Pregnant and looking for work.

[LoveACuppaTea]

Hello, I'm having a really bad day today.

Im 7 weeks pregnant and am self employed but at the moment can only find work for 7 hours a week. My DH earns 23000 a year but after tax gets 1450 a month and we rent a small 1 bedroom flat. Because of DHs salary we cannot claim housing or council tax benefits. We are struggling to try and find a 2 bedroom house that we can afford and DH is wanting to learn to drive so he is not getting home after 7pm when the baby comes but cant. DH is always saying "oh I wish I had money" and it makes me feel like shit because I'm really trying to get work and am even applying for jobs as I dont mind not being self employed - its just all I have at the minute.

My sister on the other hand has a baby -lives in a really nice flat in a nice area of our town, only works saturdays in the local shop and her DP is a student so no coucil tax and most likely they get housing benefit.

AIBU for being really annoyed by this? They seem to have the perfect life yet we're sitting here struggling trying to make ends meet when really we're the ones who should be better off. Im getting really worried that the more pregnant I get the less likely I am going to be able to get a job. I just dont know what to do.

I don't have much advice really, but was wondering how much your rent is? My husband is on £16,000 a year and I am unemployed. I have been looking for work but we have decided that as I am out of work anyway it might be a good time to have a baby, as I have always said that when I have one I wanted to be at home with it for the first few years, so we are trying to get me pregnant!

We will have to cope on just his salary, and it is hard but needs must. We don't get any benefits, though my husband is looking into tax credits. It will be nice if we get them, but if not then that's noone's problem but ours and we don't expect them, if you see what I mean.

We don't go out, don't get takeaways anymore, don't have holidays (didn't even have a honeymoon), only buy new clothes etc when we specifically need them (yesterday was a big treat as we both bought new shoes as ours were literally falling apart - my new pair was the grand total of £16), etc. We are resigned to the fact that if we have a baby it will be clothed in hand me downs or charity shop clothes, but that's just how it is and that's fine.

I think you need to try to stop thinking about how much other people have and focus on what you have, as on £23,000, depending on your rent, you must have a fair bit more money than me, and I'm surviving. Though I agree it is very hard! Congratulations on the pregnancy also.

Chin up! It' amazing how everyone else's grass is always greener.
The thing is you never know what truly lies behind the facade.
If you and DH are healthy, happy together, and all is progressing well with the pregnancy, then be happy for what you do have. No matter how much money you have it's never enough!
Keep job hunting and something is bound to turn up. My favourite saying is "it's not what you know, but who!".
Go out of your way to talk to people everywhere, in pubs, clubs, mothers' meetings, shops etc etc. It's amazing how quickly something will turn up.
And lastly, a trick someone once taught me was to smile and chuckle to yourself....a lot. It can really ease stress and tension...try it!

I was unemployed for the first two months of my PG with my eldest. It was really shit and I did worry a lot about how we would manage. Your partner has a much better wage than mine did at the time (nearly twice as much!).

But later on we had DD and DH was trying to finish his degree so we could improve our prospects. Don't assume people are finding it easy just because they're entitled to HB you only get it when you've got really low incoming after all, you will only make yourself more miserable and it might spoil your relationship with them.

First off, you dont need a two bedroom flat yet, for at least another 18 months.. which gives you plenty of time to get sorted.

Can your husband look for a better paid job?