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AIBU?

Need advice neighbour BU about dog?

16 replies

mrsblackadder · 23/04/2011 15:17

Ok will try not to bore you all to death.

Neighbour who is right next door (we are terraced row) has a small dog. Yesterday was the 3rd time in recent months that the dog has been left all day and all night. Its relatively quiet in the day but it obviously really starts missing the family at night and barks and howls for hours. Yes hours!!!

The first couple of times I spoke to my nieghbour in a slightly joking way as not to cause a problem but basically said "Your dog really missed you he howled/barked for hours" and got not much response. Last time she said someone was meant to stay with the dog - but they didnt and she was away so didnt know.

Last night I couldnt sleep due to the noise it went on from 7:00pm to 11:30pm almost non stop. Then through the night too.

We are quite friendly with this neighbour we both have small children who play together a lot sometimes but still feel a bit uncomfortable actually complaining to her about her dog. It seems like an awful long time to leave a dog too. Almost 24 hours with no-one letting it out.

We had also made arrangements for our DC to play today so we have waited in. Finally they came back, my DH took DS outside in the back garden and neighbour says "oh sorry we are going back out and then to the park" My DH was a bit angry as not only has the dog been a pain but then she just cancelled a playdate. My DS was really upset. He is only just 3. Her DS didnt look happy either. They have gone out again. The dog is barking.

I know I am not their keeper but unhappy that she leaves dog despite knowing it barks and barks and then comes back and leaves again cancelling a playdate.

WWYD? Should I tell her again about the dog? Be more serious (I dont like confrontation) Its one of those things about the playdate and we wont be relying on it again. She has done it before. I dont have loads of friends but though this lady seems nice enough her actions are not very considerate are they?

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TidyDancer · 23/04/2011 15:23

I'm not sure what you should do, but something definitely needs to be done! That poor dog. :(

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kreecherlivesupstairs · 23/04/2011 15:39

I don't know what you can do TBH, hopefully the dog whisperer herself (Valhalla) will be along soon to advise you.
When we lived in a two up two down terrace, the elderly NDN had an ancient jack russel. They went out one evening and left her at home. I didn't like the dog one bit, it had bitten me twice. After a couple of hours of hearing her whining, she started to make really odd sounds. It turned out she was dying, the NDNs knew this and didn't want to see her last moments. Selfish pair of bastards they were.

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mrsblackadder · 23/04/2011 15:43

Thats disgusting kreecherlivesupstairs I have a dog too and would never leave him overnight. He isnt left for more than a few hours really but I know ppl work and may have to leave dog all day. Just wondered if I was being unreasonable.

Dont want to fall out with her but I am angry.

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ikilledBosco · 23/04/2011 15:51

YANBU - That is too long to leave a dog alone .

Do you know if the Dog has enough water /food to last him while he has been left ? Also he should have a kennel to rest in .

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RainbowPatooties · 23/04/2011 15:53

poor dog. cant you offer to keep an eye on her/him?

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kreecherlivesupstairs · 23/04/2011 15:56

Yes, Mrs, it was disgusting.
Can you look for Valhalla and send her a PM? She is extrememly knowledgable about all things canine.

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TidyDancer · 23/04/2011 15:57

Oh kreecher, what a tragic and sad story. :( Those bastard neighbours. Angry

I would be checking water and food, OP, definitely.

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mrsblackadder · 23/04/2011 15:57

He is indoors - so must be doing his toilet in the house poor thing. I have seen water bowl down before and think he grazes on dry food.


I told her last time (few weeks ago) I would be happy to let him out/feed etc and she said thanks.

I think tbh they are very spontaneous and just do what they want when they want.

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mrsblackadder · 23/04/2011 16:00

Thanks will see if I can find Valhalla.

It just so frustrating people seem nice but they are often just selfish :(

Was so pleased when they moved in, thought I would have a nice friend.

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Vallhala · 23/04/2011 16:08

Kreecher, that's just awful. :( Wicked bastards.

MBA, there aren't a huge amount of things you can do without causing ill-feeling but clearly this can't go on nonetheless. On the official front the neighbour is guilty of noise nuisance. You can report to your local council's environmental health department and ask them to investigate. They'll probably, amongst other things, ask you to keep a diary on the noise so best start that now.

