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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to let 5 year old walk the rest of the way himself

29 replies

BeautifulBlondePineapple · 20/04/2011 13:39

DS1 is 5 and in Primary 1. Today I walked him to school as usual and he asked if I would leave him at the bottom of the hill & he could go the rest of the way himself.

It's a fairly small hill (100m to playground), but it's on a corner so I couldn't actually see him going into the playground. It's mostly car free as it's a dead end at the bottom, but there are occasional cars.

He's a very sensible and rule-abiding child so I'm sure that he would go straight into the playground (which would have a member of staff in it) and wouldn't mess about or talk to strangers. I'm happy about my decision to let him walk the rest of the way himself, but would any of you think that I was being unreasonable by doing this?

OP posts:

bamboostalks · 20/04/2011 13:40

Yes I would. 5 is too young to be unsupervised but if you are happy...

BeckleinaBunnySuit · 20/04/2011 13:43

At 5 I would still want to see him right to his classroom door, I always wait until DS2 is in the classroom too and he is 8 now, it is expected at our primary shool.

Sirzy · 20/04/2011 13:43

I wouldn't, at a push I would follow behind so I could see him.

cuteboots · 20/04/2011 13:49

5 is to young to be unsupervised its your call as you are the parent

Bert2e · 20/04/2011 13:50

It's against our school rules - you need to see then to the classroom door at that age.

SolosEggSpoonentiallyShrinking · 20/04/2011 13:51

No way would I do this.

SolosEggSpoonentiallyShrinking · 20/04/2011 13:51

Yes and I know our school would not allow it either.

mollymole · 20/04/2011 13:52

there is NO WAY i would do this - see him into school

Journey · 20/04/2011 13:55

If you're happy about your decision why are you asking if your were being reasonable or not? It's a bit contrary. I think you know it was unreasonable.

P1 children are meant to be taken to and collected from school by an adult so you are being unreasonable.

gillybean2 · 20/04/2011 13:56

Too young. What if he gets to school and finds it is closed (forgotten non pupil day, emergency repairs). Or he was meant to bring something and has forgotten so runs back to tell you (non uniform day, cereal packet for acticity, wellies etc)

If it was the school gate and you could see other people going in and out then maybe. I always saw him to the door though.

Why doesn't he want you walking him to the gate? That is what would concern me? What is he worried about?
Also my ds is very sensible and rule abiding. Until other children are thrown into the mix and then he can do things sometimes I would never imagine he would consider or think was ok.

BristolJim · 20/04/2011 13:56

I'd let him. You know him best and if you think he's up to the job, go for it. As long as you're OK with prissy parents tutting over the top of their bubble wrapped dahlings, I don't see a problem.

peeriebear · 20/04/2011 13:56

At 5 we have to see our DCs into the classroom.

mandoo · 20/04/2011 13:58

I would let him walk down alone then follow after so he couldn't see and check he was in the playground.

controlpantsandgladrags · 20/04/2011 14:04

No way. I would be quite worried if the school were happy for a 5 year old to be turning up on his own too.

LetThereBeRock · 20/04/2011 14:08

He's too young to be allowed to do that.

TerrysNo2 · 20/04/2011 14:12

No 5 is too young, maybe let him walk ahead slightly and walk behind but always check he gets to the school and in the door.

cory · 20/04/2011 14:13

Can't imagine the school will be happy with this; they need to know clearly where their responsibilities start and yours end.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 20/04/2011 14:18

I think whether it's an 'OK' thing to do or not (like many things) is very dependant on where you live. I used to live in NZ - the majority of children walk to & from school on their own (with or without friends) but without parents, so it doesn't seem at all shocking to me :) However, in the UK, children all seem to be taken to the classroom and & collected from the classroom until they are quite old, so I expect you will get a lot of 'tutting' going on! You may also get the school calling to ask why he's turning up on his own :)

Yet in the UK the vast majority of young girls are allowed to dress far more grown up & they wear a lot more makeup etc than girls in NZ. Not that the two are related - but just to say, a lot of what we do as parents depends on what the social norm of the area we live in is - whether we see that within ourselves or not.

Onetoomanycornettos · 20/04/2011 14:22

At our school, the children are allowed to arrive without parents and go and be met outside the school gates (or walk) in Year 2, so 7. I don't think that's mollycoddling and plenty of children do walk or ride scooters on their own. Like all these things, it's a balance. I would say 5 is too little, not enough road sense and is also just very small to be seen by a car turning into a drive, I see my 5 year old into school, but am happy to wave my 7 year old off a few yards from the school gate knowing she can get there safely.

If he asks again, say no for now, but when he's a bigger boy it's a great idea.

worraliberty · 20/04/2011 14:22

It's against our school rules too but that's because there's no playground supervision and the gate opens out onto a busy road.

It's your call OP but I just think it seems needless and pointless. There's plenty of time when he's older.

RumourOfAHurricane · 20/04/2011 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Kendodd · 20/04/2011 14:30

I would be quite uncomfortable about not being able to see him going into the school but would be very happy to drop him off quite a way away just so long as I had clear view into the playground for the rest of the way.

On the whole though I think we overprotect and mollycoddle our children far too much in this country and I think most five year olds are perfectly capable of walking 100m on their own.

NotJustKangaskhan · 20/04/2011 14:59

I agree with Chipping, it seems very location dependent. I don't see a problem with it, and really don't get the rules of having to walk children to their classrooms.

gilly I don't think he's worried about anything - he's just trying to be more independent and be a big kid.

LittleMissFluffBrain · 20/04/2011 15:24

No way would I do that, and it's against our school rules anyway - children in infants have to be accompanied to school.

Insomnia11 · 20/04/2011 15:44

I would if DD1 (5) wanted to go a little way on her own. She has walked into the school playground with a friend before and I've been way behind with another mum. We can leave them in the playground playing from 8.40am as there is a supervisor but my daughter so far wants me to stay and wave her off.

She also practically walks to the childminders on her own (100m at the end of the road) as DD2 is too slow and I walk at her pace!

I've said I'll let them walk to school on their own (together) when they are 8 and 5 respectively as long as they are both sensible enough. There are no roads to cross. It's a ten minute walk and there are lots of other children and parents walking the same way.

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