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To be fed up of dh constantly being "wired for sound"

13 replies

Oakmaiden · 25/04/2011 10:10

dh spends all his time with headphones on. In the evening when he is playing on his computer he wears big headphones with a microphone so he can talk to his online friends (but then can't hear me if I speak to him).

During the day he spends most of the time with his mp3 player on. I just think it is a bit weird (and rude) really, and it gets right up my nose. AIBU?

OP posts:

rubyslippers · 25/04/2011 10:12


It sounds very anti social actually


Pagwatch · 25/04/2011 10:15

It is rude. It is inconsiderate. It is not really a marriage if he is disengaged for most of the day.

I would be deeply concerned about my partner choosing to be separate from me all day.

Have you talked to him.


Onefunmum · 25/04/2011 10:19

How old is he? 15?!
That would really bug me too - DP spends too much time on the computer/iPhone etc. But at least he can hear me when I'm shouting nagging talking to him!


GandTiceandaslice · 25/04/2011 10:20

It's extremely rude & anti social.
Does he spend any time with you at all?


DramaInPyjamas · 25/04/2011 10:21

"Have you talked to him"

He can't hear her ;)



CareyFakes · 25/04/2011 10:22

YANBU, I would find that very rude.

I'm a music lover, I would listen to it all day every day but it's rude. I walk alot so have my earphones on, but never when DD is with me or anyone else.

I'd be shocked if someone thought that was ok


Pagwatch · 25/04/2011 10:31


Ok. Have you emailed him?


Oakmaiden · 25/04/2011 10:32

Doesn't spend a lot of time with me actually - he is constantly either on the computer, listening to his mp3 or watching videos on it.

I haven't had a conversation with him about it for quite some time. But he just looks at me as if I am being unbelievably picky.

He is very anti social though - and always has been.

That said, we are off on a family day out today. Hopefully without the mp3 player. Maybe I am being unfair to him...

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 25/04/2011 10:34

Go back to the 'old days'.

Have music on so everyone can hear.


Pagwatch · 25/04/2011 10:35



He doesn't spend any time with you, won't talk to you about it but a nice day out may make that all reasonable ?

If he has always been like that then you chose it. But I would not/could not live like that.


Oakmaiden · 25/04/2011 10:36

Pag - funny you should say that - I had to have sessions with a psychologist a few years back, when I was ill, and we did discover that dh and I only ever used to talk about matters of importance over the telephone when he was at work. NEVER face to face. I think I am too afraid of conflict to risk it in private - and I know conversations will remain calm if dh is at work. And then he lost his job about 3 years ago, and was out of work for 18 months, and I guess then we didn't talk about anything important at all.... Still don't really.

OP posts:

Oakmaiden · 25/04/2011 10:39

Well, when we got together (16 years ago) there were no mp3 players and no online gaming, so it really wasn't so much of a problem then. We used to play things like scrabble together in the evening. So it has got orse over the years - but he is a very introverted sort of person, which is why I say he has always been anti-social.

OP posts:

Pagwatch · 25/04/2011 10:43

That is sad oaky.

Perhaps then you should email him. Or write is somehow ?

Perhaps he sees you asking about it as nagging and trying to control what he does. Do you think you could make him understand that you miss him, that it leaves you alone a lot.

When you have no children in the house anymore it will be quite lonely for you won't it?

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