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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that a 39yr old man shouldn't spend every spare moment playing inane computer games

18 replies

warzone · 24/04/2011 23:06

My DH is an educated, intelligent man, yet he is constantly playing ridiculous games on the computer, or his phone.

Today we went out together as a family to a country park for a walk. When we stopped for a rest on a bench, with a beautiful view to admire and a wonderful holiday atmosphere to soak up, he was playing a game on his phone. Later, our dd wanted to play in the children's play area - dh couldnt get rid of us both quick enough in order to go sit down and play his game. Every time I looked over he had his head down staring at his fucking phone.

Why the hell does he want to do that rather than interact with dd, especially given that we came home yesterday having been away visiting relatives without him for a couple of days?

They are really inane games too - you know the matching up jewels of the same kind type of game.

He is also a playstation addict - driving games. Plays them every night after I've gone to bed. While we were away this week, dh quite happily told me he had done nothing but play playstation.

The more I see him dulling his personality on this candyfloss for the brain, the less respect I have for him.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
pjmama · 24/04/2011 23:12

Nope YANBU IMO. I'd have been bloody annoyed too.

Next time you go out for the day, take the battery out of his phone before you leave.

A1980 · 24/04/2011 23:12

YANBU

That's ridiculous. I play the games on my phone on rare occasions when stuck on a train and I've finished my book etc.

Have you asked him about it?

EricNorthmansMistress · 24/04/2011 23:13

YANBU
They are addictive and mind numbing.

riojaguzzler · 24/04/2011 23:14

No!!! You certainly aren't being unreasonable!!! I totally agree with you and sympathise as my DP is addicted to utterly ridiculous 'goblin' games. I just don't get why a grown man chooses to spend vast amounts of his spare time steering goblins on the backs of tortoises Hmm around fantasy worlds....

He sounds just the same as your DH- in fact, if he wasn't hidden away in his computer room for most of the night then I'd say we were talking about the same man!! Yes, he works long hours in a v stressful job and I understand the need to unwind after work- but staying up til 3am??? To shoot goblins and wizards with beards down to their feet??! Really??! Ditto about the time he spends on his machines while we're out of the house/away...

Oh and don't get me started about the weird beards he speaks to online....Angry

Perhaps you'd like to join me in finding a suitable pick axe or the like to hammer these phones, pcs and consoles into oblivion!!!!!

chillichill · 24/04/2011 23:19

YANBU! my dh goes through phases of the same, drives me mental. I don't mind the games at home so much, especially after we've gone to bed, but playing games on his phone all the time when he should be playing with dd or helping me drives me nuts. good news for me though, dh is on a night out tonight and phoned to tell me he broke his phone! result!

warzone · 24/04/2011 23:20

(hands riojaguzzler a large pickaxe)

OP posts:
warzone · 24/04/2011 23:20

(keeps lumphammer for self)

OP posts:
riojaguzzler · 24/04/2011 23:22

thanks warzone!! Wink

(picks up pickaxe and sharpens the point]

warzone · 24/04/2011 23:22

(high fives chillichill)

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riojaguzzler · 24/04/2011 23:25

Does he play golf?!

My goblin warrior DP has just started to play and although I don't see the point (and can rapidly see myself turning into a golf widow!!), it's FAR more sociable and gets him way from the mouse!!

warzone · 24/04/2011 23:37

No, but he used to play golf. Wish he still did - it was annoying but at least it is age appropriate, outside, and sociable. And exercises more than his two index fingers.

In seriousness, I'm wondering if it's a symptom of depression.

OP posts:
TethersEnd · 24/04/2011 23:44
warzone · 24/04/2011 23:56

Tethers, no irony to be had. I'm alone in bed so not ignoring my family. I'm also interacting with real people on the Internet, rather than numbing my brain with pointless games (and the games my dh plays are of the most pointless variety, believe me)

OP posts:
TethersEnd · 24/04/2011 23:58

Just joshing, warzone... you have to see the irony of posting about computer addiction on an internet forum though Grin

StuckinTheMiddlewithYou · 25/04/2011 08:11

It's crap, isn't it? My DP will play games for 18 hours straight if I let him. Crazy.

HipHopOpotomus · 25/04/2011 09:47

You call him educated and intelligent, I call him a LOSER. sorry but I couldn't be with anyone like that - would drive me round the twist. Can he not see how awful this is for his kids, if not for you?

riojaguzzler · 25/04/2011 09:52

Warzone- I know we can have a giggle about it, but I have also been at the point where I've been worried about this. My DP went through a phase of working v long hours, flying to the States for regular meetings and just general work related stress. It would seem that his way of dealing with this was to 'game'. We have come through the other side of this now- although it took redundancy for him to investigate other hobbies Hmm and the gaming time has been reduced.

Is your DH stressed about anything? I know it's difficult to get them to talk, but perhaps have a little chat about it.... try to keep the gaming out of it though, as in my experience this was just viewed as nagging!

beanlet · 25/04/2011 09:56

It's quite possible he's seriously addicted, and that there are undrlying problems like stress or depression that are feeding into a cycle of obsessive game playing. YANBU, but I think you need to address this as a serious issue.

I would know. I'm addicted to mumsnet.

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