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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

school photo...

23 replies

narna · 22/04/2011 10:34

My DD was meant to have her school photo taken today,found out at pick up time that they had missed her off the list.
When i went in to ask the teacher about what happened -the opposite year group teacher as DDs teacher and TA are both off sick- she said "well there's nothing i can do about it now ",turned her back on me and walked away .
Im really cross,both at what happened and at the way the teacher responded.
My DD is 5 and was very poorly for the first 3 years of her life,we spent a long time thinking she would not get the chance to go to school so this first reception year photo is actually quite a big deal to us as its such a landmark...

OP posts:

LIZS · 22/04/2011 10:58

Ask the office if there is another session booked for absentees/siblings. If not take her to a session in Mothercare, Boots or local shopping centre (ie. Pixifoto) in uniform.

sims2fan · 22/04/2011 11:02

It has been handled badly by the school, but if the photographer has been and gone there might be nothing they can do. I would dress her in her school uniform and take her to one of those photo places where you get photos printed. The shop near me has a portrait taking bit with a white background, and does a lovely little portrait package for £5.99. It won't be exactly the same as her friends' school pictures but in years to come that won't matter and it will show what she looked like in reception year.

slovenlydotcom · 22/04/2011 11:07

if you want it to look the same as the others - ask for the number of the photographer and explain-they may be able to help, even if it means nipping to another local school.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 22/04/2011 11:09

She was quite rude, wasn't she?

You mean you calmly and nicely enquired, weren't agressive, bolshy or confrontational in any way and she basically said tough shit and turned her back on you?

I'd probably complain about that. That's ignorant.

But re the photo. It's really no big deal. School photos are rip off prices and normally quite shit anyway. Like the others have said, pop her in her uniform and do it yourself.

For that authentic feel, make sure she has a big fake uncomfortable smile, take the photo from the most unflattering angle you can, give it just slightly too much light and then take £20 out of your purse and flush it down the loo.

Niceguy2 · 22/04/2011 11:13

LOL Hectate. I agree. The first couple of photos my kids had from school I bought religiously and gave the "extras" to grandparents etc. Now for the last x years, i just can't be bothered. Honestly would prob prefer to flush the money down the loo!

TidyDancer · 22/04/2011 11:13

I really would complain, that was handled appaulingly. But in terms of getting the photo, this is rescuable. I would take DD along to a photographer and ask for one of those dated backgrounds they use with school photos, so it looks just like the real thing. You will be able to make sure they get the shot you want, as well as making sure her hair looks lovely.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 22/04/2011 11:49

I think that slovenlydotcom's suggestion is excellent - that is what I would do.

diddl · 22/04/2011 12:01

She was rude-but what do you want her to do?

Who missed her off the list?

Do they not send letters home?

Is it not Good Friday for you?

clam · 22/04/2011 12:35

well, the bottom line is that there is nothing the school can (or will) do about it. They're not going to get the photographer back, for a start. However, they could at least sound apologetic about it. That teacher was out of order, by the sounds of it, although I will say that photograph day in a primary school is an organisational and logistical nightmare to organise - with siblings and steps and morning nursery/afternoon nursery and kids out for music lessons/intervention groups etc... Frnkly I'm surprised it was only the one child missed out!
But that doesn't help you. But I think the ideas suggested on here are good ones. Go to another photographer and mock up something similar.

diddl · 22/04/2011 12:49

Shame that they don´t also do a class photo-that´s the only one that mine have ever wanted.

If she was missed off a list-I wonder if that means that the photographet was given a list?

If she´s not that bothered, then can´t you just take a nice photo yourselves?

worraliberty · 22/04/2011 12:51

You don't need a school photographer to take a photo of your child in school uniform surely?

