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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed, or was she right?

46 replies

Samedi · 21/04/2011 00:04

I was walking along a busy pavement in town- crowded, people in and out of shops etc. I had baby in the front of a Phil and Teds, which is obviously quite a long buggy. A couple walked out of a shop and started walking next to the buggy, and gradually head more towards the road, next to the buggy pushing me out more and more. I can't slow or stop as there are lots of people behind me. The man of the couple suddenly steps toward the road to avoid people in opposite direction, the woman does too as he is 'forcing' her out, I try to keep buggy on the path but the wheels fall off the pavement! Heart stops, a van was heading my way but fortunately very slowly and stopped straitaway.

The thing was she never touched the buggy- she stepped sideways suddenly after gradually moving out, and I reacted instinctively. My heart is thudding now thinking of it, the buggy going off onto a very busy road. I reacted, I'm sure I shouldn't have but I just said 'Do you mind not pushing my buggy off the path' and she said 'I didn't touch it, you were trying to rush round me'. No I wasn't, I was walking! She stopped so I went around her and yes then I did run a bit cos I wanted to be past her and I was pretty upset.

Anyway. I know I'm the one in charge of the buggy, if I had just stopped dead I'd have a had a ton of people pushing into my back or being pissed off but baby would have been safe. I just did what I did automatically. I don't know, she did not touch the buggy in any way yet still I feel she was at fault. But I don't know! If there had been fewer people behind me I would have slowed or stopped but at the time it wasn't an option.

OP posts:

BeerTricksPotter · 21/04/2011 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Guitargirl · 21/04/2011 00:13

YABU

Are you feeling ok otherwise?

Supermoo · 21/04/2011 00:14

I'd have annoyed the people behind me before I'd have risked the buggy going in the road. That said, YANBU to have been annoyed or to have acted automatically. Nobody was hurt, you got to tell the other woman off ( although she was probably just to preoccupied with her own conversation to have noticed your frustrated but polite attempts to get by!), let it go!

MsToni · 21/04/2011 00:14

Au Contraire :)

I use mine to rule the pavement - all the while smiling sweetly and saying sorry to whomever I nudge or bump into or shove out of my way.:o Especially if they stop suddenly or are walking soooooooooooooooo slowly :)

If they cannot see that I have a child in the buggy and watch where they are going, too bad.

Obviously, this is one of the things I am very unreasonable about.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 21/04/2011 00:15

I don't think either of you were really unreasonable, it's just one of those things in a busy place isn't it... I wouldn't have said anything, but I wouldn't have moved over either - it would have been her ankle that copped the wheel of the buggy if she'd walked into it !!

MsToni · 21/04/2011 00:15

PS - YANBU.

I hope you are much better now after the fright.

Original poster

Samedi · 21/04/2011 00:21

I wasn't going fast or ruling the pavement- just walking along. Had I stopped I probably would have been walked into.

In hindsight I should have held my ground but I see someone heading towards bub I head away!

Bit better after fright but I'm avoiding town for a while!

OP posts:

firstsupermum · 21/04/2011 00:25

you have to think about your baby and your safety first, you have to keep the buggy off the road, you dont have to rush or bump into the people just because they was doing it, i use a buggy too for my baby and i am also pregnant (bump) but this doesnt give me right to rush or expect other to notice me in the road, if someone walking slowly i just ask them nicely to mind their back, if they are rushing i just try the safe way to get out off that.
thanks god your safe and you baby too. (smile)

MsToni · 21/04/2011 00:30

PS....I also use my XL shoulder bags to clear the path :)

cat64 · 21/04/2011 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Guitargirl · 21/04/2011 00:31

Ok, I feel like I am in some sort of twilight zone. You were walking. On a pavement. Your child was in a buggy. Nobody pushed you or your buggy. The wheels of your buggy dropped off the pavement because you moved the buggy out of the way. The reason I asked if you were feeling ok is because your reaction seems totally out of proportion to what actually happened? Unless I am not picturing it right?

