To not want to go to a party?

[Bassface]

I have a 5 month old DS. We have been invited to a 40th birthday party which starts at 7pm. My mum is the only person I feel comfortable leaving DS with at the moment but she is on holiday.

We have fairly recently got him into a good routine of bath & bottle at 7, asleep by 8. He wakes once in the night normally but is generally sleeping well.

I'm worried that by going to a party at a time when he would usually be in bed would disrupt his sleep pattern and more importantly cause him a lot of stress by being in a noisy bright environment at a time when he should be tucked up in his cot.

Am I being stupid to worry about this one-off occasion or is it really unfair on DS to take him out so late? It feels wrong to me to take him out but don't know if I'm being a bit overprotective.

I wouldn't take a baby to a party personally, sorry chick. But if you're not breastfeeding at the moment I'm sure he'd be fine with someone other than your mum if you really wanted to go x

YANBU.
I agree with you that ds is better off at home. His routine is too important. I took my ds to an 18th party at 9 mo and he couldn't sleep, it was awful for him and I couldn't enjoy myself cos he was unsettled.
Now I would not go to a party if I couldn't find a babysitter.

crashingwaves , dolldaggabuzzbuzz Thanks for your replies and reassurance that my instinct is right. Not BF anymore but still wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him with someone else. Maybe my best friend who sees him every week but she is also away that night.

When we originally accepted the invitation, he was tiny and pretty much fitted around us. He's my first baby so I didn't really know how things would be in the months to come. We had no routine then, just a 'go with the flow' attitude especially as I was breastfeeding on demand but now he is so settled it seems wrong to disrupt things.

Thanks again. Takeaway and DVD instead I think

Nope, YANBU, every baby/parenting style is different. However, (unless the party hosts have their own DC) don't make a huge big deal out of why you can't possibly disrupt your PFB's routine for their party. Remember that their occasion is important to them and just be brief and polite in explaining that you can't make it.

YANBU.

Our DD has a routine that isn't that strict, but if we ever get back a bit later than planned she gets really tired and tearful so it's not really fair on her so I always try and make sure I'm back in time for her routine...

If you really really wanted to go, then I would say give it a go and see, however if your routine is really important to you then ywnbu to decline.

DS was fab at parties - he'd just nod off in pram wherever and so managed a wedding reception; FILs retirement party; MILs 60th no bother; however with DD we took it in turns to pound the pavement with her in pushchair at many a do and in the end gave up. Some young children are ok with disrupted routines, others are not.

SpringchickenGoldBrass Funny you should say that! Over Christmas the host commented on much she envied our free and easy approach and she never left the house when it was her DS's naptime. I try to keep things fairly loose in the day such as letting him have his naps in the pushchair or carseat but really want bedtime to stay at bedtime.

Yes, couldn't you go later on once he's asleep?

Take him...with something for him to sleep in when he's tired-pushchair /car carry seat. He'll love the intraction and fall asleep when he's tired. Go home when he's had enough.

Look, you know your own baby - and you also know how much you actually want to go to this party anyway. I did take my DS everywhere when he was little, but he was a kid who was happy to be 'put to bed' in his buggy and would sleep happily in a quiet corner, well, up until he was just about 2 at which point he was growing too big for the buggy and starting to resent being out past his bed time, so that was when I started either arranging childcare or staying home. And there were plenty of occasions where I just politely declined on the grounds of no childcare.
That's the thing with small DC, they change WRT what they will accept.

I would take him and put him upstairs in his pram/cot. Try not to let your DC routine rule your lives. You may regret it later. But, obviously, you know what you want to do, so it's up to you.

You have to do what feels right for you. However when my dd1 was little we had no options for baby sitting and we took her everywhere with us. She grew into a child who was very easy to settle in many different circumstances, and was always the child who was sleeping peacfully at 8pm under a pile of coats while other toddlers were whining and fractious desperate foir their routine and a darkened room. So what started out as a potential difficultly ended up as a bit of a blessing.