AIBU: Bedtimes

[Counterstrike]

To send my DD(13) to bed at 9pm, the same time as her brother(11) and sister(4)?

im in the get them to bed at the same time, so i get an hour to wind down before i have to go to bed camp. my 4, 7 and 11 yr olds all go to bed at 8pm. the 4 and 11 yr old share a room. so the 11 yr old goes to bed and to sleep, no reading or tv. the 11 yr old has never once compained and is always the one who sleeps latest and gets up later on the weekend. he aint maonaing so it can stay that way!
do your lot share rooms?

Could there possibly be a problem with your 13yo waking up in the mornings because they are over sleeping?

Im 46 and never had a bedtime at 13.

I have two sons 17 and 23 and they never had a bed time either at 13, they went when they were tired, and always got up for school no problem.

There comes a time when you have to allow a teenager to be able to start doing things for themselves rather than baby them.

3 year old 7:30pm, unless I'm late back from a lecture, so 8 - 8:30pm

At 11, I was allowed 9pm. At 13, I was allowed 10pm... Although, my niece, also 13, seems to be up at midnight some nights

All of mine went to bed at about 9pm from when they started school, (yes 4 years old) and no they were not and never have been sleep deprived! They then woke at about 7am just about right for school.

What I don't understand is people who put their DC's to bed at 7-7.30pm, then complain that they are up at 5am as the DC's have had a good sleep and want to be up and about.

9 pm for a four year-old. My 4 yo DS goes to bed at 7 - otherwise he malfunctions the next day.

Sorry, I meant "9 pm for a four year-old???" D'oh!

conflugg yes, 9pm for a 4 year old. All 3 of my DS's were the same, all needed very little sleep and were very, very active during the day. In order to keep my sanity, they had late bedtimes so got up at a reasonable time in the morning.

Otherwise I think I might have been like a gerbil and eaten them

Now the youngest DS is 11 years old, Y6 at school and is never in bed much before 10pm. Still gets up at 7am no problems.

I teach secondary students and I wish more people would put their children to bed at 9! 10 is too late for younger teenagers who need to get up for school. Teenagers need more sleep than younger children (i.e. 7 year olds etc) as at adolescence their brain has a second burst of activity as they have when under 3 years old. I agree that a four year old should be in bed earlier though!

ModreB - I guess it's a toss-up for me between the sanity of a reasonable morning start, or the sanity of spending some child-free time with my DH in the evenings. Evenings, so far, have won out. :)

What I don't understand is people who put their DC's to bed at 7-7.30pm, then complain that they are up at 5am as the DC's have had a good sleep and want to be up and about.

I guess it's a toss-up for me between the sanity of a reasonable morning start, or the sanity of spending some child-free time with my DH in the evenings.

Yes exactly. We've found that 9pm works for giving us 3 or 4 a couple of child free hours in the evening and no wake-ups before 7am. Horses for courses, but I really think the 7pm bedtime isn't the holy grail it is made out to be.

There's only a problem if the child can't function the next day. My five year old needs 12 hours a night and would be exhausted at 9pm, she's a 7.30/8pm-7.30am girl. My seven year old, on the other hand, never falls asleep before 9, so I send her up about 8ish to read and she puts her book down between 9-9.30. She gets up 7.30-8am.

I do agree an early bedtime isn't all it's cracked up to be. My mum used to send me to bed at 6, yes 6 and I just remember being bored for hours or reading for hours, there's no need to be in bed at 7 once you are 6/7/8. As for child-free time, that's a preference, like people say, and the penalty is early waking which continuously seems to surprise British parents!

BadPoet exactly. My DH and I are both Owls, and I think it would be v v unreasonable of me to think that our DC's might not be the same. Another consideration for us was that DH often does not get home from work until 8pm, so if he wants to spend any time with the DC's during the week, then they need to stay up later.

As I say, they were always very active during the day as well, and never had problems getting up for school.

My 13yo gets sent to his room at 8pm on a school night, but he can watch TV/read/do homework until whenever (officially 9pm, but we don't check up on him if he's being quiet about whatever he's up to) He shares with DS2 who is 10, but he's a weird robot child who can exist on minimal amounts of sleep. DD who is 7 has the same 'bedtime' but has lights out at 8.30pm. I love my DC to bits but I'm a strong believer in having a bit of personal time for me and DH and there's stuff we want to watch on TV that isn't appropriate for the DCs so there's no way they're going to get to hang around willynilly until they're a lot older.

With regards to the OP, personally I'd be sending the 4yo to bed at least an hour earlier but if she feels she doesn't need it

Some children need more sleep than others. If the oldest still needs the sleep then I would look to maintain a distinction between the ages by sending them up a few minutes apart. There should be some privileges for being eldest.

YWBU to send children to bed at an early hour purely for your own convenience.

We send DH son to bed at 10:00 , he is 15. If we didn't he would be on the xbox until the morning . At weekends he goes to bed when he wants . He gets very grumpy on no sleep, and needs over 8 hours . DSS 17 goes when he wants , and generally gets into bed between 10:00-11:00. Neither can operate on little sleep .

DS2 (nearly 12) goes at 9.00pm through the week when it is school and DS1 (nearly 14) goes about 10.00pm ish. Neither have a bedtime on a weekend really.

They have never gone at the same time.

never gone at the same time on a school night and usually DS2 is tired before DS1 and would generally go up before DS1 on a weekend anyway

DC are away at boarding school and bedtimes 17year old 11pm, 15 & 13 yr old 10pm.
17 year old has to up and ready for the day by 8pm and struggles with this.
15 & 13 year olds have to be up and ready by 7pm no problems at all.

ready for the day am....obviously!!! [bublush]