to expect my inlaws to ring and ask how there grandson is

[cheesespread]

My son was 1 last week,my inlaws came up to spend the weekend with us,they live a 2 hour drive away

my son was ill with a chest infection needing antibitoics and an inhaler,he slept thru most of his tea party,i would have cancelled but felt it was too late as my husbands family had booked hotel rooms as we didnt have enough room for everyone to stay

a week on and we havnt heard from my inlaws to ask how there grandson is,not a txt nor phonecall,while this is what there usually like i thought as he was ill they might actually phone and ask how he was

guess im expecting too much !

My outlaws are obsessed, to the point if being out of control,with my dc when they are here visiting yet NEVER call to see how we all are.

I don't get it as my family are all pretty close but am resigned to it now, even though I think them incredibly rude and they don't get the best out of me as a daughter in law because of it.

Its an arse isnt it.

You may well be expecting too much, but YANBU to hope that they would show a wee touch of interest in him. Especially as he is poorly.

IME i have sucked it up and accepted that both my parents and the PIL have zero interest in my son.
So now i seeth on here, and expect nothing from them, never ask anything of them.

Dh will take ds to his parents every few weeks, but if he didnt, it would likely be years and an accident that would make them see my little boy. They live about 15 minutes from us too.

What jugglingjo said in her first post.

We don't have interviews for grandparents and it is largely up to them how involved they get and how much contact they want. I don't think it is up to parents to dictate to grandparents what they can/can't/should/shouldn't be doing. Some parents seem to think that as soon as they have children, everybody must stop what they're doing and pay attention to them... it doesn't work, of course, just causes resentment across the board.

Chest infections are pretty commonplace these days and perhaps your PILs assumed that DS was on the mend. It's easy once the first concern is over with that the crisis is forgotten. I'm sure they care for your DS.

Do you have much of a relationship with them, OP? What do you and your husband do to maintain a relationship with them? It's not all about our kids... we have responsibilities to our extended families also.

Give them a ring for a chat, maybe, remembering that they have feet of clay - as do you and everybody else.

Glad your son is better now. :)

I think your being unreasonable and expecting too much . Chest infections are common as are antibiotics , and if one of my dcs got the hump because i didnt enquire after every illness id not be happy . Hes been ill , and its a big deal to you , understandably , but its not to them .

Theyve probably dealt with hundreds of chest infections , ear aches , chicken pox ect and for them its probably no big deal.