Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel at 46 that it's too late to change your life radically?

56 replies

queenceleste · 19/04/2011 13:49

It feels too late for me at the moment.

I am suddenly looking back and thinking I've been unwise about many things (principally re financial security)

Anyone out there who thinks anything positive on this subject? I'd appreciate it.

OP posts:
Original poster
queenceleste · 19/04/2011 19:02

It's really interesting, since making this post earlier I've had an idea for a small business I might look into setting up and have been really quite excited at the thought! I think just posting here has really helped as has your replies. Thanks very much!

I just need to not start undermining myself with deadening gloomy thoughts and maybe pursue it a bit.
Grin

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 19/04/2011 19:18

Never too late-I think that I am a 'late developer' and have done most things later than others. Looking back I wish I had got their earlier, but better late than never!

ChristinedePizan · 19/04/2011 19:23

Well I totally changed my life just before my 46th birthday - moved to the seaside, left my full time job and set up my own business. I have the confidence now to do things I wouldn't have had when I was younger. Go for it!

CheshireDing · 19/04/2011 19:50

Good luck with the small business idea Queen. If it's something you are really interested in you will be more motivated anyway (rather than just a job for the money).

You are never too old to do something new. You are only here once and must enjoy it to the best of your ability.

I think sometimes people just get scared of giving up the money and security, ef that though. I sold my house, went backpacking and met my DH whilst travelling (even though I was so drunk at the time I couldn't remember his name!). If I had stayed in the job I hated I would have probably boiled my own head by now.

Are you able to tell us your business idea? :)

Original poster
queenceleste · 20/04/2011 09:12

Thanks Cheshireding, I think I should do some research first, partly because it's probably been done and I need to look into it!

And that's a very good point about doing something you love
Also didn't Mary Wesley write her first bestseller in her 70s?
Much appreciated everyone thanks.

OP posts:
vickibee · 20/04/2011 09:16

I am 43 and after many years of teaching I walked away and am retraining to be an accountant. Lots of exams which is tough when you work nearly full time have a home and kids to look after. Most people training are twenty something singletons at home with parents. It is not impossible - where there is a will there is a way. Completed 70 % of my training so there is light at the end of the tunnel

MarieFromStMoritz · 20/04/2011 09:17

No way! I'm 46. I'm having a baby, doing an MBA and planning on emigrating Smile

Numberfour · 20/04/2011 09:20

What a great question to ask, OP! I am 45 in a few weeks and have lots I want to change.

Thanks also for everyone who has given such positive examples. I have already made a career change (from law to early years practitioner) and have NO regrets whatsover. However, I still seriously need to look at financial security and my horrific fatness!

Collegemum38 · 20/04/2011 09:33

I am 38 ( 39 in a few weeks but hanging in to saying I am 38 Smile. I dont think its ever too late to change but do think you need to be realistic.

I feel like I have just woken up and smelt the coffee after doing nothing with my life. I left school at 16 being told I was thick as shit and not believeing in myself at all. I had an OK job that didnt progress to much which I left at 26 to have kids. I have been a full time SAHM ever since with some financial implications although we have managed on DHs salary.

I was too scared to go back to work and retraining was a serious no go after all I had been written off by others and so wrote myself of, really deeply believing I was some underclass thicko of society with absolutely no hope.

After 4 years of half heartedly looking for jobs that I would apply for then pray they would not contact me for an interview (because I had no self confidence or belief), I was so depressed. My DC are growing up & the reality of what do I do with the rest of my life was looming.

Then one day I saw a college course (been looking at courses for 4 years and doing nothing) that took my fancy and I applied. Its nothing fancy, not a degree or even an access course but a level 3 industry based course, very real qualifications taught in modules for what I quite fancy doing.

I started the course last year - nearly didnt go on the 1st day as I was terrified. To my shock the girl that was branded a loser and thick as shit in 1988 when I left school is actually fairly intelligent. Top of my college class and gaining distinctions in everything so far. I cannot believe it.

But do you know what my best achievement to date is - finally after 22 years of believing I was fit for sod all, I have just woken up and realised I am worth something. I am not thick. I am capable and now believe I can get the job I want. I have discoverd self belief. This is my biggest achievement ever.

I have recently even had a job offer too, doing what I want to do.

