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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

has enough of dh shouting

14 replies

sails · 22/04/2011 21:53

:( Its been a lovely sunny day. We went to a local wood this afternoon and ds2 aged 3 kept running off dh would run after him fast and ds would run all the more and dh shouted loud and so aggressively and for some reason ds didnt stop and come back dh had to catch up and fetch him!

When we got back h showed the dc the train set layout he has made for them and only just finished. Hes put it in the garage and all I could hear was my h shouting at the dc for touching this or that not listening etc. THe garage is at the bottom of the quite big garden I was in the kitchen. My neighbours were in their garden.

Tonight was like a pantomine h was determined that ds1 aged 5 was going to have a bath and clean his teeth. Not notmally a difficulty with him tbh but tonight he was equally determined he was not. He was running off hiding from h being chased round the house. H said he was doing to "wind him up"! I thing he's right not normally like this h has often come home when dc in bed this week and ds1 has not been like this but i told him cant blame him as h has been so horrible to him today! :( Had enough. When Itold him that he said alright you've made your point something else to moan about etc!! :(

OP posts:
MagicalChipmunk · 22/04/2011 21:59

know exactly what you mean. My dh keeps shouting at ds when he is singing happily telling him to be quiet. I just try and reassure ds that dh is tired and grumpy.
x

BeerTricksPotter · 22/04/2011 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 22/04/2011 22:11

Sometimes the DC can just get you like that, if he's not like that normally I wouldn't think too much about it, like MC says, just explain it as him getting out of the wrong side of the bed.

Ryoko · 22/04/2011 22:28

DF keeps shouting at DS, he's only 1 I keep telling him there is no point saying, no or don't mess with that, he doesn't understand he just thinks it's funny and DF will not put things away, I've said it a million times if he don't want him grabbing things then put em away and all I get is stupid answers like, well I bought a shelf to use it no point having it if I can't put stuff on it etc, tough shit is my answer to him I look forward to his PSP/phone etc getting broken because he insists on putting them on that crappy bedside cupboard, can't wait for DS to notice the laptop thats asking for it as well.

AgentZigzag · 22/04/2011 22:31

Ouch at your DF shouting at a one YO ryoko, they don't know what the rules are at that age, and I agree if you don't want the baby to get something you get it out of the way.

How's he going to cope with an extremely stroppy 3 YO/teenager??

worraliberty · 22/04/2011 22:35

Do the kids run off and not do as they're told when you ask them to do something OP or is it just because your husband shouts at them?

sails · 22/04/2011 22:38

Its not something that has just started happening :( They ignore him when he is shouting and tonight I said I dont blame them :(

OP posts:
worraliberty · 22/04/2011 22:41

I understand why you said that but it's not helpful really Sad

At 5 and 3, they are well old enough to come to their Dad when told to. Do they do this to you too or is it just him?

sails · 22/04/2011 22:43

No I didnt say it to them said it to dh in private later!

OP posts:
worraliberty · 22/04/2011 22:45

I don't think you understand me Smile

Do the children do as they are told for you?

Are they only disobedient towards your Husband?

AgentZigzag · 22/04/2011 22:50

I would be really mad if a three YO ran off from me trying to get them and thought it was a game.

Your DH was probably trying to get through to him that it wasn't.

What if he was trying to tell him to stop before they got to a road next time?

sails · 22/04/2011 22:50

They are more willfully disobedient towards dh iyswim but they are not perfect with me by any means. However there doesnt seem to be the wilfulness with me and I feel the stress levels go sky high with the dc and dh dh gets soooo stressed with them and they know that. :(

OP posts:
worraliberty · 22/04/2011 22:54

Do you think you could both agree on a parenting plan?

I'm thinking the children don't seem particularly scared of his shouting if they disobey him so willfully...and that your DH is just utterly at a loss with them ignoring him.

It's a bit of a viscous circle really because if they learnt to do what he asks of them, he wouldn't have to get so stressed and shout so much.

AgentZigzag · 22/04/2011 22:57

There is a difference between 'very firm' with an authoritative edge to your voice and just loud.

Loud makes you switch off, the edge gets you shitting your pants.

DC know this and exploit it mercilessly.

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