High heel shoes/provocative clothing

[thejanuarys]

Just been watching Sex Education show on C4 and founder of MN was on. Essentially, consensus is that it is inappropriate for young primary aged girls to wear high heeled shoes/girly-adult clothing. I agree. However, my contention is that it starts before primary age. My four yr old is begging me for princess dresses and disney character high heeled plastic shoes. Other mums I know allow their children to 'play' in these items, providing disney/high street shop versions of make-up, nail varnish etc for girls. And my kid goes to a good nursery! So far I have playfully/skillfully said 'no'. I will continue to do so until she is 14 at least! But it is my/our responsibility to say 'no' to children. Yet, if articulate, intelligent parents are allowing children to dress up, wear make-up and dress in princess dresses, then of course girls will begin to covet them. On the rare occasions I allow my daughter to dress in this way at playdate etc, she is invariably greeted with 'what a lovely/pretty princess' type comments. The shops are to blame (I rarely take my child shopping with me, so temptation/exposure is limited) for being opportunist, but parents are the ones who are ultimately responsible for indulging;/allowing their children to be seduced by the disney marketing machine which will lead girls to believe that being 'girly' is as, or more important than being funny, clever, kind, capable. It is way too late at primary school age. I am very concerned because these girls, whose parents do not have the skill to impose boundaries, will be the ones exerting peer pressure on my daughter, making my job a lot harder.

I don't know how anyone could say "the feminist agenda has resulted in higher heels". Fashion has resulted in higher heels, nowt to do with feminism. I also don't happen to think that feminism and heels are polar opposites.

What you can say is "feminism has failed to solve all the problems of society". Show me an ism that does or has!

Things change. Humans manage to solve some problems and create others, throughout history. It's never going to be perfect.

Femniism means you can own property and vote, see your children after divorce and be allowed to work as a doctor, lawyer etc. It means you cannot be made to give up work because you got married. It has made a huge impact on the lives of women across the globe.

I have three girls and I cannot stop the princess juggernaut. We have the dresses, plastic shoes, fake and real play makeup etc

But they are also strong minded, intelligent, they play with space/city lego, draw, paint, climb trees rock climbing etc

They are doing well at school. I support them in whatever they are interested in while talking to them about it. I'm sure they won't grow up wanting to be WAGS as they have living a breathing role models all around them, friends and relatives all of whom have different occupations, skills and strengths. That is what counts.

(But I drew the line at pink lego and Barbie. I may eat my words yet.)

jeez, i have photos of my 3 year old son in my high heels - and he has turned out ok (fully grown adult now)

its creative play, imaginative and role playing

nah! lets all stick them in front of the telly and the computer 24/7 and completely knock all imagination and creativity out of the little blighters

I drew the line at pink lego and Barbie

would you allow a son to play with pink lego and barbie?

YAB a bit U about the Disney dresses. They are overpriced, poorly-made tat that I wouldn't let any DD I might have wear as a normal outfit but I'd have no problem (other than huffing and puffing over the price and quality :o) with letting her wear one to a fancy dress party or dressing up around the house.

YANBU about the nail varnish and makeup. I totally agree with my mum's stance on this one - not until you're old enough to stop covetting that hideous bright blue sparkly eye shadow and then only a few good-quality products that won't make your skin itch AFTER you've had a lesson or two from a professional beautician on how to apply it properly.

If a little girl (or boy) wants to dress up as a disney princess and wear disney princess shoes I do not see the problem. How exactly is dressing up as a belle from beauty and the beast provocative? Besides most disney princesses kick ass - look at belle she rebelled and wanted to be intellectual, look at mulan-she joined the army. The same if they want to dress up as a soldier or builder.
It is dress up, let them be who they want to be. If your little girl wants to be a girly girl that is her choice, the same if she wants to be a tomboy. No-one has a problem with boys watching bob the builder, why the obsession with stopping girls wanting to be disney princesses.
However children being dressed up in plainly adult clothing (and tarty adult clothing) is wrong. A princess dress and plastic high heels with a picture of cinderella on, and peel off nail polish is one thing, fake tan, mini skirt, crop tops, and knee high boots is another.

I also do not like the way people seem to think that if you are intelligent and articulate then you obviously cannot be feminine or allow your child to play dress up as if these are masculine only traits. being articulate and intelligent does not mean I must be a pseudo-man and try to hide my femininity.

fedup,
Feminism for me has meant that I could get an eductaion of my choosing, I could marry who I wanted, I could be married and have a career of my choosing, when I have children I can still work, and my partner will do as much childcare and housework as me, I can vote, have my own money, have equal say in household finances etc join politics without my husband or father's permission, cannot legally be discriminated for being a woman/mother/wife. Not exactly the life I would have had if I had been born in another time or place.

My girls play dress up in disney princess dresses and shoes, they also play in the mud and bring in worms to have as 'pets' they like space ships, pirates, transformers and other less 'girly' games.

When I was a small child I used to wear my mums heels and wear pretty dresses then by the time I was 11 or 12 I was a complete 'tom boy' in baggy jeans and t shirts, always out playing with the boys in our village.

I went on to be a well rounded, intelligent adult.

Really dont see the problem myself.

I wouldn't let them wear padded bras, mini skirts and crop tops though.

I don't understand why it is such a big deal. As a child I raided my Mums make-up, had a girls world head and played with barbies and my little ponies. I was a totally pink girlie girl. Today I am a confident and successful Mum with a career and a happy family and am the main breadwinner.

My 2 youngest children love dressing up in princess clothes and plastic heels, complete with handbags and fake mobile phones - one is a boy and one is a girl and frankly I don't give a damn what others think about it. They also both love Thomas Tank and digging in the mud. They are close in age, share all their toys and share a room so it's just natural for them and they are too young to be tarnished by the idea of gender typical toys and clothes.

I think giving children love, time and attention has a far bigger impact on their future than whether they wear diney princess dresses or not.

I draw the line at little girls dressed like hookers though and yanbu in disliking that.