I know I'm unreasonable, but it is justified

[GreatBallsOfFluff]

I'm semi seeing someone at the moment. The reason I say 'semi' is that having been on my own for the past 5 years, I am more than comfortable and happy staying like that. Plus I don't have the time to try and fit anyone else into my life at the moment. All of which I have told him but he still seems very keen and is trying to please me although not in an 'in my face' way. He listens to everything I tell him and takes it on board. It's only been a couple of months anyway, so nothing serious.

Now to my unreasonable-ness...

It's my birthday at the weekend and today when we met for lunch he asked me what date I was going on holiday. I told him and he said "oh no, I thought so but I had a surprise for you". It transpires he had bought me tickets to see someone live whom he knew I wanted to see, but it's at a time whilst I'm away. That was no problem at all, we were both apologetic about it, him saying he should have checked the dates as he knew I was going away, and me for being away when he wanted to surprise me.

What annoyed me though is that he booked the tickets without a thought as to what I would do with my DD on this night out. He knows I have knows I have no family around, and ex only has DD one night a fortnight. It actually made me really quite cross having always made it clear that first in my life is DD and also how much time in my life is taken with DD and that as lovely as it was to try and surprise me like that (in fact it's the first time - that I can remember - that anyone has surprised me like that before), he needs to understand that it just doesn't work like that for a single parent.

I didn't tell him this at the time as it only dawned on me afterwards but I'm stewing about it now. So yes, I am unreasonable, but don't you agree that it's justified?

"Marmaladetwatkins I shall give you his number if nothing every comes of it"

Oooh, no I didn't mean me! I have a loverly DH

Who was he taking you to see? Just being nosey...

Beesimo, I adore your posts. Just wanted you to know. :)

Oops sorry marmalade ....

No that's a whole other thread "AIBU to go a see *** live"

I'm sure discussions have been had before about it, and it was a resounding "YABU to like *"

Justin Bieber it is, then...

Ooh Beesimo - what a wonderful lecture. Consider yourself told OP

Yabu, and acting like a spoilt madam

But I think you know that now

My secret is out Marmalade

But seriously though, it's not Justin Bieber

Yep Pancake, I do consider myself told, just need to actually put work up the courage to put Beesimo's advice into action

I think I'm going to be a changed person as a result of mumsnet. I read a fair number of posts on here about unreasonable people (wether it's the person posting or the person being posted about) and quite often I can see bits of myself in them.

I must be a really awful person, but I'm pleased I'm ale to see how others may perceive me.

Just thought I'd share this.
x

able

If it makes you feel better, my partner's ex got him some very expensive tickets for a live show 100 miles away from us on the precise day of his birthday when we (DS and I) had organised a small party for him, and told him about that one night before. Then she got all angry at him not being able to put our plans to the side, find a night long baby sitter for DS, and drive to the other side of England to go. She even made a point of saying how hurt and upset their 3 year old would be that daddy didn't accept the gift.

She ended up going herself with her partner... The funny thing is that she loved that comedian but she also knew very well that my partner absolutely hates him.

He couldn't go, but god.... she certainly ruined his 40th birthday with that.

BTW Back into your problem, I wouldn't be angry, I think that he might have thought that perhaps you could arrange baby sitting for a special day, and to be honest, it is not too much to expect (and I'm saying this as a lone parent who has her child with her 100% of the time and not so much money left for baby sitting fees)

GreatBallsofFluff, my DH does things like that and thinks he's a great fella with out a thought for who will mind DS (and that's his own DS!). Men are just not programmed to think that way. Don't let a chance at love pass you by. If you look for flaws in someone, you'll always find them. Don't look so hard.

It would slightly irk me too tbh.

Pancakeflipper

Thank you I just gave the self same one to DD1 she has just given her lovely lad rockall for buying her the WRONG KIND OF FLOWERS!!!

you've taken everyone's post well Greatballs and it doesn't sound like you've had a go at him which is good. I'd try and get a regular babysitter for times like this so that next time he surprises you won't have to worry about who is going to look after your DD. He sounds lovely.

Yanbu-ish. (From a fellow lone parent with few babysitters).

People with partners or no DC's get used to being able to go out without arranging a babysitter.

But you must find a babysitter and go out with him

Awww, he's a bloke, and a childless one at that, and they sometimes just don't think things all the way through.

He was trying to do a nice thing and you should really appreciate that.

Massive overthinking!

But i wouldn't call you spoilt, in a way it is better to be cautious than being a fool. Just don't be so over-cautious try to find a balance. Enjoy it!

Oh and sitters.co.uk is £6 ph.