to want to punch anyone who tells me how amazing it is that I'm so calm?

[WidowWadman]

Had a few quite rough weeks now, health and otherwise but panicking isn't getting me anywhere so I'm shrugging it off as good as I can. Getting into a panic would not make anything easier would it?

But people telling me that they're amazed that I'm taking stuff so well are really starting to piss me off. It's hard to keep it together when I keep being told that I should be a nervous wreck now.

I thought this is Britain? Whatever happened to 'keep calm and carry on'?

YAB a bit U they are paying you a compliment just take is as it is meant. I think it is more a "wow I do not think I could do it myself" than a "You should be crying and pulling your hair out!" thing.

what would you rather they say???

After the first time, maybe, but getting it all day everyday from the same people is starting to grate.

Do you think you could get away with saying to them "Well there's no more reason to panic than there was yesterday. " whilst, ofc, smiling sweetly?

I find a small smile, whilst all the while thinking to myself 'Fuck the fuck off and when you get there, fuck off some more' works wonders.

People say it because they don't want to think about it happening to them, because it's so horrible that they just 'know' they'd fall apart. But you can't do that, can you? You have to carry on. The other option is not really an option, especially when you have children.

Yanbu. It's so annoying as it feels like your suffering is being negated because you appear to be calm and serene.

"it feels like your suffering is being negated because you appear to be calm and serene."

I understand it in the exact opposing way for some reason.

Don't think anything is being negated, just start finding it hard not to panic when people keep telling me I should

People kept saying that to me when Ds was ill but tbh it didn't bother me.

The comments could also be there way of making sure your ok without constantly asking how you are. I know when one nurse said how well I was coping it lead to be breaking down in tears!

Good suggestions MadamDeathstare, thanks.

Just tell them you are suffering from Swan Syndrome - calm and serene on the surface, but paddling like fuck underneath!!

Some good suggestions on here! It sounds as though people may be trying to say something supportive, though, rather than being insensitive. Hope things improve for you.