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 21/04/2011 00:40

YANBU but we meet idots daily in my town..I had a large teenager fall INTO my buggy an ONTO my 2 year old she was walking backwards waving to someone!

Like you I had nowhere to go due to crowds...I threw her off before she SAT her arse on my child.

Now I avoid busy times in town.

molemesseskilledIpom · 21/04/2011 07:00

YANBU

It's the one thing I dont miss about having a pram.

We always said, if we had the money we would set a pair of Gatlin guns to each side of the pram and set them to about 10 feet. It's bloody annoying. I avoided the shopping centres where we lived for years as I couldnt be bothered with having to negotiate my way around people, especially the ones who stop in doorways.

exoticfruits · 21/04/2011 07:13

I don't think that either were being unreasonable-she wasn't to know the difficulties of pushing it. It rather backs up my DHs argument that a huge contraption for one small baby is ridiculous-it is in crowded places anyway.

JustCallMeGrouchy · 21/04/2011 07:22

May I suggest using your voice with a exsucse me please . Or I may I get past .tatics often use when ds is in his wheelchair ( he can't speak so can't say himself) just wait till I get mine I have a rather loud voice

now if we are talking about bags and cigarettes at face level and people forget turn round and whack ( ds got a black eye from one)

but hope your ok op I am guessing you got a fright

BluddyMoFo · 21/04/2011 07:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

purplerabbitofinle · 21/04/2011 07:24

Slightly different, but I regularly push a wheelchair and I expect to rule the pavements.

Dude sat in the chair is twice my weight and I can't physically maneouvre it around people so I expect them to shift!

I have to admit, though, I would think long and hard about the practicalities of taking him to somewhere that busy...

exoticfruits · 21/04/2011 07:28

I have had to push an adult in a wheelchair recently, I would think it is very difficult in a crowded place. With a baby you have a choice and I would go for a sling.

JustCallMeGrouchy · 21/04/2011 07:29

Just ask politley for people to move on the whole they will even including in the London rush times ( often have to travel commuter time due to hospital appointments)

But if someone walks in front/across of ds when he is self propelling well then on their ankles be it .
I shall be adopting the same tatics once I'm mobile often thought of horn for his chair but when he is self propelling he needs both arms for the rhythum

diddl · 21/04/2011 07:33

"I can't slow or stop"

Sorry, but that´s a bit dramatic, isn´t it?

Unless you were actively being pushed, of course you can do both!

theotherboleyngirl · 21/04/2011 07:36

I do think in this case YABU - but only because I do think when it comes to pushing something big and therefore less easy to change direction in tight spots (e.g. double pushchairs and wheelchairs) you have to be reasonably assertive in 'driving' it and it sounds as if you weren't. You should simply have continued walking at your pace maintaining the line you were on as much as possible. They could have ducked behind you then to get kerbside if they wanted.

I have twin toddlers in a tandem (one in front of the other) pushchair and another young child walking alongside. I would avoid somewhere that busy, but otherwise I maintain a strong line a walking and do generally expect people to move for me. That'd be because otherwise other people are going to risk ankles, and walking in to me, as well as risking bags at my child's height. I do it even more so when pushing a wheelchair. But of course then it's worse because the invisibility factor trebles.

CurrySpice · 21/04/2011 07:37

How odd!

And aibu to find the use of "Bubb" to be very grating

RustyBear · 21/04/2011 07:44

JustCallMeGrouchy - one of my mum's friends had one of those rubber bulb type horns fixed on her wheelchair where she could use her elbow to squeeze it without taking her hands off the wheels. It sounded like the Last Trump and cleared the pavement pdq....

diddl · 21/04/2011 07:45

"With a baby you have a choice and I would go for a sling."

Not a choice for everyone!

CareyFakes · 21/04/2011 07:50

It's each to their own in this city. You gotta be bold. I don't go into town when it's busy because it's carnage and I get fucked off. DD and I go early, get our shit and leave.

YABU. And tbh, I still can't get the imagery right for the senario. Just stop?!

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