To hate the time between the end of nap time and bedtime

[NorfolkNChanceOfAnEgg]

I know IABU.

I love my DD, I really do but this holiday has made me realise how much her being in nursery helps my sanity (she is in term time only provision).

After she wakes from her afternoon nap until DH gets home she is foul, bad tempered, hits/bites etc if she is in a really bad mood and nothing I do pleases her. She is a mostly non verbal 19 month old and I am tearing my hair out trying to get through each afternoon without drinking a whole bottle of wine after she's gone to bed.

In the morning she is a joy and the recent change in behaviour has thrown me as her routine hasn't really changed.

Oh and she is a joy again the moment DH walks through the door which is hair wrenchingly gutting too.

Mine are only 6 months, but the late afternoon is by far the hardest part of the day. IME they're a bit tired (despite the nap) and a bit bored (since we're normally at home by that time of day) and I'm tired so my patience is lacking. All this adds up to some grumbling from my babies and some hair-tearing and eyeing-up-of-the-gin-bottle from me.

I don't have any advice, just wanted to sympathise and let you know you're not alone ...

The witching hours.

Im sure pinot grigio could help. You, not her.

Yep yep! DS is 18 months - he actually is more whiney with me than DH. DH has noticed it too. The heat isn't helping!

I had read somewhere that mums get most of the whining because DCs see us as someone who's more likely to comfort them and they can (without realising), show how they really feel.

I find doing mini tasks helps - gets DS doing something eg we play with the vacuum or water plants in the garden. Make sure he's fed and watered etc too. But my bathtime I'm on my knees!

I call it the witching hours too!

DD (5mths) is fab and giggles non-stop in the morning, but she too is a nightmare between last nap and bedtime. Nothing distracts her more than 5 minutes...so tempted to stick her in the Bumbo and put the telly on!

Yanbu.

It is a crap part of the day.

You are not alone. I only had the hour between getting home from nursery and bedtime to fill and I still managed to turn it into a pitched battle that ended with me stomping off down the lane announcing "Well MUM is going to see the sheep because it would be RUDE not to. They are EXPECTING us" while a small person sat on the verge kicking and yelling.

Disclaimer - the sheep were, until very recently, the best thing since sliced bread and a regular part of our evening routine. We had set out to see the sheep and we were damn well going to see the sheep and enjoy it!

Andie- that's what cbeebies is for! My DD was so tired today that she forgot how to sit up even though she has been doing it for 2 weeks. She's now got a bruised forehead...

haha we call it the ARSENIC hours, a term no doubt stolen from mn...
My way of dealing with this was, for all the preschool years and beyond, find a friend to share this time with if at all possible... tea time, bath time then story time then back home to bed. I was lucky enough to have two women I was able to do this with for years. It saved our sanity imo. If I had my way I would love to live in a commune, but this is the nearest I got to it and I highly recommend it, even if for one or two days a week.

So glad I am not alone in this! In the end I managed to distract her from whining by allowing her to put various items down my top, which i then forgot about when getting up to answer the phone, ooops!

Still long weekend with the sainted Daddy home so he can bear the brunt!

this might sound odd but have you tried putting her down for the nap a little earlier so that she is not so tired. It might be a shorter nap thus giving you more time to fill but it might just be that all she needs a little refresher rather than a full on nap that she wakes up from grumpy? DS has only has one nap per day now for quite a while (he's 20m) and it can be as early as half ten. He sometimes sleeps for 2 hrs but then thats it for the day. Between dinner and bath we might have 1/2 hr of TV if he is getting bored or ratty with other toys. We have been staying with relatives this week and they have kept him up until midafternoon, then put him down for a sleep and he has woken up just before dinner in a really bad mood .

My 16 month daughter is also in nursery two days a week term time only and boy have I struggled this holiday!

I remember the horror of this well. I found the best thing was to get them doing something physical (and outside if at all possible) as well as getting them to have as much water as I could persuade them to drink.

What trixie says makes a lot of sense, if you can get her to nap earlier she might not go into such a deep sleep and then find it so hard to perk back up after it.

Thanks for the advice, I have tried an earlier nap but she is having none of it and dropping it all together is even worse.

We had been outside most of the day so not too bad but she is now wide awake so I am conked out on the sofa whilst she plays argh!

that's early!

We put DS down for a nap at 12-30/1pm depending on whether he's had a morning nap too.

He has been going through a phase of early wake ups - around about this age, sleep goes doolally plus there's a transition to 1 nap if they're still on 2. Making them pretty grumpy.

19 months was horrible for us, too, and you are very sharp to mention that she is preverbal. I thought we would have a year and a half of terrible twos, but DS sweetened up considerably soon after 19months, when he started being able to talk better. I'm not sure whether it helped that we did sing and sign, but if she is in nursery, does she learn any signing there?

Other suggestions, particularly the playdates, CBeebies and wine, sound good! The only thing about CBeebies is that you can never turn it off in the middle of something: always warn them that "after Timmy, it's all finished," then turn it off after Timmy (or whatever). If CBeebies is too attractive, you can always turn on the television and press 7 (off freeview) before it warms up: this will bring up BBC Three, which until 7pm is almost the same red screen as CBeebies after 7pm, when they are sleeping! After 7pm, of course, you can bring up Ch71 (Freeview) with the CBeebies genuinely "sleeping".

Good luck!

DD has an ongoing health problem which means that sleep is sometimes disturbed hence my 3am posting!

She is coming along with her language and knows some signs but doesn't use them unless copying me. She can let me know about the important things, when she is thirsty/hungry, needs changing etc with individual words but it's a sort of whining grunt for everything else!

Her language has really come along since being off with me so hopefully things will improve and the nice weather means I can at least chuck her outside and hide behind a book/sunglasses!

I always try to go out and do something after the afternoon nap. It's the bit between getting home and DH getting home that's hard. I always out ITNG on but DS will only watch it for a few minutes then wander off to destroy something new in the flat, arrrrrrgggghhhhh! He's 18months, and at that age where he's very physically capable but is rubbish at following instructions and listening to mummy.........