Was i being unreasonable to do this?

[WIBUtodothis]

An old friend on facebook (deleted and blocked now) had a child 4 yrs ago who died 4 weeks after birth due to a genetic disorder. She said the hospital killed her. (long story short) She is still trying to get the hospital to say it was them who killed her daughter even though medical reports say it was due to a genetic disorder.

She had a son last year who is now just over 1yr old. Her son is not crawling or walking because he is either in his high chair/pushchair or bouncer all day every day whilst she posts pictures of 'Angel Babies' on her facebook wall after posting about 7-10 of these images posts about getting justice for hospitals killing babies. Her son subsequently suffers through this as he is left in front of CBeebies, she has pics on her facebook of her son and in each picture he is either eating chocolate or chips. He is always filthy (have seen this with own eyes) the house is a tip (by tip i mean The How clean is your house team would enjoy this task) she is now pregnant and smokes and drinks at least 3 glasses of wine a night. (shes told me this) she is under watch with local childrens services for numerous complaints of DV happening there - neighbours complaining about the family the day after she has been running down the street naked black and blue after her husband has beaten her up.

I felt i had to do something, nothing anyone said has made a difference, like when she is posting asking what to do today as bored, when people have made suggestion she goes to park with son she replies with oh no its dirty there and i daren't go out. (she does live in a very rough area, so dont blame her on this one)

So i contacted her local childrens services just to raise my concerns for her son and her unborn child.

WIBU. please dont slate me. i felt i had to do something as i know she avoids health visitors and social workers by pretending not to be in or going out deliberately to avoid them.

[WIBUtodothis]

My intentions were to make sure that her DS was being looked after properly. That is all.

[Birdsgottafly]

On the other thread it took 3 pages and me being quite rude to you for it to come out that she had lost a DD and her health condition. Now once again you were telling half a story. I agree that she needs SS imput and if your call got that, then YANBU. However you are not a friend of hers and cannot be a friend because of the way that you feel towards her and her DP, so like i said in the last thread do not dress yourself as something that you are not, to her. At least be honest otherwise you are certainly no better than her ( i don't think that you are anyway because i see her as someone with complex problems.

[ChippingInLovesEasterEggs]

Birds - I think you are right. However, now it has been done I hope a SW like you gets sent out to her and she gets the help she so desperately needs, both her and the children.

[ItsCHEEKYTime]

Excuse me, i could just be like the rest of the 'friends' on her FB and agree with them that her HV and SW are being unreasonable for telling her that chips and chocolate are not part of a balanced healthy diet for a 1yr old. Or i coould sit back and just ignore her or i could actually do something and try to help this family get the help they need.

Next time i wont fucking bother trying to help any fucker.

[ItsCHEEKYTime]

Yes it was me i cba to name change again either.

[Birdsgottafly]

I told you last time to be honest with her. It was your responsibility if you 'fed' into her behaviour. I could not see what help you were trying to give her, you seem to have no understanding of how a death of a child or a debilitating health condition can have on a person. You often said on the other thread that you were in the same position as her but you haven't had the experiences that she has had. You have helped by making a referal, as i said if you are keeping contact to 'safeguard' the DS then fair enough. You could have posted less information about her (as i said in the other thread), she cannot be that difficult to recognise to anyone whi lives in the area and is on MN.

[MissPaintyOeuf]

I think you abolutely did the right thing, and for the right reasons (i.e. the children's best interests). If SS investigate and find no problems, they'll leave it be. Or they may decide that she and the children need some kind of help. It sounds like she's had a hard time of things and needs some support. I hope she gets it.

[howdoyoueatyours]

YABU to say that her son doesn't walk because he's in his pushchair/highchair all the time. Are you there all the time to see this? Neither of mine walked until after 1 and they were hardly ever in their pushchairs etc. DD never crawled either. I think 13 months is the average age to start walking (some kids obviously walk earlier or later) and plenty of babies don''t crawl.
You have probably done the right thing though as it sounds like she's depressed. The drinking and lack of care for the house would suggest that to me.
You say that the friend is now blocked by you on FB. Did you have a falling out because I agree the tone of the post is more judgemental than concerned.

[ItsCHEEKYTime]

No last week it kicked off on FB, between her and some mutual friends (we all went to school together) she was complaining about something and someone asked her something which she took the wrong way. She made out that this other person was bullying her when they weren't.
She then posted about certain people bullying her, i mentioned that some were just trying to help and give advice which we were - sorry i cant go into it any more. Anyway the next i know she called me and another close friend nasty pieces of scum because we dared to give her advice.

Next thing we know we are all deleted and blocked by her. The next day she had unblocked us both so i blocked her back.

[ItsCHEEKYTime]

it is very pathetic if you ask me. but oh well.

[hairylights]

Poor woman and poor child :( yanbu. You've done the right thing.

[Wallace]

How sad :(