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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my mother should be renamed Scrooge?

75 replies

twinsufficient · 21/04/2011 12:18

My mum has just given me the Easter eggs for my 3 dcs. They are the cheapest, most tasteless (like cooking chocolate) eggs you could buy. I'd rather she didn't bother. What really annoys me is that she is not poor in any sense of the word. I don't expect lavish gifts but just maybe something a bit more for her grandchildren. AIBU?

OP posts:
lockets · 21/04/2011 12:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeerTricksPotter · 21/04/2011 12:47

This reply has been deleted

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cory · 21/04/2011 12:52

Couple of hundred grand won't go far if she ever needs specialised care in a care home. My MIL spent well over that buying insurance that will pay her fees in the only care home that offers kind of hoisting facilities that can get her in and out of bed after she was unexpectedly paralysed- otherwise, she'd probably have died on the geriatric ward by now. If she had spent that money while she was still well we'd be seriously in the shit now, as we'd feel morally bound to help her and haven't got any extra funds to use.

Scaredycat3000 · 21/04/2011 12:59

Child aimed chocolate is foul! The supermarkets are doing medium sized cadburys chocolate eggs 3 for £2:50 or £1 each so why pay the same for barely edible eggs, so it's not really about the money being spent. I get your point, maybe the thing to do is not post in in AIBU?

SusanneLinder · 21/04/2011 13:03

Well she brought you (and presumably any siblings that you have) up throughout her life, and now she has time for herself and money to put away for her old age,and you want a slice of that as well?

YABU

oohlaalaa · 21/04/2011 13:04

YABU

thefirstMrsDeVere · 21/04/2011 13:08

Sorry YABU.

Only you know why you really feel so strongly though.

I hate fecking easter eggs and only buy cheap ones. I resent paying for all that packaging. One of my DCs is obsessive about sweet things so easter is very stressful.

I buy £1 ones. Nothing wrong with them.

In my family we buy book vouchers (how smug we are Grin ) because we live 300 miles apart.

darleneconnor · 21/04/2011 13:30

Yabvvu.200k wont last long if/ when she needs care. Ive bought the dcs the cheapest possible eggs. There are a million better things to spend money for them on. Do you realise you are mostly paying for the packaging?

Depending on the exact circs you may be reasonable for being narked with her if she doesnt help with ccare if you are paying so much.

Aworryingtrend · 21/04/2011 13:36

How do you know the eggs are 'tasteless, like cooking chocolate' when its not Easter sunday yet so presumably they haven't been opened? Confused

diddl · 21/04/2011 13:40

What has her savings and the amount you pay in childcare got to do with anything?Confused

TBH I thought that most eggs were "Cadbury´s or similar"

Just because you can afford more doesn´t mean that you have to-which is probably why she has got savings!

CareyFakes · 21/04/2011 13:44

YABU, I haven't even bought my own child an egg. She gets tonnes, why spend more on something she'll devour in about 2 seconds

Vicky2011 · 21/04/2011 13:49

Well OP I can see you're getting the expected flaming. FWIW she sounds very like my MIL who is similarly stingy, plays as if she is penniless when we know full well she has six figures stashed away. My parents on the other hand are busily spending my inheritance on themselves, on their friends, as well as a bit on DS and me. (for the avoidance of doubt, I view this as a good thing!) Both sets of parents btw have index linked pensions so their "real" financial position is actually very similar.

Ultimately if someone is a stingy arse there's absolutely nothing you can do to change them just not take it personally and....go buy some nice Green & Blacks! I must say my attitude is similar to your's though, in that I would rather someone not bother if they resent spending the money so much.

diddl · 21/04/2011 13:54

Just me who thinks that "cadbury´s or similar" is perfectly acceptable for a GM to buy her GC?

VajazzHands · 21/04/2011 14:08

I want to meet the child who says, " I won't eat this.. it's cheap chocolate!"

exoticfruits · 21/04/2011 14:08

I am so pleased to see this thread-I knew someone would start one about 'the wrong chocolate'!! (There is no end to the control that some mothers want to exert!)

exoticfruits · 21/04/2011 14:09

DCs actually have different tastes to adults. The chocolate that I enjoy now is very different to the chocolate I enjoyed as a DC.

flyingspaghettimonster · 21/04/2011 15:02

I can see your point - your mother has bought eggs that aren't a good enough quality to want to feed your kids. I am guessing they are like poundland little eggs, not a name brand etc. Those things are flavourless and yucky... when for a quid she could have got a cadbury's egg.

I don't think it makes her stingy though. It is just one of those quirks older people have sometimes. kids quickly learn what sort of gift to expect from each relative etc, and I am sure any chocolate will be welcomed by your kids.

Eggphemia · 21/04/2011 15:05

YABU.

I can't see why your mother's "stinginess" should have any impact on you whatsoever: you're an adult now and she owes you nothing.

jojowest · 21/04/2011 15:09

because she has thousands in the bank that OP thinks she should get the benefit of - now! not when she pops her clogs

shinyshoes · 21/04/2011 15:10

VajazzHands. My DS2 says this although he does eat the cheap crap i've spolit him too much with Hotel Chocolat chocs that I have sent regularly Wink

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 21/04/2011 15:11

OP - your kids will be delighted with the eggs anyway, they wont care how much they cost/how big they are etc etc...but....

I can kinda see where you are coming from.

My MIL (bless her, was lovely before dememtia set in but as tight as a ducks arse) use to buy my DS some right old tat for his b/day and it used to annoy me to the point I would rather she hadnt of bothered. Its not about being materialistic or whatever, it was just the lack of thought. She obv went into the cheapest shop and picked out the cheapest gift poss for a boy regardless of whether he would actually like it or not..........

I think maybe why you are pissed off...lack of thought rather than just being spolit!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 21/04/2011 15:11

and she wasnt skint......she has loads of money so she isnt even tight coz she has to be!

diddl · 21/04/2011 15:15

Oh-sorry, completely misread postBlush

I thought that OP´s mum had bought "cadbury´s or similar".

Eggphemia · 21/04/2011 15:18

My MIL buys absolute cheap crap for DD, but DD loves her Grandma and loves the presents, so there's no issue. MIL is on her own with no means of bringing in any extra money, and it's up to her what she spends it on.

Bluemoonrising · 21/04/2011 15:21

YABU.

My mother has never bought my children an easter egg (the only eggs they get are those that I buy them). I have never once even considered that to be an issue.