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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm being dumped for loads of inpromptu BBQs

41 replies

Bathsheba · 22/04/2011 16:42

I'm hosting a Pampered Chef Thingy tonight (apparently its wrong to call it a party, but it feels stupid to call it a "show") - the idea was to get a few of the Mums from DD2's preschool together who I know to say Hi to, but not really know well...

I KNOW there are a lot of people who HATE things like Pampered Chef but I've let everyone know there is no pressure, the PC girl is a friend of mine so I'm doing it as a bit of a favour to her too, to give her another show to do towards her targets etc...

No pressurte at all, hopefully a bit of a giggle with some wine and food.

Of the 8 people that were coming (a good number) 4 of them have pulled out, and I KNOW they have all decided to have BBQs instead as its a gorgeous day here....

So I'm now going through my phone contactsd and my facebook lists etc inviting everyone I know, who are all probably now thinking I'm awful by asking them to something with about 3 hours notice (I have explained to everyone that it started out as a get together for a specific group of people)...

I personally, if I had said yes to something, would still go, even if it was a lvoely evening for a BBQ - my get together is at 7:30 - people can have bbq-ed, nip along to mine for a wee while to "show face" and then head back to any BBq-ing that might still be going on at (:30 or whenever....

Anyone want to come round to mine tonight...??

OP posts:
fattgitttfedupandwantstosleep · 22/04/2011 16:47

I think that you are actually in the rigt here, but tbh, if i had choice between bbq and pampered chef party, then i know what i would choose.
why doestnt he pampered chef person decide to do it as a bbq insstead? in this gogous weather, that would go down far better, and if you invite the men as well, then it woulld be a party proper.

lubeybooby · 22/04/2011 16:49

YANBU but.... and it's a big but, there has been plenty of notice, masses and masses of notice of this excellent weather, you should have thrown a BBQ at yours as well as the PC thing. Who wants to be cooped up watching some 'show' when it's as gorgeous as this?

I would have a BBQ going and the PC person set up outside too

Original poster
Bathsheba · 22/04/2011 16:49

I think there is a good chance, if its as blissful as it is now at 7:30 that we may well do a lot of the socailising etc out in the garden - I have a better table for the "wares" to be laid out on in the garden than I do inside...

I think now though even if we changed it officially to a Pampered Chef BBQ that the cancellees would remain cancelled...after all, all I could do is get back to them and say "we have having a BBQ as well, would that help you to come...."

OP posts:
atthecarwash · 22/04/2011 16:49

I've been invited to 3 pampered chef 'shows' in the last month.. I've not accepted the invites and made up some excuse. They really are not that much fun, sorry!
But I do feel sorry for you it's not nice when people say they can't make it at the last minute. But then again this could be the summer so I can understand why they wan to make the most of the weather...
Can't you postpne it til next week? It's bound to be raining...

Original poster
Bathsheba · 22/04/2011 16:50

I can have a BBQ going, no problem - the problem is that 50% pf people have already cancelled....so even changing it now to a BBQ wouldn't really "bring people back" if that helps...

And, TBH, I'm in Aberdeen where any reports of future nice weather are generally disregarded..!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bathsheba · 22/04/2011 16:52

Oh absolutely no problem with people not coming in the first place because its "not their thing" - although ins aying that, trust me, mine are far more about drinking wine and gossiping over food than stoneware and kitchen tools...

But people said right up until yesterday they were coming and have cancelled today (I'm suspecting) because its such a lovely day...

JMaybe tyhey have all been on the wine all afternoon and the drivers couldn't now drive here...

OP posts:
Original poster
Bathsheba · 22/04/2011 16:53

Actually, good point I now have a huge amount of wine and no-one to drink it...except me...

Ah well, every cloud etc...

