01:01

Grace? briefly? It's a lack of ego. A lack of judging others. A willingness to see the greatness in yourself, but not belittle anyone else for your strength. Again, every religion has this - Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buhdism and Christianity - as a goal to reach for. Why? Because therein lies happiness. But not an easy road to follow.

maryz - doubt is an utterly esential element of any faith. Without it you have no reason to 'pratice'.

Rohanda · 30/04/2011 01:05

and for first-time bible-readers, try replacing every reference to 'God', with 'me'. It makes so much more sense, esp. the New Testamant.

Tortington · 30/04/2011 01:07

easter is more important than christmas - but that still doens't excuse shitty mum behaviour

off to read other posts brb

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 30/04/2011 01:08

All that non-judgypants stuff didn't last long, did it?

If Henry VIII hadn't freed England from the yoke of Rome we would still be communicating by windmills and beacons, and heretics would still be regularly burned at the stake.

If this means the CofE isn't a 'serious' religion I might sign up'cos I'm always up for a laugh. More tea, Vicar?

Rock on Brian - always look on the bright side...

Tortington · 30/04/2011 01:09

but why does my happiness matter? ver selfish

and and and the thing im stuck on at the mo - is why would a god want me to worship him.

give him thanks - ok

but worship?

its a recent revelation but my sticking point

Tortington · 30/04/2011 01:10

oh the windmills

Rohanda · 30/04/2011 01:12

well, CoE has never presented itself as a 'serious' religion, has it? Ever? Just a sort of 'quick-fix' for a monarch in England who wanted a male child. Not much to laud there is there?

Rohanda · 30/04/2011 01:21

custardo - it ISN'T selfish! Because you are loving yourself! And accepting that ( that you are lovable) means you are able to love others, and accept others and be patient and understand their foibles and faults, BECAUSE...you accept your own faults etc. The trick, and demand, is to work on your own failings ( which means worshiping yourself) and so thereby be in a position to assist others - love thy neighbour?
It's all pretty simple - a sort of self-generating goodness that gets spread. Main thing is, lose your ego. A difficult thing to ponder, but realise you are god, but you are also nothing. Again, every religion has this.

Tortington · 30/04/2011 01:36

i am so GRACEY. i love myself muchly

Tortington · 30/04/2011 01:36

yes i am god

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 30/04/2011 02:22

There was a tad more to it than Henry VIII's desire for a male heir; namely, the Protestant Reformation which came about because of the corruption endemic in the Roman Catholic Church - sadly, in that respect not much has changed.

hairfullofsnakes · 30/04/2011 05:53

Everything that custard said! Write it all in a letter and send it her! If she wants to use catholic 'guilt' on you use it back at her!

Animation · 30/04/2011 06:41

I hope you tell your mum that those tactics don't work on you.

Flip

1 2