To day dream about some romance

[dreamingofromance]

In a happy marriage with no desire for "playing away" BUT my god, I have NO romance in my life. Married the most non romantic man in the world.
AIBU to crave some romance? Im at the stage where Im daydreaming about scenarios, crushing on tv actors, considering reading mills and boon.
Is this normal? I know life isnt like the movies but .

YANBU. Perfectly normal. I suspect even people who are very rich, don't have to work if they don't want to and live in big, fabulous houses, still daydream about romance . Theres nothing wrong with daydreaming!

Keeps you sane, but Mills and Boon? Maybe not!

YANBU at all - I'm much the same. DH can be romantic but being knackered from a stressful job and the kids not eating/sleeping has pretty much meant that he's become extremely unromantic.

I love settling down to a good movie and get immersed in another world where there's a happy ending.

I too would never cheat on my dh but I think having crushes on sexy men (think Mr Armitage <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.thehunkies.com/wp-content/uploads/Richard-Armitage.jpg&imgrefurl=www.thehunkies.com/richard-armitage/&usg=__VbNZgYDjEvWBbKBIDm0LsYO3kgE=&h=320&w=313&sz=18&hl=en&start=0&sig2=7zlxX1aZNnQPoqJojw4HTQ&zoom=1&tbnid=QiLBzOj11Mi-0M:&tbnh=131&tbnw=124&ei=EWSxTfCSHtKo8QOM2ZSWDA&prev=/search%3Fq%3Drichard%2Barmitage%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26rlz%3D1T4SUNC_enGB374GB374%26biw%3D1362%26bih%3D584%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=240&vpy=240&dur=125&hovh=227&hovw=222&tx=76&ty=150&page=1&ndsp=26&ved=1t:429,r:10,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">yum is quite normal.

YANBU and you can't create it in a person who is non-romantic. If you can appreciate the contributions he does make it may take the edge off. XH was the flowers/dinners/jewellery type but stayiong out all night/drinking heavily and running up debts took the shine off IYSWIM. Would have preffered practical and emotional help.

YANBU, i have to watch the twilight films/read the books to get my romance! I just want some intensity every now and again!

OP - can you not inject some romance instead of waiting for your dh to.

I remember the days when everything was new and exciting - all lingering looks and hours of snogging. Sometimes I still feel butterflies when I think of DH, but he's always at bloody work when the notion to be romantic strikes and by the time he gets home I've gone off the idea, cos the rubbish needs taking out or something!

DH just came home with flowers and a crunchie. Am happy

vintage, no. He wouldnt appreciate it. Ive known him 12 years. Just isnt him. I didnt even have those fluttery crush and excitement things with him early on, he was a friend who grew to be my lovely husband.

So do you reckon it's proper romance (like movie/meal out/I love you's/flowers etc) or is it more 'excitement in the bedroom'?

I think the two merge into one really but to be honest, I don't dream of Mr armitage taking me out for dinner....

Oh, now you mention it, let me think.
Probably both? Mind you Id hate all that flash lovey or contrived playtime stuff in the bedroom.

YANBU - I suppose you could try and be romantic but I am pretty certain the whole point is that someone is romancing you not the other way round.

If Mills and Boon does it for you - why not!! (I have never read one, I am saving them up for when I get divorced).

The difference in men and women where romance is concerned, is that men mostly use their eyes to conjure up pleasure and women their brains.

I think many men see romance as something that is unecessary; "just let's skip that to the sex bit" kind of thing. I'm not confusing romance and foreplay either; just that I think some men think of life in two boxes; the work/home/DIY/down the pub box and the sex box.

Women like to be wooed and build up a love story and kind of feel that "I'm not joining you in the bedroom if you can't be bothered to sit with me and watch a movie or sit together for a candlelit dinner first.

I have never read one either

I daydream all the time. I'm single and often daydream about wild romances and so forth, keeps me busy and happy.

I have a wonderful harmless crush on a Uni friend, he is delicious and I just imagine all sorts whilst he's talking to me, bit rude but such is life, he shouldn't be so attractive.

yanbu. I'm the same at the moment. I blame it on the weather!

I almost never daydream about romance. I don't have any celebrity crushes. I grew out of that long ago. I also married late and had more than my fair share of relationships.

If you do daydream, did you meet your partners early in your lives and therefore don't have much experience of romance outside of your relationship?

No i met mine when I was 34, married at 39

In that case, you are aware that romance fades and reality catches up.

Yep - met mine at 19 and married at 23. DD at 24.

I'm hoping that something will change and he'll become romantic like he used to be. In fact, when we first met, he was overly romantic and it was a bit to be honest; especially when he proposed on one knee in the market place in front of everyone!

Mine didnt even propose. Just said we should probably get married.

Its completely normal, IMHO. Would put money on it happening in every marriage, happy or otherwise. What you do about it or not is another matter. If you really love your husband and he makes up for it in other respects then probably not worth rocking the boat over it, tbh. Romantic gestures are fun but quite often goes hand in hand with other less attractive characteristics like flakiness, mood swings etc.

Romantic could also mean chauvinistic or putting women on a pedestal but not seeing the real person. A bit like daydreaming, I guess.

Tbh, romantic in my eyes now, having had the kids and getting a bit fed up being a stay at home mum, is DH taking the kids away for a couple of days to his parents, leaving me to declutter the house, do some baking and getting to watch eastenders, holby and vampire diaries on a Tuesday night without one of the kids coming down every 5 mins giving me I can't sleep excuses!

yanbu everyone needs some love in their life