Original poster

narna · 22/04/2011 13:08

no of course i dont,its more the fact that its such a landmark in their life isnt it? starting school? having spent so long wondering if she would make it to start school i am pretty gutted that we dont have that special first school photo.
I have found out this morning that my friends DS was missed too.We had to hand in letters to say we wanted them doing-which im positive i did ,they told my friend she hadnt when she is sure she did.
I dont know how it happened,i think thats why i was so cross,i was just dismissed so rudely at the end of the school day ,if she had apologized and said she would look into what happened on Tuesday next week i wouldnt have been quite so upset.
She just couldnt give a monkeys and didnt even try to hide the fact.
Thankyou for the suggestions to get it done somewhere else,i think thats what ill do,dont expect the school will do anything about it unless they have missed loads and their parents all complain...

OP posts:

zipzap · 22/04/2011 13:17

Is it indicative of the way the school is usually? At peat being missed off the list for the photo can be rectified albeit with effort needed from you. Would have been completely different outcome if they had missed her name off a list for school trip and been left behind or the fire list and left inside school instead of being evacuated in an emergency.

So I think you are right to be annoyed by this and not just because you now have the hassle of organising a school photo!

diddl · 22/04/2011 13:18

She was perhaps rude because she thought that you couldn´t have handed the letter in if your daughter was missed.

And it was more than likely a PITA for staff dealing with it.

Not that that excuses her, of course.

When the pics come back, perhaps you could find out the photographer then?

Was it up to the children to take the letters back?

worraliberty · 22/04/2011 13:20

Who exactly did you hand the letter to?

Original poster

narna · 22/04/2011 13:24

the problem is i think that DDs teacher is the head of the foundation unit-she has a lot of time off sick and although she is amazing and has looked after DDs special needs better than i could have dreamed,when she is off sick the place seems to fall apart-lots of little things like forgetting to hand out book bags which also happened yesterday ,not changing reading books at all ,little mix ups that on their own dont matter but all mount up ...

OP posts:

Original poster

narna · 22/04/2011 13:39

to the opposite class's TA.I told them i handed it to her .
She took charge on Monday morning when i asked where DDs teacher was as had homework and also DDs stuff for the week.She was not around at pick up time.

OP posts:

TheOriginalFAB · 22/04/2011 13:48

At our school we have retakes for when kids have been off or the photo hasn't been great. Does that happen at your school? FWIW I understand the landmark thing and the achievement. I still love to see my daughter run and jump when we were told she wouldn't even walk.

dreamingofromance · 22/04/2011 13:51

Not everyone hands letters to teachers. Ours all have to go with a hope and a prayer with the children as they go on a bus to school. I see the teacher twice a year.

clam · 22/04/2011 15:17

Our school just photographs everyone, regardless, as we had a few years with a hassle of who had/hadn't handed in slips, plus those who said they didn't get the letter in the first place and who wanted siblings together and who actively didnt' and so on. It's all done digitally so it's not exactly a huge issue for the photographer. The worst that can happen is that someone's hair is mussed up.
Formal class photos (on benches in rows) are done in the summer term, and we now also do one of those casual 'studio-style' photos where they're shot in small groups in random poses, and then super-imposed onto a larger print. Parents therefore have the choice of formal/informal.

diabolo · 22/04/2011 16:41

But it's Good Friday.

Why are your kids at school today?

onceamai · 22/04/2011 16:47

Lots of solutions and if it's any consolation DD's reception photo (12 now) was so awful only two copies were ordered (she cried her eyes out at the time because everyone else had bit presentation packs to bring home) and immediately stuffed at the back of the bureau. She honestly looked as though she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards and had significant developmental challenges. I found it and showed her the other day and she just looked and said "what did you keep that for - whatever you do, don't every show it to anyone".

Looking back at how upset she was when she only had an economy pack to bring home, I might find out when the pics are to be distributed and ask if the ones you have had done elsewhere can be handed to the office that day and given to her to bring home. That was the issue for our dd if I recall.

Original poster

narna · 22/04/2011 21:17

Doh,of course this happened yesterday,not today ...my mistake ...

OP posts:

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