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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be so irritated by next door's kids

12 replies

nightowlmostly · 19/04/2011 20:40

I will preface this by saying that I don't have kids (yet), and don't know how noisy boys in particular can be, but this seems excessive to me.

A family has moved next door to me, about two weeks ago, and there are 3 kids, boys. They look about 8 and 9ish, and a toddler. They scream all day, from 7am till about 8pm. I am amazed by the racket, we had a family there before and they were nothing like this. They are outside yelling and screaming then run indoors up the stairs, crashing and banging about, knocking things over, I don't even know what they're up to, honestly. They sound like they're just running wild. All the mum seems to do is yell at them, but makes no difference, it's just continuous noise.

It doesn't help that we both work night shifts, and this is really a big deal. It just seems to be an unreasonable amount of shouting and yelling, but maybe all boys behave this way? They seem really badly behaved to be honest. I'm really thinking of moving house, it's that bad.

OP posts:
Sickofthesnow · 19/04/2011 20:46

Have you tried going round to the parents and talking to them instead of just grumping about it? You won't get anywhere if you don't try.

Maybe the mum doesn't realise how irritating it is for the neighbours. Or maybe she's knackered with 3 boisterous kids and is stressed out with moving house etc?

I've got 2 boys and 4 girls (some are step kids) and it is the boys who make the most noise! I'm forever TRYING to be patient with them but sometimes have to yell above the noise to be heard in order to calm them down a bit!

I'd be really annoyed though if my neighbours had a problem with it and didn't even talk to me about it.

MogTheForgetfulCat · 19/04/2011 20:54

I have 3 boys, they can be v loud - the older 2 (5 and 3) currently seem to be trying to outdo each other in terms of volume, and I spend a lot of time each day telling them not to shout. But that seems to be their current default volume setting.

But constant yelling/screaming, charging around and knocking things over? No. Presumably this will only be a major issue during the school hols? But can see it would be a real pain if you need to sleep because of shifts. Agree with poster above - think you'll have to try to have a friendly word. A bit of noise is to be expected from a family with 3 kids, but don't see why it should be so excessive.

smashingtime · 19/04/2011 20:57

Oh dear - do you live next door to me? I lie awake worrying about how noisy and manic my ds is and what the neighbours must think!!

Boys, and I imagine 3 of them are loud and very hard to control IME. I'm sure the parents are doing what they can and maybe they are just used to the racket and don't even hear it any more.

Sorry but I can't imagine there is much you can do about it - they WILL grow up and hopefully start going out on their own with their mates more though Smile

Original poster
nightowlmostly · 19/04/2011 21:02

They are aware we work nights, as we mentioned it to the dad when one of the kids came round banging on the door for his ball back. The boy tried to come marching into the house twice as well! It seems like they have no manners.

We didn't want to go round saying we work night shifts, I don't want to put a guilt trip on them because it's not their problem. But now they know about it, is seems obvious the amount of crashing about is going to be annoying. To be honest, there are other kids on the street, I can hear them and I have no problem with that, earplugs are a godsend. If it's normal kids playing sounds it's not something I could ever complain about, but this family seems to be taking the piss.

I don't really want to get into a thing with them if I can help it though, it's not good to complaing to the neighbours unless absolutely necessary, do you not think?

OP posts:
Sickofthesnow · 19/04/2011 21:09

Why should you feel like you have to move though? That is the worst case scenario surely? So it MUST be bothering you a lot and I do think that it needs to be a case of your DH and you going around there to have a friendly chat. Be nice and make them aware that you are struggling to deal with the sheer volume and put the guilt trip on them if needs be!

i honestly think if they are decent enough parents and haven't noticed they will probably be embarrassed and try to address the issues. If they are not willing to at least meet you halfway then Im not sure what steps are best to take next. But I do think that moving is drastic action.

Original poster
nightowlmostly · 19/04/2011 21:15

To be honest we were debating the pros and cons of moving anyway, this has just been the push required to help us decide! I'm worried about selling, if they are home when we have viewings.

mog, they moved in two weeks ago, and as soon as they get up or come in from school it's constant yelling and running up and down the stairs, which is really noisy. Maybe it's worth mentioning that part at least, maybe they could stop doing that so much.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 19/04/2011 21:17

I don't think it's anything to do with what sex they are.

Loud boisterous kids are just that.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 19/04/2011 21:22

My 2 DDs are awful at times and I pity te neighbours on both sides....I try to keep them quiet and occupied but they generally degenerate into wildness, yelling and running about. They don't eat crap either.

All I can suggest is that you go round...with a small egg for the kids....and say "I wanted to welcome you and also to let you know that I work nights....I wondered if you could possibly tell the boys to try to play away from the window in the day?"

Its not as blunt as saying "Your kids are too loud" as she may also wish they would shut up....but it is a gentle way of asking them to try to be considerate. Plus it's the hols now OP...it will be better soon.

cheesesarnie · 19/04/2011 21:28

maybe theyre excited because theyve moved to a new house and its sunny outside!
its not the childrens problem that you work nights.

i live next door to a childminder-my problem.
btw its got nothing to do with them being boys!

Original poster
nightowlmostly · 19/04/2011 21:54

cheesesarnie I did already say that I am aware that my shift patterns are not the neighbours' responsibility, thank you.

Doesn't stop me thinking that compared to the kids that lived there before, these ones are really badly behaved.

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 19/04/2011 22:21

but maybe they are just settling in,like i said-theyve just moved and the weathers lovely.

MangoTango · 19/04/2011 22:25

At least when the kids are back at school things will quieten down a bit. The toddler may start preschool to.

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