I cannot believe how much I have changed in myself in the past 7 months since September. This time last year I would have seen your post and said " no its too late to change". Please go for what you want in life but be realistic about your goals. Had I gone to do a higher level course I may have found it too tough and just increased my belief that I was thick as shit iykwim. I am so angry I wasted 22 years of my life thinking I was worthless. Go for your dreams, life is just too short.

Good luck with whatever changes you choose to make.

MarieFromStMoritz · 20/04/2011 09:38

No way! I'm 46. I'm having a baby, doing an MBA and planning on emigrating

Oh, and whilst I am showing off, can I also add that I am finally getting slim after 2 decades of being fat. I have lost a stone over the past 3 weeks on the Dukan diet and I feel amazing!

CrepeDeChineWag · 22/10/2016 18:23

A timely thread for me. Early 40s and a SAHM for TEN years which hasbeen great but I really am now beginning to think that I need a new challenge. But what?? So hard to chose a path when unsure if that path will really suit me, especially as re training usually costs (a lot) of money.

To those of you who switched course at this age did you always have a burning desire to do what you're doing now and if not how did you arrive at where you are?

EmpressKnowsWhereHerTowelIs · 22/10/2016 18:30

Crepe, welcome to MN, and I would recommend you start your own thread asking your question.

What's likely to happen right now is that people will read the opening post, respond to it & then get confused. If you have your own thread you'll get better answers.

ICuntSeeYourPoint · 22/10/2016 18:32

I think it's too early settle with a life you're unhappy in. If you can make a change now, to make yourself happier, make it!

CrepeDeChineWag · 22/10/2016 18:38

I think you under estimate the intelligence of people on MN. I appreciate your advice and wasn't intentionally de-railing the thread. My experience of threads is that they are used for the OP to gain advice and for discussions to take place and that sometimes others adk questions of people already on the threads as they can relate to them. You're right though, I might get better/more advice if I started my own thread, maybe not.

Thanks for the welcome, I've been waiting 8 years for that (yep I've been here that long under various changes).

Please ignore my previous post everyone!

Lorelei76 · 22/10/2016 18:42

Crepe,,this is a zombie thread anyway so good to start your own I think.

Discobabe · 22/10/2016 18:45

You could live for another 50 years yet. Is it worth changing when you're posibly less than half way through life? It totally is.

bikerlou · 22/10/2016 18:45

I went to university at around that age to do an NHS degree and have completely changed careers. It's not too late 46 is the idea time to do it before 50. One of the students in my calss was 60 and has gone on to set up a private practise.

moomoo222 · 22/10/2016 18:48

'timely thread' from 5 years ago!? Hmm

I think the point about starting your own thread was that is a zombie thread & everyone on here who had relevant advice originally may well have moved on (or off MN) a good while ago and are unlikely to respond to your question.

groovygreenwichgirl · 22/10/2016 18:54

I'm a teacher and the headteacher at my school trained to be a teacher in her 40s after bringing up her children. She got a job as an nqt at the school and worked her way up rapidly to become head this year (in late 40s now).

groovygreenwichgirl · 22/10/2016 18:56

Ooh just saw it was a zombie thread!

ANewStartOverseas · 22/10/2016 18:59

NOt too late.
At that age my mum started a degree in a completely diferent area nd then started a new job.

I'm now 46yo and yes financial stability is actually becoming more important for me (esp pension wise). I think its certainly not too late to change life. After all, you've just gone over half your life (ish). Think about all the things you ahve done so far and therefore of all the things you can still do!

ANewStartOverseas · 22/10/2016 19:00

Oh bugger...

For others

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT
ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT

chocolateworshipper · 22/10/2016 19:08

Is resurrecting zombie threads some kind of new hobby? Seems to be happening a lot lately.

CrepeDeChineWag · 22/10/2016 19:14

Ahh right yes I am a fucking idiot Blush sorry!!! Very embarassing and er now I take your point
Hilarious to mention intelligence, clearly mine got stuck in the play doh way back in 2010.
I really DO need to do something else Blush

Molehillfromamountain · 22/10/2016 19:16

Not too late, my DH and I married when he was 50, had our DD a year later and DS after that. We've moved to a new area and he's taken on a new challenge at work. A huge amount of change and we are doing okay.
Re potty training...flipping hard work if your DC is anything like mine!