IF your county by some miracle has a dog warden and IF he/she is proactive you can ask him/her to visit, advise and read the riot act if necessary (all counties must have a stray-picker-upper but many no longer have dedicated F/T dog wardens owing to cutbacks so level of service is very variable).

If the neighbour is a social housing tenant you can also report them to their HA/Council housing department.

The poxy RSPCA won't give a stuff despite that this is a welfare issue and arguably a breach of law she is knowingly letting the dog suffer without access to a toileting area etc for so long.

Your best bet in the first instance, IMHO, is to offer to dog-sit/walk/let out/have dog with you occasionally. I know it's not your job and shouldn't be down to you but it may well be the least difficult way of handling this one if you're unprepared to call in the council or kick ass with the neighbour... and it certainly would be a kind, humanitarian action as far as the poor dog is concerned.

You might raise the subject and offer her some advice, names and numbers of local pet sitters/dog walkers/even teens willing to walk pooch for a few pounds. Also offer advice on leaving a radio when she goes out, training the dog by making going out no big deal (ie she puts coat on, picks up keys and then goes nowhere, then she does so and just goes out door and back in... a gradual process designed to desentsitize the dog from the stress trigger hit when he sees the family preparing to leaving him alone. She can also offer him a crate to make a den of (NOT locking him in it though!) so he feels more secure, learn not to immediately fuss dog when she comes in and not to make any issue about going out - ie no "Goodbye boy", no biscuit on leaving, nothing. All simple although sometimes time-consuming, tried and tested ways of reducing/preventing seperation anxiety.

She really MUST have someone in to that dog if she's going out all day too.

The other thing is to ask her if she really wants the poor dog at all and if necessary offer her £50 for him and get him away from the nasty cow and into rescue because he sure as heck isn't very well cared for at home. If it comes to the need to do that and you think that it's necessary and would work, pm me.

I hope that it doesn't though and that some goodwill offers and advice might resolve the issue and force her to take better care of her dog and be more considerate to you too.

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kreecherlivesupstairs · 23/04/2011 16:09

It was Val, they were a strange couple.
You see OP, I told you dogwoman would help Wink

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Vallhala · 23/04/2011 16:11

Second thoughts, try the RSPCA as well. I can't stand them, have no faith in them, but they MIGHT act about a dog being left overnight. You'll have to arm yourself with as much info as possible and REALLY press the point.

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ddubsgirl · 23/04/2011 17:04

i think as val has said maybe offer to look after the dog when they are out,even if just popping in to feed and make sure it has water and let it out for a wee.
talk to them,go to warden/rspca as last resort,does your dc get on ok with the dog?

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NorfolkNChanceOfAnEgg · 23/04/2011 17:05

Ok this is weird I came on to post about my neighbours' dog too! Can I briefly hijack as Val is already here?

Neighbours moved in 4 months ago, previous neighbours (who we got on brilliantly with) we renting with HA but I don't know if it's an actual HA house (if that makes sense). Anyway new neighbours move in, we pop over to introduce ourselves etc, all very nice.

That night the barking started and hasn't stopped since. The barking at night is accompanied by whining and I have heard it when up with DD in the middle of the night. Our gardens are not huge and unfortunately I cannot see into theirs due to high fences we all have.

We have never seen this dog, not once in 4 months. We see another neighbour taking his German Shepherd out daily and stop and chat to him as DD loves his soppy dog and he has never seen them out walking it either.

I worry for the dog quite frankly and the barking issue is getting ridiculous.

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mrsblackadder · 23/04/2011 17:34

Thanks Vallhala great advice.

I have offered prev to let dog out for her etc but think they live quite unsettled life, always seem to be out somewhere.

I will offer again and then hope that they do the right thing.

The dog is fine when we go inside their house but attacks our dog when outside. It is not at all friendly with the neighbours dog on the other side either.

TBH its a pain all round as they let the dog out unsupervised so it wanders into all the gardens and poos.

Ah neighbours eh?

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minimu1 · 23/04/2011 17:41

Grin at Val being called the dog whisperer - you got away lightly with that!

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