to want him to stop replying?

[thiswilldofornow]

Normal rules apply, I have namechanged for this thread.

Quick history, Dp and I recently got engaged. Ds is 2. I have changed dramatically since giving birth, not the free-spirited wildchild (i think I'm rather boring now, compared to how I was), flabbier, a bit less confidence. And we, like most people at the moment, have tightened our belts drastically so less cash for nice things.

Dp has a small obsession with yahoo answers. He, several months ago, answered a question from a girl in her early 20s. They are still in contact, texts, emails etc. dp is 42. Aibu to think this is just bizarre? Can I ask him not to continue this association?

I have no idea what these messages say. Nor do I know if he replies. I am being a paranoid, controlling nag, aren't I? Someone, slap me, please.

There is a middle ground between 'free spirited wild child' and 'controlling nag'.

It involves not putting up with shit.

You need to tell him that it is not acceptable to be in contact with this girl; that you are not happy about it.

Don't think that every change you have undergone since becoming a mother has been a negative one; becoming more assertive and less inclined to put up with crap is most definitely a positive change.

Yanbu

it sounds bizarre IMO

yanbu. weird. I wouldn't like it

what was the question he answered? was it a shared interest maybe?

It was regarding her relationship. He seems to be becoming a father figure meets agony aunt to her. Feel much better that I am not alone in finding the whole thing strange.

Similar thread in AIBU where I thought the Op was BU, but for some reason his sits differently with me and I think yanbu

I'm normally pretty liberal willdo but I find this strange.

He will be making excuses to 'comfort' her next.

Enough is Enough I think!

It is a bit odd, but I don't think it's a given it's bad.

Perhaps you should install him on Dadsnet! The more the merrier and all that.

If you feel uncomfortable about it, talk to him and ask him to stop. Don't tell him to.

so, if someone on here said i like to chat to my male friend over a coffee a couple of times a week and my OH doesnt like it, he would be entitled to ask me to stop contact with my friend and wouldnt be called controlling?

But this is a 'friendship' which the OP isn't part of and is feeling uncomfortable about. I think it's up to her dh to think about her feelings in relation to this. I have always considered my dh's opinions about my friendships with other men and, while I have never stopped talking to anyone as a result of that, I would rather he told me if he was feeling uncomfortable than kept it to himself.

Jojo, I completely agree. Except this is a woman half his age whom he has never met. That is not the same as meeting a male friend. I have told him I wasn't happy about the situation in the past but he has never understood.

Emboldened by this. I have told him clearly and concisely that I do not like it. It seems beyond strange to me. His response? "you don't have to like it." Oh, and he laughed.

WTF?! he laughed! seriously?. That would tell me everything you need to know imo. Whether or not this is completely innocent you have told him clearly that it is upsetting you and his response was to ridicule you?. Really?.

Hi thiswilldo
"you dont have to like it" and laughing would be enough for me to reconsider being engaged to him...........

Just my opinion obviously!

He has now apologised for that. And agreed to stop all contact. Offered to answer any questions I had (none!)

He says it was defiance earlier, didn't like being told what to do. I didn't exactly give him an ultimatum or anything, but I was a stroppy mare. so, fair enough. He has stopped. I'm satisfied.