OP posts:
BecauseImWoeufIt · 22/04/2011 16:55

YANBU - it's incredibly rude of them.

hmc · 22/04/2011 16:56

That's pretty rude - if you've agreed to go to something you stick with it unless you or a family member are ill, you don't just pass it up in favour of a better offer. Whether Pampered Chef is fun or not (it gets a big yawn from me) is not the issue - they should not have accepted in the first place if they were not guaranteeing to come. People are crap. YANBU

Original poster
Bathsheba · 22/04/2011 16:59

Oh, postponing I can't really do - my DH absolutely HATES things like this (He has Aspegers and Social Phobia and cannot tolerate ANY of my friends at all), so I've organised this whilst he is abroad with work...Also I'm been stuck in pretty much for the last 3 weeks other than vitial appointments because he has been away or we have been away, so this was something for "Me" in my "me time..."

But this type of "me time" only works when he is out of the country...by next week he'll be back so I couldn;t rearrange...

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 22/04/2011 17:04

I'd say Good Friday is an odd day to hold a PC party tbh

Rhinestone · 22/04/2011 17:05

I'm on the fence - yes, it's rude to cancel at the last minute. Very rude and YANBU.

But on the other hand, I think given the choice of a lovely BBQ in the sun on the first evening of the Easter weekend, or a PC event I know what I'd do. Even if I'd already said yes.

How long ago did you invite people? Is there any chance they forgot it was the Easter weekend when they accepted?

meliesmummy · 22/04/2011 17:09

Ummm...I am probably really out of touch here but what is a pampered chef party?!

YANBU by the way.

Groovee · 22/04/2011 17:10

I had a "show" a few weeks ago and had my mum not turn up and then had a huff when I wouldn't do what she wanted the following morning and another friend who completely blanked me when I asked her about it.

Original poster
Bathsheba · 22/04/2011 17:11

Oh they probably did - invites went out 3 weeks ago - hey I forgot it was Easter weekend..

In my defense, our kids started their easter holidays 3 weeks ago, had 2 weeks off and started BACK at school last Monday....they have had today off for Good Friday but they are back at school on Monday, so it being "Easter Weekend" isn't that big a deal here really...

OP posts:
Nagoo · 22/04/2011 17:13

i don't know what it is either, but YANBU, it is annoying when people let you down at the last minute.

At least you can drink the wine and appreciate the nice evening.

Original poster
Bathsheba · 22/04/2011 17:18

Hi Meliesmummy - its just a type of selling party thing (like Body Shop parties or Tupperware parties) but the products are nice kitchenware and kitchen tools etc (a bit like Lakeland stuff)...

I make sure its never hard sell, and the product demonstrating person cooks a dish using the tools etc that everyone gets to eat - so there is generally ncie food etc...

OP posts:
speakercorner · 22/04/2011 17:41

I wouldn't consider myself bound to attend a selling party of any sorts. I would probably mumble a 'yes, lovely' when invited and then make an excuse. Sorry

FolornHope · 22/04/2011 17:43

i HATE Pc parties
if you want ot have a giggle and some food then just do that

Prunnhilda · 22/04/2011 17:47

I think it's rude to cancel last minute, but PC parties are a chore and not a pleasure. (I wonder if the poor demonstrators enjoy it!)

supergreenuk · 22/04/2011 17:49

I'm on the fence too. Look at it this way though at least those who are coming want to be there and you can have a laugh with them. It won't be a complete wash out. You can always text those coming to remind them to bring a friend. Isn't there a free gift if you do?

Original poster
Bathsheba · 22/04/2011 17:56

SpeakerCorner - why not just say "no thanks" at the time....I think most people would appreciate that more than an excuse...

OP posts:
Original poster
Bathsheba · 22/04/2011 17:56

The demonstrators love it...I think its a bit of a cult really...

OP posts:
jetmonkey · 22/04/2011 18:09

YANBU
If I had said I was coming then I would still come whatever the weather.

Sorry these other people have let you down.
Pampered chef parties are quite fun really [busmile]

speakercorner · 22/04/2011 18:10

That's what I should do, yes. But in a situation where you are asking lots of mums at a preschool I might just agree to come and then not quite know the best way to get out of it. Also it is partly a business thing - you'll get some sort of gift or money if people buy a lot, won't you? For that reason, the invitation wouldn't feel as important or pressing as, say, a dinner party.

Do hope you get enough people though.